


Different scales

by PenniMorrow



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Age Difference, Aged-Up Character(s), Aged-Up Killua Zoldyck, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Archeological field, Aro Ace Gon, Confused Killua, Falling In Love, Ging is a legend, Gon is super best friend, It's modern world but I will use HxH countries instead, Kakin, Killua is 19, M/M, Politics, Rare Pairings, Slow Burn, So you will find some nods to it, Summer Love, The inspiration came after watching Call me by your name, There are no minor in this story, age gap, archeology, bisexual killua, bold killua
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:00:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 69,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23482075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PenniMorrow/pseuds/PenniMorrow
Summary: Killua and Gon are two archeology interns on legendary Ging Freecs project in Kakin.While Gon is focused on his goal of becoming one of the greatest archeobotanist, Killua decides to simply tag along in hope of finding some inspiration of what to specialize in.His life has been a series of spontaneous decisions when it came to career orientation and lovers... But he didn't expect what was waiting for him during that summer.
Relationships: Ging Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs & Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 123
Kudos: 113





	1. Scratching the Surface

**Author's Note:**

> This story came to me a couple of months ago and I'm really into it !  
> I did not expect to ever write again, but here I am. 
> 
> Apparently, it's a rare pair, so be warn !  
> Tho this time it's not underage or predatory. (But it can get be uncomfortable for some, so warning, big age gap !) 
> 
> Also, this story will find its inspiration in real historical/archeology discoveries but I will be using HxH country names because I want to avoid getting into real world geopolitics and I also want to give myself some creative space. 
> 
> Sorry in advance for grammar/syntax mistakes. English isn't my first language and although I try to be careful, I'm probably not seing most of my mistakes.

**Chapter 01 - Scratching the Surface**

As he was getting in his Landscape archeology class, Killua immediately spotted Gon who was sitting just a few rows over, in the middle. He smiled looking at how Gon was already ready with his notebook and pencils, he had already written out the date at the top of his paper. 

He was the perfect student, but that made sense, it was his favorite class after all. And Kite was a great teacher. They had him last year in Ecological Anthropology.

Killua plopped down next to him, removing his headphones and shoving them in his backpack. He looked at the students around, realizing he knew little people. It was rare for a student with no major to take such a specific class. He was still figuring out what he wanted to specialize in, but his experience with Kite made him want to try that class and having Gon by his side was another perk. 

"Hey, ready to have your mind blown ?" Gon was already vibrating in anticipation. 

Killua laughed at that picture "I don’t know about that, but I hope so. Not sure botanics and landscapes are my thing though." 

Gon scoffed at him "You’ll still ace that class like all the others… It’s annoying how you get good grades without even applying yourself."

Killua’s chin went on his hand pondering Gon’s words "As if _you_ were struggling. I only get good grades coz I know what teachers want." and it was true. He had a great way of figuring people out in a nutshell. He knew what triggered them and what they expected of him. So he delivered. 

It was almost boring at times and it was one of the many reasons he enjoyed Gon’s presence so much. He was unpredictable simply because Gon himself didn’t always know what he was going to say a minutes before saying it. 

"So I’m flying to Kakin next summer and you should come too."

Like that for instance. 

"Why ?" Killua was both surprised and amused. 

"I’m doing another internship with Ging, he hmmm… he gave me a recommandation letter last year and I sent it to him for another internship. He’s in Kakin now. Digging up what people are saying might be the Lone’s garden. An ancient oasis in the middle of the desert". His smile was reaching his ears at that last part. Gon had so much fun on the field. 

"So you like your old man’s projects huh ?" Killua mused. 

Ging Freecs, one of the top archeologists of his time that was kind of known for unorthodox methods. He was always looking to improve the field as a whole with the use of new technologies and crossing disciplines. Having that guy’s name on your resume opened a lot of doors. Gon didn’t even know who his father was before enrolling at the university and here he was, marching on his footstep without really having known it. It was ironic. 

It all started when professor Kite noticed how passionate and talented Gon was. He was already showing all the qualities an archeologist would need : curiosity, dedication and resourcefulness. 

Professor Kite was an old student of Dr. Freecs and was still collaborating with him on many occasions. Last Year, they were in the south of Talia’s and Kite recommended Gon as an intern for the project. Kite had figured that Gon was his son and made sure he would be okay with that fact, which Gon was _of course_. Adventure and knowledge was always more important than drama for Gon. 

It was actually a rare thing to have been Ging’s student, since he had barely ever deigned to give any classes. Once he had made Kite his assistant, he was hardly at the university anymore, leaving Kite to deal with the classes and only showing up via videos on the field for perks. That’s how famous he was. Only Dr. Freecs could do that and get away with it. 

In South Talia, they had found the sculpture of the goddess of Love Dizia. The similarity with Navia’s goddess of love was ground breaking. Implying that these two countries shared more than it seemed. Even with an ocean between them. 

"I mean, that first internship was great and it did boost my resume. I had a lot of offers after that. But Ging is on a project where archaeobotany could be more than relevant ! It’s a great opportunity !"

Killua smiled at his friend. After all, they have known each other since elementary school and he never mentioned his father once. Now, his name would come up so easily, only Gon would call him Ging. He still didn’t look at him as a father. A mentor at best and an opportunity most likely. 

"Ging wouldn’t have accepted me in the project if he didn’t care for my expertise. I can at least be sure of that. And well, I think you should come too." 

Killua laughed at that "My resume wouldn’t do good, I have no specialty. What would I even do there ?" 

"You are one of the top students ! In multiple different classes too. You have a great overview of things. That’s not nothing!" Gon paused a second as if he hesitated to continue. "And maybe going on the field for once instead of being in a dusty old archive museum will help you decide if Archeology is for you. You need to give it a try."

A long sigh escaped Killua. He turned to the board, expecting Kite to appear and end this conversation. He did need to figure out what he wanted to do with his life and doing _the opposite of what his family expected_ wasn’t a good incentive  anymore. 

Gon’s eyes were burning a whole on his side. He started tapping his fingers on the table nervously "I’ll think about it." He finally said. "Maybe professor Kite could write me a recommandation letter..."

Gon grinned. "I already asked him and he said yes ! If you talk to him after class, I’m sure he can have it ready by the end of the week."

"What ? That makes me sound so lame !" 

"I was asking it for me, but then he was the one that mentioned you’d be a good asset to the team and well, I agreed and took the initiative to ask if he’d recommend you." There was no shame in Gon’s face. Killua couldn't believe what a little weasel Gon was being. 

With fives minutes late, as usual, Kite finally arrived. He wrote his name on the board and said hello in a low voice that quieted everyone immediately. 

Killua took his notebook from his bag and stole a pen in Gon’s pencil case while taking his tongue out as a lame retaliation. 

Gon smiled at Killua’s action. It was typical of him to forget stuff and he understood that his silence was Killua accepting the idea.

\----

And that’s how, a few months later, Killua ended up in Kakin. With Gon, his best friend, Kite his teacher, a bunch of other students and famous archeologist Ging Freecs. 

When he first saw the man, his first thought were _Holy shit_ , Gon really couldn’t doubt his paternity. They had that similar determined piercing look. Olive skin, dark spiky hair and a sharp jaw.

But that’s where the comparaison stoped. Ging looked more grumpy than Gon… and dirtier. Not that it wasn’t expected on an archeologist site to get dirty, but this was their first day. He could have at least made himself presentable to greet them. They weren’t even on the field. 

Ging seemed like he’d rather be anywhere but here, he was clenching his jaw as he was waiting for Kite to finish presenting the general expectations and Ging’s quite long career. The man was sitting arms and legs crossed scrolling at the kids out there who all had stars in their eyes. 

His eyes fell on Gon for a moment. Killua noticed him nod faintly. And then Ging looked at him. Killua held his gaze for a few seconds feeling chill down his spine. He swallowed uncomfortably shifting on his seat and was about to look away when Ging scoffed and went back to looking as annoyed as before.

Kite then turned to Ging asking him if he wanted to say anything. Killua realized then he had barely listened to anything that was being said. He’d take a look at Gon’s notes later. 

He heard Ging bark something back that sounded like "what do you want me to say ?" and Kite patiently gave him a simple response that eventually got Ging on his feet to address the room. Kite didn’t seem phased at all by the man’s grumpy attitude, he looked like he was used to it really. What was up with that guy anyway ? 

Ging had his hands in his pockets and looked around the room, coughed a little and then started. "Yo. So, Kite was the one that vouched for you guys, so I’m expecting you to live up to that." He paused, letting that sink in, "This project is a complicated one… What else do you need to know…" He stoped to think turned to Kite who just shrugged. "Oh yeah, no one uses my shower." He said pointing his finger at the room. Kite rolled his eyes behind him. 

Killua smirked to Gon on the side "he doesn’t seem like he’s using it either." Gon couldn't hold his giggles as he was trying to hush him. 

Ging was about to go sit down when Kite said "Maybe some basic info on recent discoveries ?"

A growl escaped Ging "Well it’s better to talk about that on the field than here like a bunch of tourists." He was obviously wanting this to end this but reluctantly turned back to the expecting students. "Alright you kids. The field is big and we barely scratched the surface. The assomption is that it’s an ancient city from the late Antiquity. By the look of the first images we have it has a Batian’s architectural style, meaning it might be connected to PeeTrya’s ruins. Historians have mentioned a road leading PeeTrya to Kakin thought nothing has been found yet." His voice had become lighter the more he spoke of the project. Captivating the audience, Killua included. He sounded so different suddenly.

"What else… It used to be an Oasis, like most of these cities. Some people think it might be the legendary Lone gardens… Who the fuck knows… People say a lot of crap in this field. " And now he was back to sounding annoyed. "Our job is to dig up the facts. Not presume. So I want you ready first thing in the morning. If you are late, find your own way to the field. I don’t care. I wont baby any one of you. Now go to your rooms, I’m done for tonight." 

Ging took his folders and decided not to bother listening to the rest as he left, Killua heard a student in the front "But it’s only 4 pm."

Kite didn’t react to that sudden skip from Ging. Was it supposed to be normal ? He got up and started explaining where were their quarters and what they needed to prepare for the next day. It all seemed pretty basic and Killua didn’t bother listening anymore. His attention was on that door where Ging disappeared. That man shifted mood on a whim. 

"We have rooms ?" Came a girls squeaky voice that took him out of his reverie. As if it was something odd. Where did interns usually sleep if they didn’t have rooms ?

Killua turned to see Gon who’s notebook was filled with notes. "You seemed pretty serious, you liked that lame presentation ?"

Gon snapped out of his thought "Oh, well, it was vague of course, but I just started writing ideas of mine… And what I needed to add to the list Kite made. Like my herbarium."

"But that’s not _our_ job. We don’t _presume_." Killua was trying to imitate Gin’s tone which Gon giggled at.

They all got up and started moving towards where their rooms were. "So… where did you all sleep last time ?" Killua asked. 

"We didn’t have a place like this. We slept in tents on directly on the field. It’s rare to have such a place to stay in. It shows what a rich country Kakin is, being able to afford building a house for projects like ours. It’s really surreal." He seemed so invested. Killua really admired that about Gon. 

As they walked along the corridor, Killua felt happy he didn’t do other archeology internships. He camped out once with Gon and sleeping on a rocky ground was a painful experience. He was really too urban for this sort of experiences although he did enjoy the hike and the outdoors.

"Killua, you get room number 7" Kite said pointing to the door on the right. He gave him his key and moved on with the rest of the students. 

Gon followed Kite and waved goodbye to Killua "See you at supper."

"sure."

Killua opened the door to a tiny room which was modestly furnished. A single bed, a small wooden table with a chair, a dingy nightstand and a door to a closet. The walls and the floor were made of white stones with arabesques painted on them. It felt dusty but this whole country felt dusty even the plants and trees. 

Killua pulled his bag and started putting his clothes in his closet. He had a small bag with his bathroom stuff that he left on the small study, but he did take out his lube tube and condoms that he quickly put in the drawer. He read about hook ups happening on the field. 

It was a hot day and he decided changing his shirt before supper wouldn’t be a bad idea. 

—-

"So that was your old man earlier huh ?"

Gon nodded a little uncomfortably "I don’t really want people to know." He whispered. 

They were in the dinning room where all the food was being served, waiting in line to get their tray,plates and ustensiles. 

Killua had a disbelieved smile on his face "I’m pretty sure everyone cracked the code. And it’s not like he’s treating you any different. He barely even looked at you…" He let his voice drag, to gage what Gon felt about that. 

"I’m not here because I want his attention." Gon simply said, choosing a table where to sit. 

"I know." Killua paused straddling the bench to make himself comfortable. He unconsciously took a bread from the table and started tearing it apart on his bowl of soup. "He is very arrogant tho, don’t you think ? I mean I guess fame does that to people. He isn’t that impressive if you ask me…"

Gon shrugged. "I think he’s just a shy person." He stopped stirring his soup to look at Killua. "You don’t have to hate him for me Killua. I am fine you know."

Killua looked at the pile of bread in front of him. He turned to Gon, his lips pressed into a thin line. "Yeah, I’m sorry. That’s dumb of me." And he started drinking his soup.

"May I sit here ?" A girl with short pink hair wearing an overall asked. She was cute and looked shy. Gon nodded at her with a smile and seconds later, her friend came to sit too. 

"I’m Gon and this is my friend Killua." He said pointing at Killua who clearly didn’t have the intention to engage in a conversation with them.

The girl smiled "I’m Banana" she turned to her friend "I’m Spinner." The other girl said. She had a more serious look but seemed nice too. "What’s your field ?"

"Botanic archeology, you ?"

"I’m still hesitating between zooarcheology or specializing into Late Antiquity, I’m hoping this internship will help me figure it out." Banana said placing her food in the order she was preparing to eat them. 

This opened up a whole conversation about the new fields and niches in archeology. How tough it was becoming to make your place and how lucky they had been for being selected for this internship with Ging Freecs. The famous archeologist was known to like atypical students with all sorts of expertises. And when Killua looked around, he did realize he didn’t recognize any students from his classes.

The room then fell quiet, Killua turned to see what was happening when Ging arrived and took his plate. He looked around the room spotted Kite and other chief projects and instead of sitting with them, went straight to the corner window and took out his files and started going through them. 

For some reason, this attitude unnerved Killua. Every one was gushing over that man yet he barely had a single consideration for any of them. He saw how each one of them kept looking his way and whispering things. Even Banana and Spinner had stopped what they were doing and seemed fascinated by the man. 

Gon was the only one acting normally, Gon and Kite really. 

He looked back in direction of Ging. How did this guy become so famous ? Sure he looked like he had a sharp mind. 

As if his thoughts had somehow made their way to Ging, the man lifted his head and looked at Killua for a second. Eyeing him in a way that made Killua avert his eyes immediately. 

Banana and Spinner started talking again about their specialities which got Gon excited again. But Killua stayed silent and started playing with his food. Phasing out the conversation around him.

—-

That night Killua was finding himself restless. It had been a long day and he thought that was probably the reason for it.

Before he drifted to sleep, he saw those dark piercing eyes again. 


	2. It’s Not that Deep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just couldn't stop writing so here's chapter 2. 
> 
> Tension is building !

** Chapitre 2 - It’s Not that Deep **

Killua woke up at dawn, having slept a total of five hours at best. In that moment, he hated his alarm more than anything but mustered the strength to get up and get ready. He took his morning kit to the common bathroom where he saw the girls from last night chatting about something. 

"He is so young, I can’t believe he’s already that famous" Banana was saying, her mouth filled with tooth paste. 

"And he is not bad to look at" Spinner mused and took a look at Killua, stepping back to give him some space. "Hey there you, not a morning person are we ?" 

"Not really" Killua started by washing his face. The water was minimal in this region and was stored in a tank on the roof. It was icy cold in the morning and burning hot by the end of the day. 

"I think we should buy one of those scarfs when we get a chance, like the one Doctor Ging is wearing" Banana said looking through her stuff. "I got that advice from a senior." She added to clarify while Spinner nodded at her. 

Killua listened thinking that he wasn’t made for the sun, but he’ll manage. 

Once he was done with his morning ritual, he left the girls to their discussion, crossing the path with some other intern. A big guy with puffy hair and a cheeky smile. He hadn’t had the chance to get his name yet.

"Hey Spin, Banana" 

"Hey Monta !" 

On his way to the dinning table, he found Gon already eating his breakfast. His bag was next to him, all packed up.

"What time did you wake up ?" 

"I’ve been up since 4 in the morning." He said not looking up from his map. "Look, this is where we are going." He pointed to a spot in between what seemed to be dunes and rocky cliffs. "I’ve asked for overview photos, to get a better idea of the geography of the space, they only had ones from last year thought. I wonder what used to grow there…" his eyes were lost in wonder. 

"Who knows. There was nothing there for centuries, if you read into Kakin history, the kingdom is quite recent. Before it was centuries of nomad tribes roaming the lands. The landscape itself was most likely very different." Killua enjoyed having these exchanges with Gon "It’s really a great projet."

Gon took a bite of his toast. He was giddy. "I can’t wait to start !" 

—-

The bus ride was a good half hour of empty desert. Killua was looking outside, his headphones on, at the endless horizon. He had his knee pressed on the seat in front of him. The air outside was still cool, the sun had barely shown its face yet. 

After a while, the bus took a more unfinished road, indicating that they were getting closer. It started shaking uncomfortably but the driver seemed confident they would get to their destination.

Once they stopped, they all got off the bus one by one, and in front of them was a quite large sandy field surrounded by rocky structures. There were a lot of people already on site. Local people obviously from their traditionnel outfits and some foreigner working to help out. A few tents were scattered around and a few hummers were parked. 

It was Killua’s first time on a field, and he knew instantly that this wasn’t a common project. It felt huge and filled with potential. 

He noticed a groupe of Khalkans, the local tribes, sitting around a little fire, making tea and chatting loudly. Amongst them sat none other than Ging Freecs. Blending in perfectly and speaking fluently their language. 

Killua stayed put, looking at him, amazed to see him so enthusiastic, smiling and expressive. And every time someone new arrived, they’d make sure to come to Ging and greet him with a path on the shoulder and a grin. 

"I noticed it too, the first time I worked with him." Gon said next to him, having clearly seen who Killua was observing. 

"Yeah, not the same guy anymore." He said, averting his eyes from him to go get ready for his day. 

Gon followed a few feet from him. 

—-

On the field, Killua was out there working with Gon and two other interns, Monta and Ponzu. They worked in team of two. Two person digging, two person carrying the wheelbarrow out.

There were still lots to dig before getting to the ruins, years of neglect had engulfed the place. It had managed to protect the ruins from thieves and locals who would have used the materials to build their own habitats. They couldn’t blame them, ressources were little and the Kakin government didn’t spare a dime for the tribes. But it still made it harder for archeologist when there was pillage. 

"Are you drinking enough water Killua ? You look a little red." 

Killua rolled his eyes a little annoyed at Gon’s comment. He knew he was pale as pigeon shits but he can’t do anything about it. He was born this way. He did put a dollop of sun screen but he wasn’t sure how good it would help under this cruel sun. They could basically fry eggs on the rocks they were digging out. "I’m fine Gon, I put sun screen and my bottle is right there." He even added minerals in his water.

Gon didn’t have a problem under the sun. He was already naturally sun kissed. He never got sunburnt, he’d only get more chocolaty in the summer. Gon came from an Island that had a lot of mixed cultured travelling by. He suspected Gon had Latin heritage, but there was no way to prove it. Whale Island had the most diverse population in terms of appearances. Yet Gon managed to come out as a replica of his father.Ging Freecs. 

He wouldn’t say it to Gon, but he was sure that the redness of his face wasn’t just due to the efforts and the sun. His eyes kept catching Ging’s and it drove him crazy. Making him loose track of what he was doing. Gon probably thought that his moment of absence were due to dehydration. 

Ging was a little darker than Gon, spending most of his life outdoor as his career suggested. He also kept a scruffy beard and his eyes were different than Gon. Sure they had the same intensity, but Ging’s eyes were more almond shaped. 

He didn’t know if he was imagining things but he did feel Ging’s eyes on him several times. He first thought he was doing things wrong, after all it was his first time on an archaeological site. But Ging didn’t seem like the kind of guy to shy away from putting someone back to their place.

While he was shoveling frantically, his sleeves rolled up, he felt a poke on his bare shoulder. He thought it was Gon again "I drank enough water." He said annoyed only to find none other than Ging Freecs standing in front of him, the guy he just couldn’t escape for the life of him. 

But Ging wasn’t really looking at him, his eyes were on his shoulder "You’re getting sunburnt" he said, poking him again to show the print of his finger on his skin. 

Killua jolted away from him like he got electrocuted. Ging tilted his head, surprised by that strong reaction at a poke. "Did I hurt you ? If so, you better go under the tent to hide from the sun a little." He said 

Killua clapped his hand where Ging had touched him. Realizing in the process how his reaction was stupid and uncalled for. "No. I’m fine, just got surprised." He finally said. 

"Ata Kaleb !" Ging shouted still looking at Killua. 

A dark man came a few seconds later to reach Ging. He had a big grin on his face and slapped his hand on Ging's shoulder "Mister Gings !"

They started talking in the local dialect. Killua could usually follow the general meaning of conversation but his mind couldn’t focus on anything. Still confused about the weird attention he was getting. He caught eyes with Gon who had a _"told you so"_ look on his face. 

He saw Ata Kaleb turn a few time at him and then nodded with a big smile. "Of course !" The Khalkan turned at him. "Come Mister’s Ging pale friend ! Come !" 

Well, that was a title he wasn’t expecting. Was it humor ? 

He felt Ging's hand on his back pushing him softly towards Ata Kaleb. It took all his self composure not to move away from the touch. 

He walked a little faster to follow the Khalkan that was now guiding him toward his installation, escaping Ging’s hand in the process. 

"You have beautiful skin ! You must protect it ! Sun screen… That’s for beginners. This is what real explorers use !" He said showing him a long white scraf made of cotton. Killua took it in his hands and couldn’t say where was the front, the back… What was he suppose to do with it. 

And he found himself getting a weird fashion class with Ata Kaleb who had a lot of witty and funny comments while showing him all the different ways to put the scarf to protect his head and body. He pointed to Killua’s shirt. "Material not good ! Next time, buy this." He showed him a long sleeved skirt made of linen. "This breads !" He said sniffing strongly through his nose to emphasis. "This-" pointing to his shirt again "-is cooking oven, heat stays inside and you cook !" 

Killua laughed at the man’s use of words. For someone who didn’t use english often, he had quite some vocabulary. He would remember to ask tips to the locals next time he travelled. 

_"My name is Killua"_

He said using his language and drawing his hand to shake it. 

That pleased the man greatly as he took his hand with both of his and kissed it. "Killua is a beautiful name ! You are beautiful boy." He was shaking his hand happily. "Your skin, pale like the moon. You look like a prince" Killua felt uncomfortable at that sudden show of affection. "If I had a daughter ! I would give her to you."

Killua burst out into genuine laughter. It was so absurd but at the same time very endearing. He knew this was local hospitality, that people boundaries here were different. But it was still unexpected. 

He remembered Gon telling him how his best memories from South Talia was when he was invited to a whole week-end to stay with a local family. He got to meet all these eccentric people, eat locally and see thing he would have missed otherwise. 

In this tent with this very colorful person, he felt he understood better now how it must have felt. Ata Kaleb was smiling enjoying Killua’s laughter."You and me are friends now ! Ask me anything !" He said using his hands to punctuate each words. 

And that touched him somewhere deep. He never made a friend so easily before. Aside from Gon. 

_"Thank you"_ He said. _"If so, you can also ask me anything."_

The man’s already big smile grew even wider. Something he didn’t think was possible. He took out a piece of paper and started writing his name and number in beautiful curvy letters. _" Anything, anytime !"_ The man insisted. 

Killua took the piece of paper, it had a strange weight to it. It held so much more than letters and numbers. _"Thank you"_.

He looked behind him and back at Ata Kaleb "I need to get back. How much do I owe you for the scarf ?" He pointed to his head. 

"No ! No ! It’s a gift !" 

Well that wasn’t going to do. "I can’t accept that."

"It’s a gift for Mister Gings. Mister Gings very good man, did a lot for us. Everything free for Mister Gings and Mister Ging’s friends." He was shaking his hands, making it clear there was no place for arguments.

Killua thanked him again and kept in mind to offer something to the man. He might feel indebted to Ging but Killua wasn’t a friend of Ging really. Barely a student. 

Once he was back out, he went back to where Gon was. "Looking good Ata Killua !" Gon teased him. 

"This thing is awesome ! How come you don’t have one ?" 

"I do, it’s in my back pack. But I didn’t feel that hot." 

Killua shook his head, amazed at Gon’s heat resistance. He often thought the boy should be studied. His body always reacted differently than normal people. 

He caught Ging’s eyes again but this time he smiled at him. He did help him out and the least he could do was acknowledge it. 

Before getting back to his task, he heard Ata Kaleb strong voice carrying out "AH ! Mister Gings, it’s tea time ! Your friend is a Khalkan prince now !" 

Both Gon and Killua burst into laughters at those words.

—-

The week passed by mostly uneventfully. Killua and Gon got closer to Ata Kaleb who seemed to favor them amongst the other students. He would even bring them little snacks his wife had cooked. There was a few other Khalkans here and there but Ata Kaleb was the only one that was here daily. 

They learned the man was a tribe leader, that unfortunately he never was able to go to school but he was still one of the most cultivated person they had the pleasure of meeting. He knew a lot more than he let on and it was Ging who invited him to be a part of the project. 

Other than that, there were a couple of Kakin archeologists, geologist and anthropologist on the site. Passionate people that had high esteem for Ging and were generous with their time and knowledge with the interns. And then there were some workers who mostly weren’t Kakin citizens. They stayed between themselves even after they had tried to befriend them. They even resisted Gon’s charms which rarely ever happened. 

That Thursday, they had gathered under the main tent for an early lunch and they were sharing their state of fatigue. It wasn’t an easy thing to shovel all day under the sun. But they knew they only had 2 or 3 hours left. The zenith would be unbearable to work under. 

Killua noticed Ging preparing himself to leave after saying a few words to Kite who came to the group. "Ging and the rest of the team are leaving for the afternoon. So they don’t want you doing anything except moving the sand out of the site. We’ll probably finish earlier today."

He notices a few Khalkans leaving too, including Ata Kaleb who waved goodbye before getting inside his hummer. Camels and horses were just for tourist, Gon had told him. Though he did look disappointed. 

Once lunch was done, they were back on the field, shoveling the sand, rolling it out. They had used 3D scanning to get a general idea of the site and it was so condensed with material that they couldn’t afford using machineries to dig out the site. Humans were still the most meticulous being… Until robots would finally take over. Killua thought, wiping a bead of sweat from his forehead. 

Kite came to see them. "Ging called me to prepare a lecture for him." He was scratching his head, trying to look annoyed but he seemed to enjoy doing the more academic part of his job "So I’m going ahead of you. I already talked to the bus driver and the workers, they know you will be leaving in an hour and closing the site. The artefacts found today will have to be put in the cases in the bus luggages. Sorry about the last minute change of plans."

He turned to look around at the group still very actif. "I already made sure every one was okay, I’ll see you later." And he was on his way in the minutes that followed taking a ride with the few remaining Khalkans. He was gone before they had a chance to protest or even ask any questions. 

Minutes before getting inside the bus, Killua went to see the little pieces of mosaic and poteries that had been found. Nothing monumental, but these little objects would still give them some more clues at what they were discovering. 

He saw Pokkle talking to one of the workers and coming back in their direction. 

"Well, apparently, they decided to keep the artefacts here. I guess we can go." 

"What ?" Gon called out surprised. "That’s not what Kite said, we are suppose to take them to the lab." He turned a puzzled look at Killua who was thinking just the same. 

When Pokkle shrugged at them, Killua decided to go see what was going on. He knew enough about the language to make himself clear but decided to stick to english. Keeping that card in hand. 

"Why aren’t we moving the artefacts to the bus ?" 

The two workers, that looked like they came from the little country of Ladsha, exchanged a quick look before one of them turned to Killua with a huge grin "We always keep the first artefacts on the site. Only when a lot, we put in the storage." 

That did not make any sense "Why ?" 

He heard the other say something along the line of _"invent something."_

"These artefact have special meanings for us, we have rituals before sending them to be analyzed."

Well, he would have respected that, if it wasn’t just confirmed to him that it was a blatant lie. What was he suppose to say now ? 

A third guy arrived _"Prince Tserriednich is waiting"_ And he immediately stopped noticing Killua. _"What does the pale guy want ?"_

_"Asking why we are keeping the artefacts"_ he said, fake smiling to Killua’s annoyance.

"I’m pretty sure Doctor Ging said to bring the artefacts back for the lab." Killua tried. 

"Yes, we talked to Mister Ging, it’s okay." 

Killua bit his lips. He didn’t have Ging’s number, but he did have Ata Kaleb’s one. "Well, doctor Freecs is in a meeting right now… But I’m sure I could ask Ata Kaleb to confirm this. He did give me his number."

_"Why would Kaleb give him his number ? Kaleb doesn’t know about this."_

The same guy's smile fell at that. _Check mate_ Killua thought, but he still tried to act innoncently, taking the card Ata Kaleb gave him and slowly typing in his number. 

"No need to call Kaleb, we can leave the artefact today. Maybe misunderstanding happen." 

Killua gave a satisfying smile "Are you sure ? It would only take a minute. Your rituals _do_ matter to us."

The third guy eyed Killua suspiciously before saying  _"Tell him it’s fine. Nothing interesting was dug up anyway."_

"No problem. We help you put this in the bus." 

Killua came back with the artifacts, waving a few people to come and help them. Gon was the first to help and he looked at Killua trying to figure out what had been said. Killua mouthed _in the bus_ to him to which Gon nodded back. 

While they were putting the last of their stuff in. Killua overheard an alarming conversation between the three men that tried to keep the artifacts. He wasn’t sure if that was true… But it was messed up. 

On the way back, Pokkle turned to him. "Dude, that was smooth, but aren’t you going to get into trouble ? I mean, this isn’t _our_ business."

Gon seemed worried at that but Killua simply waved him off. There were taking artefacts and bringing them to that prince he never heard about. The Kingdom of Kakin had many princes, he read, and he knew they all had whims of their own and some of which would get power hungry. But he still believed he did the right thing. 

At least, he hopped so. His thought went back to that last bit of information. 

—-

Once back in their house, they started preparing supper. The first day, they had the luxury of having someone cook for them, as a greeting. But from there on, they were in charge and there was no place for slaking. 

In the middle of setting the table, the groupe heard someone barking in the background and a door being slammed shut. 

Everyone eyes went to the door where heavy footsteps were coming their way. 

"WHO WAS IT !!!" And everyone recognized Ging’s voice. Nothing like the annoyed man from the first day, nothing like the passionate archeologist from the field. _And nothing like the mentor looking out for his intern getting sunburnt,_ Killua thought to himself. 

The door opened with great strength hitting the wall behind it. "Who THE FUCK decided they were allowed to act like the group leader on my project !" Ging shouted at the room. 

Killua blinked, a plate still in his hand. He first asked himself the same thing until it dawned on him that _he_ was the one that took a decision on the spot. _Shit_. 

Gon stayed quiet next to him. Gon wouldn’t betray him right ? But that wasn’t the problem, because practically the whole room pointed at Killua who thought to himself _I really should start making more friends coz that hurt._

Ging stopped a few seconds, not expecting Killua to be the trouble maker. 

So be it. "Follow me." He growled. 

And Killua walked slowly, like he was moving to his death sentence. Every one gave him worried look. Gon even looked at him like it was the last time they would see each other before taking from him the plate still in his hands.

On their way to what he assumed was Ging’s office, they passed Kite who immediately understood the situation. "Ging, the boy didn’t-"

"Shut up !" Ging interrupted him which Kite took with grace and left to go to his students. Probably to reassure them Killua wasn’t going to get murdered.

Ging’s opened the door to his office before letting him in. Killua took the time to make sure this wasn’t the slaughter room before entering.

"So… You think you can take decisions on your own without asking first ?" He wasn’t screaming anymore, but there was a threat in his voice. 

"I had to say something ! They were taking the artefacts !" Killua felt he needed to clarify this. It seemed Ging wasn’t aware of that part.

"That’s NOT the issue here ! YOU do NOT make decision on MY field project !" 

"But-" 

"And the fact that your decision stoped the artefacts from being sold to prince Tserriednich doesn’t excuse you stepping over the line. You are lucky this didn’t escalate any further or I would have made sure to destroy any chances for you to have a career anywhere." Anger flashed in his eyes. "Do you have any idea how you could have jeopardized this whole project ?! This isn’t some exotic vacation here !" 

For some reason, the threat on his career didn’t bother Killua as much as Ging thinking he was acting like a leisuring tourist. "I didn’t-"

"THINK! You damn right you didn’t ! There’s a lot more going on here than just some digging for scientific purpose ! The many Khalkans tribes situation on these lands is threatened daily by the Royal family and politicians. There are many tension with the neighboring countries. They aren’t even keen on the idea of having us dig up historical fact that might threaten their claim on this Kingdom. Our embassy is on thin ice and the only reason they are financing our project is because they want to make economical treaties with Padokea." 

Killua was taking in the whole situation. He knew about most of it, probably not as precisely as Ging seemed to. Probably didn’t know about what happened in the inner circles of the political world. But still. 

"MY reputation does NOT need to be challenged by your need to prove your self ! Know your place kid !" He finally added in a way that meant he was done with his lecture. 

he was now turning to go to his desk to start working on his stuff. Acting like Killua didn’t exist anymore. 

"What about the workers passeport being held hostage by the government ? Is that true ?" Killua asked. That information had haunted him the whole ride back. If he was going to get yelled at, might as well get to the bottom of it. 

Ging looked at him in surprise. There was still anger in his eyes, but there was also questions.

"I learned Ameria’s language before coming on this _vacation_ " He hand-quoted in the air. "I thought it would be useful to know the root language of most dialects in this region.  I prepared myself, I read about the political situation, I know how most thing works here." The words spewed out of him without realizing he was moving away from his initial question. 

Ging wasn’t saying anything. Listening to him intently. 

"Did I understand right what the workers were saying ?" Ging silent was his answer. So the workers were more like slaves huh. He now felt bad for them. But he still thought he made the right move.

"I didn’t get _lucky_." He added."I did think this through with the information I had on the spot. _You_ are the one who shouldn’t have left us in this risky situation. If you don’t want us making any decisions don’t just leave the field for hours with the other managers." He knew he was being too bold. He knew he was in for another lecture about his place. But he was also getting pissed at the way Ging was acting and it did feel good to make him realize he was also to blame for this. 

Ging walked to him in a slow and menacing pace. He stopped only a few inches from him, Killua was afraid for a second that he might punch him right here and there because there was in fact no witnesses. 

But all Ging did was give him a smirk and slapped a large folder on his chest. 

"So you want to take more responsibilities and show you can handle shit ? Here!Read this. I want to know your thoughts by Monday."

Killua grabbed the folder, a dumbfounded look scotched on his face. All the anger and tension had left Ging and flew… Somewhere. It was like all his previous words were forgotten and he had moved on. 

Ging was back on his chair, going through his notes and humming to himself. _What the hell just happened ?_

Killua turned to leave and heard Ging add "10 am. My office."

On his way out, h e took a look at the documents. 

It didn't say it was confidential but it was pages and pages of information from the local government that didn't seem like you would find online with just a few clicks. 

Taking a closer look, he saw all the different deals and negotiations the country was in. Photos and plans on urbanism development, natural energy sources and national expansion.

It was a heavy folder… And Monday is in four days. 

"Should have kept my mouth shut." Killua muttered to himself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know, I'm making a mash-up of lots of different things I've read so on Archeology and Geopolitics ! XD
> 
> This fic is clearly a niche !! XD  
> But I'm surprised to see people giving it a chance and I hope you will have fun reading it !
> 
> Thanks for the kudos, the comments and for anyone who is giving this a chance !


	3. In Situ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while, have been struggling to find time to write.  
> Thanks for giving this fic a chance !!

** Chapitre 03 - In Situ **

"So ? Got an ear full ?" Gon was at his door leaning on the doorframe. He looked sorry for Killua but at this point, Killua was more confused and still scanning through all the documents. 

"Yeah, I guess he was right… I mean, I was meddling into things I didn’t fully understand…" It was a lot easier to confess to Gon than to Ging himself. He would die before admitting he was wrong. 

Gon came closer and took a look at all the paper work. He sat on Killua’s bed, making the mattress bounce lightly under them. "You were right thought in the end. Isn’t that what counts ?" It was funny how Gon was mirroring what he had been saying back there. 

"I guess. But it could have gone very wrong was the point he was trying to make. So now I have to read all of this by Monday morning." He was already tired before having even started. "What did Kite tell you guys ?" 

"Just not to act like smart asses." He gave a little smile at Killua. 

Killua gathered the documents neatly and dropped them on his little desk. He pulled back the chair to sit on it and face Gon, resting his chin on his hand. He then dropped his gaze "I guess I do come across as a smart-ass…" 

At those words Gon took a moment to look around at his room, that was the same as his really, before saying "But you are smart. And I think Ging is challenging you because he knows that."

That made a tingling feeling stir inside Killua’s stomach. He had hated all about the spat he had with Ging. It tugged at his pride. Gon words came like a little balm on his wounded ego, that manifested like a little hope of being somewhere in Ging’s esteem. 

His fingers went across the documents as if he could drain the information just by touching them. "Well, I guess I have a lot of work ahead of me."

Gon got up another smile on his lips, he was happy that Killua was taking it like that. He tapped gently on his shoulder before heading out. "Don’t stay up too late."

—-

The next day, Ging was nowhere to be found, he had been caught up in meetings all day and wouldn’t be on the field, Kite had warned them. 

But that absence was a blessing for Killua who needed to be able to focus on the work in front of him. While all the information that he had read the night before was spinning in his head in loops, too afraid to forget any bits. 

That same evening, the group all wanted to go out to celebrate their first week. The city where they were was a small one at the edge of the desert. The habitants were mostly the scientists community, a few tourists and people from the tribes around that would pass by or stay there a few months. Very few people lived here all year long and the one that did lived off providing basic needs for the people passing by. 

It didn’t have many options in terms of outings. There was one bar situated inside the only hotel of the city. It was the only place in the city that had alcohol, so it was of course the only place people would gather to cool off after a long day. 

Killua was back in his room. Still going through the mass of papers. 

"Aren't you coming with us ?" Gon with Banana in toe had knocked on his door to find him before leaving. 

Killua looked up from his papers, lounging on the bed. He shook his papers over his head "Can’t. Still have lots to read, I don’t know how I’ll get through it all really."

"But it’s Friday night ! You still have tomorrow and Sunday !" That was Banana who was all too excited to go out. Killua had warmed up to Banana, Spinner and Monta the most. Probably because they had that easy-going air to them, but he didn’t really socialize with the rest to make true judgement. Gon somehow already knew everyone’s name, birthdays and favorite dish. 

He rose up on his elbow "I might catch up ?" He offered, not really convinced he would.

Gon took his phone out as if he wanted to test the reception in the room. "Fine, but charge your phone and don’t leave it on silence." Obviously Gon knew all of Killua’s tricks to avoid answering. He still had "fell asleep" up his sleeve tho. 

"Yes!" He smirked back. "I’ll do my best to catch up. Have fun" he finally said, going back to his papers. 

Banana waved goodbye with a smile but Gon lingered at the door. "Don’t drive yourself crazy over this okay ?" He said before leaving. 

Once the door was closed, Killua went back to his reading. 

Half an hour passed with him being fully concentrated on the latest treaty that was made concerning gaz shipments with the neighboring countries when he realized he had been reading the same line three time. 

He scoffed and let his head fall on his pillow. He passed a hand through his hair, feeling tiredness taking over as he groaned on the fabric.

He pushed himself off the bed, thinking he needed to move from his room or else he would end up falling asleep before the sun would even set. 

Gathering his stuff, Killua decided to go sit outside on the porche. The sun was now low on the horizon and the cool wind would be a welcomed feeling while reading.

He felt good about his choice, but when he opened the back door to the house, he saw Ging there, reading and taking notes on papers. Killua had thought everyone was out for some reason. The sight of Ging made him want to bolt out but Ging saw him and gave him a little smile. Now he had to stay because he did _not_ want to look like he was running away from him. 

The porche was wide and had benches all around the railing and had many pillows and blankets made of wool decorated them. Killua went to sit at the opposite side of Ging. He crossed his legs and continued reading the files, trying his best not to look away from his papers.

Ging on the other hand, looked up to find him invested in his task. He had a smirk on his face and went back to his own task.

After a half an hour of them in semi comfortable silent, concentrated on each of their work. He heard Ging get up, hoping that he might leave but he felt him getting near him and when he looked up, he saw the man’s intense eyes again, hands in his pockets. Confidence only a man with his career could have.

He was about to ask what he wanted when Ging simply said. "Come with me." With no explanation, he started walking in direction of the desert not looking back to see if Killua was following. 

_What a pretentious douche._ Killua thought, but he got up and followed anyway. He had no idea what was going on in Ging’s mind, but for some reason, he liked not knowing. Not being able to read him. It attracted him to him, wanting to follow, get the needed clues to understand what made that man so sure of himself.

The sun had fully set but the sky was still grey with hints of pink on the clouds. The air was much cooler and soon it would get cold. Little lizards were crawling away from them as they walked on the sand. The footprints they left were quickly lostas the wind blew them away. 

They walked like that, for a good 10 minutes in a direction that seemed random to Killua. 

He was starting to wonder if this was another scolding that was waiting for him. Or maybe Ging was a psychopath and wanted to kill him and let vultures eat his body. It seemed like anything was possible with this man. 

But suddenly, the desert that was plain transformed into a rocky area. 

It felt like they were walking inside a valley with sandstones cliff stretching their shadows on the sand. Killua noticed the rocs being carved with stairs that led nowhere, as it seemed it had been abandoned centuries ago. 

Killua took a look around, it was strangely pretty, the rocks had different shades of pink, reds and purples when the rising moon would hit on them making it almost sparkle. He wondered if the rocks had quartz in them.

The general effect was a surprise in this large and empty desert. Like tiny stars had fallen from the sky to lay on the rocks around them. He turned to look at Ging, wondering if that was what he wanted to show him. 

He found Ging watching him silently, giving him the time he needed to absorb the view. He felt self-conscious under his gaze, it felt weird to share a beautiful place like that with Ging. Doctor Ging, he chastised himself. 

He coughed shyly "it’s pretty." It came out almost as a question which made him feel that much more stupid. 

"Yeah, Ata Rabat showed me this place. But that’s not what I wanted to show you. Look over there, it’s about to start." 

He was pointing toward the top of one of the sandstone cliffs, a place that unfinished stairs seemed to lead to. He looked up to find a dozen of round stones placed a few feet from one another. Nothing seemed particularly special about those stones except they looked much more smooth than the rest of them.

"Did the Khalkans put the rocks there ?" He asked, noticing that they certainly weren’t there just by luck. 

And then he saw it. Very faintly at first, but little lines of smoke started to leave those stones. It gave the false impression that they were lighting on fire because of their colors being reddish. Killua looked at it in awe, almost as if he was witnessing a magic trick and any blink of the eyes would make him miss the mystery. 

The view around the rocks blurred and it became a mixture of shapes of different colors, floating in the skies. 

"Those are Maruth’s stones. During the day, they absorb incredible amount of heat and when the Temperature drops fast, like tonight, they create that sort of illusion. Khalkans told me they use smaller version of those stones to heat their beds or even boil water. They stay warm until morning." 

"Amazing..." was all Killua could say watching the show in front of him. He noted to himself he’d need to bring Gon here. He’d get so excited. 

Then he thought of something "Are these the same stones that were put on tombs in the Batien’s time ? Didn’t they believe spirits left the earth on cold nights ? Did they think…" His mind was racing at the thought.

"You have a sharp mind. It’s a great quality" Ging smiled at him "but-"

"We can’t presume anything until we dig it up." He said knowingly. He didn’t like to be patronized like that, he didn’t like Ging thinking of him as immature.

"Ah… So you did listen on that first day." He said more to himself than to Killua. 

What did he mean by that ? Killua wondered. Did he have his eye on him on that first day ? And why did it make his heart skip a beat like that ?

"But there is a good chance we will find those stones on the site" Ging continued, not minding Killua’s interrogating eyes. "If we find them, we’ll have to be very observant of what else there is alongside them. Determining the era will be tricky." When Ging talked about his work, it made him look so much younger. There was something so innoncent that would make his eyes shine. 

According to his resume, he had been an archeologist for almost 20 years now, and he still had that excitement for discoveries. Maybe that’s what made him become such an icon in the field. Gon was like that too. 

"The Khalkans believe there are spirits, that’s why they put those rocks there. So they can reach the heavens."

"Why didn’t you explain it to them ?" Killua wondered. 

Ging frowned "Why should I ? This is their lands and their understanding of it is just as valid as ours. Sure, Archeology is a science and if you want to make it in this field, facts are important in order to be taken seriously. But the truth is rarely as simple as facts." 

Killua frowned, waiting for an explanation at that last part. 

"How do you prove spirits don’t exist ? You can’t really. Even with all the scientific explanation in the world. Science’s purpose is to explains the how of things… Beliefs are there to give meaning to people. To answer the big Whys of life. And there are as many beliefs as there are people and cultures. Who am I to impose my beliefs to others ?"

Killua never formed those thoughts in his head, but it all made perfect sense to him. Except the fact that it came from Ging Freecs. The man he saw as arrogance incarnated. He had noticed how his behavior on the field and with the Khalkans was different, but there was still a distance he kept, especially when he knew people watched him. 

But maybe Gon had it right from the beginning, maybe he was more shy than anything. 

"That’s why it’s wrong to presume" came Killua’s voice. That’s why their focus should be on the facts. Because the rest didn’t belong to them. Did it ? 

Ging turned to him, eyes as sharp as ever. Those haunting eyes that visited him at night. A proud smile appeared on his face. Something he wasn’t expecting to make his heart race so fast.

It was going colder now and Killua started to feel goosebumps on his skin. He looked in direction of where they came from, wanting to get something to cover up. 

Ging threw a sweater at him. "You seem to always forget things" he commented. 

Killua caught the sweater with ease and hesitated to put it on. It felt too intimate for him. But the cold took the better of him and he slipped inside it, taking in the whiff of musk and a strange exotic scent that seemed to belong in ancient stories. 

"I wasn’t planning on taking a night walk" he said, a little late for it to be a smart comeback. But he still needed to point it out. 

Ging was still looking at the rocks and then turned at him, taking in the look of that pale boy under a big woolen sweater. A gift he was given by the local tribe. 

The show was now over for the most part and Ging led the way back to the house, hands in his pocket, a hidden smile on his lips. Killua followed him, walking next to him this time. 

He wanted to ask questions, to get to know the man more but refrained. A line had already been crossed in his mind and he was afraid of where it would lead him. Ging seemed to be thinking the same thing as he stayed quiet next to him. 

His phone rang and Killua took it out to see a message from Gon : we are still at the bar for a while if you want to catch up. 

Killua hesitated at that. He still had a lot of reading to do, but he also still had two days. He did want to take a break. "The guys are at the bar, I think I’ll go see them." He said, bouncing his phone in his palm.

Ging nodded, the house was now in sight. "Working on the field is important, but this internship is also about connections."

That sounded hypocrite of him, he always avoided contact, but then again, he wasn’t trying to make his place. He already took a lot of space. Was Ging distance from people his way of giving space to others ?

Inside the house, Killua took the sweater off and handed it to Ging with a soft and shy "Thanks." They eyed each other for awhile before Killua turned to leave, heat building up despite the chills of the night. He stopped in front of the hallway that led to the interns rooms. His left hand into a fist, awkwardly bouncing on his side. "Good evening Dr. Freecs." Like his status was a safe word.

If it had been anyone else, he would have offered him to join them. But he knew to keep his place. 

"Good night Mister Zoldyck" Ging mused. 

—-

Killua opened the door to the bar to find a crowded place that seemed lost in time. It had an art deco style from the 20s, the influence of Ropia’s colonies was all over the place and gave the strange sense of having travelled to the other side of the world. 

He found the group sitting on a long table, pints of beers scattered all over it, with some local snacks to absorb the extra alcohol. 

Gon was chatting with Banana when he noticed Killua and waved adamantly "Hey !!!" His excitement did little to hid his tipsiness. Spinner moved away to give Killua some space to sit next to her. 

It felt surreal to be here after that strange moment he shared with Ging. His mind kept wondering why on earth he brought him there, especially since he made it clear the day before that he had been disappointed in him. 

"Managed to leave your papers long enough to join us huh ?" 

Killua smiled at Spinner, waving the waiter for a pint of brown ale. "Yeah, I couldn’t concentrate anymore." That part was true on many levels. 

When the waiter brought him his pint, he cheered with Spinner’s half full glass and looked at Gon using different coasters to explain something to Banana who seemed really invested, her mouth being a little opened in awe. 

He noticed Spinner eyeing him "They look cute don’t they ?"

Killua chocked on his drink and Spinner giggled at his reaction, offering him a napkin to wipe his mouth. "What ? Gon and Banana ?"

"You don’t think so ?" She still had a smile on. 

After wiping himself, Killua folded his napkin and put it on the side, taking the time to look at Gon and Banana again. Was there anything more than enthusiasm for archeology in their eyes ? He shrugged "I guess ? Gon doesn’t really flirt thought. It’s not his thing."

He saw Spinner put her elbow on the table and crooking her eyebrow. "Not his thing… what about you ? Is it your thing ?"

_Well it seems to be yours that’s for sure._ Killua mused in his head. As much as he found Spinner attractive, he didn’t know if he was in the mood for this. He only had a few sip of his drinks and barely got the chance to talk to anyone. But everyone seemed occupied by whatever they were doing before he got here. 

  
He crossed his arms on the table and smiled back at her "Maybe." He tried getting a better look at her. She had beautiful big green eyes, long wavy pink hair, a little button nose and she always harbored this casual energy around her. He liked that about her.

She seemed pleased whit his answer and leaned in a little towards him. He noticed her eyes being a little glossy and her cheeks being a bit red from the drinks she had that night. "So do you always stir trouble in your internships ? Or is that a one time thing ?"

So she was in a teasing mood Killua thought to himself. He passed a hand in his hair, acting embarrassed. "It’s a one time thing I swear" he offered smiling. 

"And what was it like to be scolded by Doctor Ging ?"

He knew the question was another tease but the question brought him back to Ging, the challenged he offered him with the folders and the scenery he showed him earlier. Just how many different facettes did this man have ? What else would he surprise him with again ? 

Spinner was patiently waiting for him to answer and he suddenly didn’t want to be here anymore. He wanted to get back to his reading and show Ging just how capable he was. 

"That traumatizing ?" Spinner finally said, interpreting his silence. 

He gave her a side smile. "He isn’t that bad."

Spinner didn’t insist and they ended chatting with Pokkle and Ponzu sitting on the other side. 

The whole group stayed at the bar for an extra hour, Killua had taken two shots on top of his three pints to catch up on the group. It loosened him up enough to get a chance to talk to almost everyone, getting to know a few people better, like Stick and Podungo. 

Killua ended up having a great time, the group was a lively one and he knew his stay here would be a great one. 

The alcohol numbing his mind, he exchanged a few flirting words back and forth with Spinner too, having forgotten all about Ging after his second shot. 

By 2 am, they were now all walking back to the house they shared, the streets were silent. They passed an elderly sitting in front of his house, smoking a pipe and meditating on his life. A few street cats crossed the street and Killua noticed one of them missing an ear. 

Spinner had taken the initiative to hold him by the arm, feeling tipsy and overly clingy. Gon was the one with the most energy left in him, he was talking to Pokkle , making him notice the way the stones were carved on the houses they passed. 

Once in front the porch they all quieted, not wanting to wake anyone. 

"Oh hi Doctor Ging" he heard Stick in front of him say and that seemed to had been enough to sober Killua who looked in between the interns in front of him. Findind Ging on the same bench, still with all his paper work. 

He saw Ging eyeing them with nonchalance and suddenly Spinner on his arm felt heavy. When their eyes met he noticed Ging looking back and forth between the two of them and Killua resisted the urge to snap his arm away from Spinner. 

"Hey, kids" he said, making a point to look at Killua with that last word. 

Spinner was oblivious and simply waved politely at Ging and Killua just hurried to get inside, therefore dragging Spinner with him who only giggled at the sudden rush. 

Inside he saw everyone starting to move to their rooms. Gon looked back at him before heading off too and smiled shaking his head. 

Once alone, Spinner lazily put her arms around Killua’s neck who felt more and more uncomfortable. "So ? Do I get a goodnight kiss ?" 

He gently took her arms away from her "I think we are too drunk" and it was the truth. They had drank too much but the real reason, the one he wouldn’t admit was knowing that Ging was only a few feet from him. "I’m sorry."

"I only asked for a kiss." She said, giving him a peck on the cheek. "What a gentleman Mister Trouble-Maker turned out to be."

He smiled at her. She was fun to be around and was glad she wasn’t insisting. He pecked her cheek in return "Good night- hmm- I really don’t have a nickname for you yet."

"What about Miss Cool Girl ?" She said, chewing her third gum of the night. 

They walked in direction of their own rooms. "I think I’ll go with Miss Bubble Gum."

She pulled her tongue out before leaving Killua in front of his room. 

Killua slipped inside, closing the door behind him. The first thing he saw was the piles of papers on his desk followed closely by his alarm clock that said 2:56 am. He sighed and fell fully clothed on his bed. 

He managed to set his alarm to 8:00 am, anticipating he would be using snooze at least a dozen time, before drifting to sleep. 

—-

When Monday came, Killua woke up early, taking a few more last minutes notes before heading with the pile to Ging’s office. 

He knocked a few time at his door before deciding that maybe Ging wasn’t going to grace him with an answer and opened the door. Only to find the room completely empty. 

_Of course_ , he thought, rolling his eyes. He went to sit in front of his desk to wait, taping his foot nervously. 

Minutes passed and when the time on the clock said 10:15, Killua’s annoyance reached its peak and he got up to leave. 

"You aren’t a patient one huh ?" was the only greeting and explanation Ging would give him as he made a gesture toward the seat, inviting Killua to go back to it. 

Killua took a deep breath "you aren’t really punctual." He snapped back, struggling to hide his frustration. 

But  Ging only smirked at his comment "I thought you knew about the local culture, time is a vague concept here. Coffee ?"

Ging walked to the library where a little coffee machine that looked like it was found amongst the artefacts stood. He didn’t even understand how this thing still worked. "No thanks" he replied dryly.

But he found himself being hypnotized by Ging’s well practiced mouvements on the machine. He watches him tap the top of it three times, so it would open. He grabbed a filter that he saw him fold a certain way so it would fit before shutting the top and pressing a good 5 seconds on the button to start it. That machine had its own unique ritual. 

Once the coffee started pouring, engulfing the room with its rich scent, he saw Ging grab the journal and starting to read it, to Killua’s disbelief. 

"Maybe we could start talking about the folder ?" Killua tried, after letting a few seconds pass. 

Ging looked up almost surprised by Killua’s presence "hmm ? What’s the rush ? It’s not like you have anywhere to be."

Killua rolled his eyes and just let himself fall deeper on his chair. Looking around the room to try to find any distraction beside the growing irritation for that man.

The machine made a tired noise announcing that it was done, making Killua wonder if it shouldn’t have been done a century ago. 

That ring kicked Ging back into motion and he got closer to Killua, choosing not to sit behind his huge desk but rather grabbing a stool. He sat down next to Killua with two cups of coffee in hands, sliding one to him.

"Milk ? Sugar ?"

"I said I didn’t want coffee." Killua repeated, marking every word. 

Ging doesn’t say anything and just leaves the coffee next to Killua. 

He crosses his legs and looks at Killua who thinks they will finally talk about the documents "so ? slept well last night ?"

  
And that ticked Killua off "listen man, I don’t know how me sleeping well or my coffee drinking habits has anything to do with what you called me here for. Can we just talk about that document so I can get going ?"

"Impatient, easy to irritate, needs to be recognized… Are you a middle child ? A child with lots of potential that had to rebel against too much pressure from his family ?"

Killua bristled at that "-the fuck !" 

He was this close to smack Ging with the coffee cup when he saw him laugh waving his hand in a dismissive way "Sorry, I’m just messing with you."

Ging straightened up, a playful smile on his lips "I have to say, you caught my eye so I can’t help trying to analyse you. You may think it’s all irrelevant, but every details can say a lot about a person if you know how to look. And understanding your interlocutor is essential in the real world." Killua blinked at him, not expecting this meeting to start like that. "You’ve been observing me too, right ? Tell me, what did you notice about me ?"

That challenging gaze again, pushing him and toying with him. Killua stopped himself from cursing and storming out. That man would switch moods so abruptly it drove him crazy, why was he now acting like this was all a game. Like they were suddenly buddies. 

"I think you are full of yourself."

Ging laughed at his blunt answer "yeah, to be fair I earned it."

"I’m not done." Killua added, finally getting the chance to speak his mind. "You like to destabilize the people around you. You act tough and hard in front of interns creating a distance but if doesn’t work, you try to flip the situation. Like now. But you’re not really asking me what I think are you ? This is still _you_ trying to analyse _me_. Acting friendly, sitting next to me instead of behind your desk. Pretending to put yourself at my level. I think you pretend to make yourself approchable but you are making sure to always keep control. Like how you keep that old machine because you are obviously the only one that knows how it works. Like when you imposed coffee after I refused or how you made a show of your observation skills." 

Ging squinted at him and Killua saw the hint of a smile still on his lips. There was something that wanted to come out from his mouth that he was holding back and part of Killua felt proud of himself for making Ging Freecs interested in him. He smiled by with defiance.

Ging leaned back, eyes still fixated on Killua. He passed a hand on his mouth trying to hide his smirks "You do have potential." He finally says. "So, what about the files ?"

Another change from Ging,  making Killua averts his eyes to look at the pile of folders on the table "I don’t know why I needed to read any of this. There is nothing very surprising or new in this that wasn’t already known. At first, I thought it was your way of punishing my behavior, you just wanting to make me read this during the week-end… But-"

Ging straightened up again, eager to listen to more. Like he had made a bet and he was getting his reward. 

"But that’s the thing. These are official documents, not the ones that are circulating online, the ones that are used intern.And it all seemed too _politically correct_ … My guess is that this is just a front. They didn’t really share with you any plans, they are just buying peace."

Ging took back the documents and went through them superficially, Killua didn’t miss the smile still on the corner of his mouth. He seemed satisfied by Killua’s assumption yet he took his sweet time to give him an answer.

He finally looks back at Killua and his eyes are daring him. "How comfortable are you with danger ?"

"Isn’t the point of danger that it isn’t comfortable ?" Killua dead pins him.

There’s a little electricity that floats in the air. Ging seemed to be enjoying Killua’s smart replies, but as if he realizes something, he switches back into a more serious pose and gets up, staring down Killua "Smart conclusion. But you are mistaking on one thing. It’s not them who didn’t give us the real documents. It’s me that didn’t give you the right ones."

That reveal does make Killua uneasy, chilling him into place. He bites his lips trying to keep his mouth shot at the notion that Ging hadn't been taking him seriously at all from the beginning. His hands gripped the seat underneath him. 

Ging’s eyes were now hard stones and there was no more glint of amusement in them "You are an intern, you are smart and quick to understand issues, but this is still beyond your grasp and you shouldn’t overestimate yourself. What kind of chief archeologist would share confidential documents with an intern ?" Those words had been the whole point of this game, that’s what Ging had been wanting all along and the realization had a bitter taste in Killua’s mouth. "You want to show you can handle things ? Start by gaining experience. Reading books and knowing local languages are just part of your learning process. You have a long road ahead of you-" Ging sounded like he wanted to add a word. _Kid_. Killua thought, feeling the bitterness spread. 

Ging moved behind the desk now, making it clear he was taking back his rightful place.

That last move made Killua snap out of his reserve and got up full of challenge "but I did the right thing back there ! You even admitted it ! Stop acting so superior !"

Ging leans in front of Killua, obviously bristled by Killua’s boldness, invading his space. Killua refused to back off. He didn’t want to give him the upper hand. Not this time. They were mere centimeters apart and Killua’s heart started to race, feeling heat rush to his face. He didn’t stop to question why. 

"I _am_ superior. I am _your_ superior !"

They looked at each other for a moment, eyes locked. Tension building. Killua swallowed hard, looking deep into those dark amber eyes, so stern and resolved. They were intimidating, but it’s something else that makes him turn away and stepping back. 

Ging also backs off. He coughs awkwardly, not having expected things to escalade like that and ending in a staring contest. "I know you don’t like my methods and that you feel this is unfair, but I’m _responsible_ for you, for all of you. Interns, staff and locals."

Killua couldn't look back at Ging because what was rising wasn’t just anger, there was something else between them. He knew Ging felt it and was trying his best to not show his own discomfort. 

His last words seemed to have new meaning all of a sudden.

"Fine, I’m sorry. I’ll keep my mouth shut next time." He lifted his head "Can I go now ?"

Ging nodded, there was no more need for words, and Killua left without looking back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are you liking the tension ? 
> 
> Ging was an ass ! I love that about him.  
> But Killua is just as bad, that little shit ! XD
> 
> Please share your thoughts, It's such a new thing for me, I'm afraid to be all over the place !


	4. Ludus Latrunculorum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ouf !! That chapter has been sitting in my folder for a while and I remember writing like a madwoman...  
> And I was afraid to pick it back up because I was expecting it to be too all over the place. 
> 
> But it wasn't as bad as I thought !  
> The plot moves !

** Chapitre 04 - Ludus Latrunculorum **

Killua woke up that morning with a very vivid image in his mind. One that was clearly the reason of his indisposed situation. 

He slapped his hands on his eyes, rubbing them in the hope of erasing that image glued on his retina. But it wouldn’t go. 

Ging Fucking Freecks. 

That man’s looks, his words, his presence. Everything about him was driving him mad and now he knew why.

That morning in his office, when he was putting him back in his place, when they were mere inches from one another, all he could think about was how he wanted to close that gap between them. 

Those memories did little to make him cool down. 

In an act of surrender, he bit his lips and slid his hand down his boxers. And the only thing that could make him come faster, was to remember as much as he could from his dream. 

—

In the kitchen, he found Spinner making herself some oatmeal and moving to the common cafeteria place. She sat next to a small group of friends and when her eyes crossed his, she gave him a shy smile. 

Killua smiled back awkwardly and turned to open the refrigerator and poured himself some orange juice. 

Ever since that night at the bar, when they came back together, he felt guilty for leading her on. He had wanted a distraction and went along with the flirting but he never stoped to think that maybe Spinner was expecting for it to be more. 

She had been cool and discret about it, didn’t bring it up, but from time to time, she would give him little hopeful looks and he felt his heart getting tighter every time. He’d have to be clear with her. Give her the real reason why he couldn’t go further with her, once he came clean with those reasons with himself first. 

He looked around the room and there was no sign of Gon which was weird. Gon always was the first one up. His bag ready either next to him or next to the front door. 

He decided to take a look outside to see if he could find his loopy friend. 

And on the porch, was Gon and Kite, talking vividly about something on a map. Discarded plates were next to Gon having eaten the amount of food he needed to fuel his morning. 

"I am sure that those seeds couldn’t grow here naturally, it needs a freezing period in order to sprout."

Killua walked slowly to them and they both turned to look at him. Kite had a little smirk on his face that told Killua he knew that his "assignment" from Ging was nothing more than another one of his games. 

But that also reminded Killua that Kite knew Ging for many years. 

"Morning Killua, you look like you had a rough morning ?" Gon asked his smile radiant as ever. 

Killua swallowed awkwardly at that choice of words. _Fuck. I jerked off thinking of your dad_. That wasn’t something he could bring up casually, no matter how close he was with Gon. 

"Not particularly" he said shifting from a foot to another. Shame creeping up his face to tint his cheeks. Maybe it could pass as him struggling with the hot weather even this early in the morning. 

"Join us Killua, I was just showing Gon some of the seeds we found in a phial. I was suppose to show you guys at the lab this afternoon, but he overheard me talk about them and couldn’t stop harassing me to see them now."

That information was interesting enough to distract Killua. He sat down next to Kite and took one of the seeds from his hand. 

"It’s a Lespiadeus, it comes from the mountains, from what I know and what I read, it can’t grow in the desert. What were they doing in that phial ?" Gon explained to him. 

"Were they anything else in the phial ?" Killua asked, trying to join in the brain storming. 

Kite was the one to answered. "Not in the same one, but there were others that are being dig out, same shape, same materials. It’s seems like a big set."

"A Seedbank maybe ?" Gon eyes were shining like a kids having won the biggest price at a fair. "When can we see the rest ?" his voice was now high pitched. 

"Easy there, Gon" Kite said, taking back the seed and putting it in its plastic bag. "We don’t know anything yet. We’ll start with this first one, the team on the field will probably bring the rest later today."

Killua stretched his arm to Kite to get a hold of the bag and look at the artefact himself. He looked at the teardrop shaped seeds that were inside the plastic bag, he counted a dozen of them. "Are these all of the seeds ?" He asked. 

"No, there was many more inside the flask, I only took a sample to show Gon."

Killua hummed, wondering if it was meant to collect or to use. Gon seemed to have guessed Killua’s train of thought and said "It would be odd for them to collect them to use, since they wouldn’t grow here… maybe they experimented ?" 

Kite nodded, accepting the possibility, they had already establish that the Bastiens had great agricultural and irrigation skills. The Valley next to the ruins used to be an artificial river. 

"Or maybe they had another value…" Killua suggested. 

"Like coins… ?" 

"Yeah, this area used to have many roads that crossed it. I remember reading about an ancient city in Siyam, close to hear that used to store knowledge as payment for passagers." 

Gon excitement sky rocketed at that. He knew these were all assomptions, that it was just the tip of the iceberg but he didn’t care. He enjoyed thinking of all the possibilities. Kite was different than Ging in that regard. He wouldn’t feed those assumptions, but he would let them have fun. 

Kite took back the bag and pocketed it as he got up. "Okay you two. I see your brains are working well this morning, now let's get the rest of your muscles in action."

He started walking back to the house, indicating that they needed to get ready to leave soon. Gon and Killua followed and exchanged a knowing smile.

"I can’t wait to analyse them, these seeds look surprisingly well preserved, I wonder if they coated them with something…"

—-

What they thought were only a few dozens flasks turned out to be hundreds of them. Some were broken but most were in great conditions. The group was excited by the discovery and what it meant. Gon’s assomptions were starting to proves themselves right. 

After their first week had passed, the amount of objects that were being found grew increasingly and they would now spend half their time in the lab, making different analysis. A few more experts from Kakin were added to the team to help document all the things and coordonnante the different discoveries. 

Ata Khaleb had started bringing more people from his tribe to help out on the field too. Everyone knew the site was rich and it was expected to be filled with discoveries but it did not diminish the general excitement as each items were dug out. 

The exhilaration of those discoveries made the days go by faster. Gon had quickly become essential for helping identify the different seeds, how they were used, making them realize that the oasis had quite a mysterious archive system. 

But even so, despite the contagious group energy, Killua would always stiffen a little every time Ging would pass by or enter a room. His dreams of him didn’t disappear either. It would only be mixed with desert sceneries and exotic plants. 

He would even find himself lost in thought staring at him, mesmerized by the way the sun would hit his golden skin and his muscle would flex when he would help out digging.

That Wednesday, Ging had organized for the intern a presentation on archeobotany to contribute to their learning credentials. He had invited a scholar friend of his, Cluck, who had a sever look on her face. She started her presentation by saying « I will not allow any interruptions ! If you have any question, wait at the end. » 

That set the tone. 

She then turned to Ging with an annoyed frown "And that goes ESPECIALLY for you ! I don’t care if you are a genius, this is MY expertise !" Ging was sitting next to her and only gave her a cocky smile in response. He didn’t have any of his paper work with him, he clearly intended to listen to her and interject when needed. 

Killua couldn’t help a little smile at that, sure he was still a pretentious douche, but there was something funny about watching him destabilized people. Other than him that is.

Killua was sitting in the front with Gon who didn’t want to miss a single word making them the seats only a few feet fromGing. That closeness was uncomfortable and he wished for once he had brought a notebook to distract himself. 

They crossed eyes and his dreams from the nights before came back to him and he suddenly couldn’t hold his gaze anymore.

The presentation started with slides being projected in the dimly lit room. Cluck commented each one of them and Killua tried his best to keep his eyes glued on her. But there was little he could do not to give himself away that he wasn’t listening to anything, as any sound coming from Ging’s direction, a smirk, a huff, the tap of a foot, would play with his curiosity. 

After a 30 minutes of this, Killua wasn’t only fighting the urge to look at Ging, but also the thoughts that were going crazy insides his head, mixed with the dreams he had. Heat built up and his foot started tapping nervously which caught Gon’s attention. 

"Killua, you are shaking my notes, are you okay ?" He whispered to him. 

And that unexpected intervention from Gon made him break his concentration. "Sorry" he said and when he was about to turn to look back at Cluck, he saw Ging.

  
Ging who, even with little light, had his golden eyes glued on him too. 

He saw him straighten up on his chair only to have his attention back on the presentation. After looking at one of the slides, Killua saw him roll his eyes in annoyance. 

Cluck concluded her lecture with a clap of her hands. "Voilà !" She said and people started clapping slowly at first and when she eyed them in defiance, everyone started to clap harder. 

She had a little satisfied grin on her face and she turned to look at Ging who was folding papers into origami forms."You’ve been surprisingly quiet Ging" Cluck commented "I thought you would interrupt me at least five times." 

For a split second Ging was at a loss of word. His eyes darted to Killua before he got up and said « Well, I kind of fell asleep a little, I guess there was nothing knew for me to keep me awake ». He left before saying. "You have 32 minutes for questions, I’m not paying for you after 9pm."

And he left the room, passing only a feet from Killua who let out a breath when he heard the door close. He heard a frustrated huff coming from Cluck but she refrained from saying anything. Ging was gone after all. 

Gon had his hand raised high next to him, he had, of course, listened intently to the whole presentation, taking fast notes that he would most likely rewrite in a more clean way later that night. 

But Killua wanted to bolt out already. He wondered if anyone would be up for drinks tonight. There was little chance for that, as it was an unspoken rule that they weren't allowed to drink during the week. 

"You there !" Cluck yelled, snapping her fingers at him. 

"Is the floor more interested than me ?" She was a short-tempered woman, he had noticed the minute she walked in but he hadn’t expected her to get so mad a him. "I saw you didn’t even take notes ! If you don’t care about any of this, go get me water, I’ve been talking for an hour here."

Killua never took any Diva demands, but in this situation, it was an opportunity he did not want to miss out on. He left promptly to the kitchen only a door away in the corridor.He first took a glass of water for himself from the water bottle they bought collectively. He had also been feeling dehydrated. He splashed some water on his face for good mesure. 

He finally took another glass to fill for Cluck and turned to leave only to see Ging enter the kitchen, startling him. 

"What are you doing here ?" Ging asked immediately, like he just caught him stealing something. 

Killua froze in place. "I- I was asked to bring water to professor Cluck."He pointed to the glass for proof. 

"That Diva" Ging huffed before going to the coffee machine and pouring himself a big cup. 

Killua sighed but found himself smiling at the comment, he was about to leave without another word before stopping himself to ask "What happened to your coffee machine ?" 

Ging turned to him, an amused look on his face. "It broke again." He simply said. 

Killua nodded, he was surprised at the sudden ease he felt being in his presence. Only minutes ago, he was feeling overwhelmed by the simple idea of him. 

  
He put his hand on the door frame, playing with a splinter  of wood that was sticking out from it, he had been trying to run from Ging all week, and now all he wanted was to stay in this semi-private space with him. 

"Did you like the lecture ?" Ging asked him and when Killua looked up, he almost wondered if he meant Cluck’s lecture or… "You seemed pretty concentrated back there." He added with a smirk. 

He cough, trying to hide his embarrassment. Did he know how little he listened because of how attentive he was to him ? "It was…" He started, trying to find something intelligent to say. "Honestly, I couldn’t listen to anything." giving into the truth and facing Ging dead in the eyes. 

It wasn’t clear why Ging had asked that question, if he knew that Killua hadn’t listened to anything, if he was intentionally pointing it out or if he was sincerely wondering what were Killua’s thoughts. But either way, his answered wasn’t what Ging had expected. 

_Please ask me why._ Killua thought to himself, unsure if he had the courage to answer the question. 

Ging took a moment to look at Killua, his eyes flickered at him, thoughts obviously passed through his mind, a mocking comeback ? A reproach ? 

A confession ? 

But Ging didn’t comment anything on that. He still had his piercing eyes on him and said "I wouldn’t make Cluck wait for that glass of water if I was you."

Killua nodded again, took a small step back before turning away and heading to the living space turned into a conference room, his heart pounding in his ears.

—-

That night, Killua actually formed the words in his head. " I have a crush on Ging Fucking Freecs." It was one thing to find him attractive. But now it was becoming harder not to see that it wouldn’t just go away by jerking off once or twice. 

He craved more of him every time he would cross his path or his eyes. His damn beautiful dark amber eyes. His chocolate skin, the way he talked about his work, the way he had smart comebacks. Every time he would think of him, he would feel a burning fire inside his stomach. 

That night, he had the suffocating desire to see him open the door to his room, to appear in front of him and appease that fire. 

He turned on his side, facing away from his door, frustrated with himself. 

He thought back at his small encounter with him in the kitchen. How easily it would have been to just close the gap between them and kiss him. 

His eyes back then, when he told him he hadn’t listen to the lecture. There was something in them that his delirious self wanted to interpret as a reciprocated desire. 

—-

Killua took the habit of staying longer at the Lab with Kite and Gon who would sleep there if he could. 

Their housing being only a short distance by food from the lab made it easy for anyone to stay later if they wanted to. Most of the interns would head home. Sometime a few would stay longer with them, but most of the time it was the three of them. 

He actually found it a peaceful time away from everyone. Even if he had grown to enjoy their presence, it was nice to have that moment at the end of a day to push discussion further with professor Kite who took the time to answer their buzzing question. 

That evening, Killua was examining a phial with Kite. "I think I saw those symbols on the stele we discovered yesterday. Do you think they have meaning or are just decorative ?"

Kite looked closer. "Could be either, let me see." He took a closer look and then went to find the picture of the stele to find out if it had any patterns to them. "It’s does ressemble cumerians writing in some ways… But it’s hard to tell just by a photo."

Killua took another photo and then went back to put the phials in a certain order. Kite observed him, amused at him showing some actual passion for this. After letting Killua play around for a few minutes, the intern turned to Kite "I think it means something…" He whispered. 

And that made Kite's amusement turn into intrigue. He came to look at Killua’s weird arrangement. He frowned taking it in. 

"Interesting."

They stayed longer that evening working on trying to understand what it could mean. They had determined that it was most likely a classification system, Gon had helped them figure out the connection between the plants that had similar symbols. "If only we had a linguist on the team." Killua offered. 

Kite laughed. "Linguistic is one of Ging’s many expertise actually. If there isn’t a specific expert on the team, just assume Ging will know." 

Killua felt some form of awe at that statement, like he needed another reason to be gawking ove Ging. That man had been able to read the stele almost immediately. God, he did have bragging rights, that bastard. 

He felt Kite eyeing him from the side "I think you should present your theory to Ging, I think you really are on to something."

There was opposite impulses inside Killua’s heart when he heard that suggestion from Kite. Part of him wanted to jump at that occasion, to have a privileged moment with Ging and share their thoughts, hoping to witness that magnetic fascination in his eyes. And then part of him was scared, of sounding amateur, of being vulnerable, of succumbing to his need to get close to him. 

"I don’t know, maybe you should show him, I don’t think he’d take me seriously."

Kite seemed to understand him "I see he has shaken you huh." If only he knew. "I know he was rough with you, but Ging doesn’t push people he doesn’t have high esteem for."

Killua shook his head no. He was too scared to believe him. 

"Killua, I don’t know why you doubt yourself so much, trust me, I know Ging. He likes you."

Fuck. 

Kite didn’t realize what he was saying. How these words were important to him. Something he didn’t realize he was yearning for until Kite offered him a hope. He narrowed his eyes on the flasks aligned in front of them. 

Even if he knew Kite didn’t mean in that way, it still felt good to hear he wasn’t just an ordinary intern. It still made his heart swell. 

"Fine, I guess I can talk to him about it… when tho ?" 

"Ah! I suggest you prepare yourself better, push those research more, there’s still some elements missing and you know he will be pointing them out."

Killua nodded this time and took a few photos he would need to push his research more. Gon would help him, maybe Lin too, he had a good mathematic brain. 

Two days later, Kilua shared his idea to Ging. He had been anxious the whole day both about presenting his idea and being alone once more with him.

But Ging seemed composed and looked at him then a the pictures. "Well yeah, of course these are codes." He took a better look at the first picture "See, that represent healing." He pointed to the pictures. 

Killua was dumbstrucked and kind of annoyed. "Wait, you knew ? How did you know ? You weren’t even in the lab these past days."

Ging got up amused by Killua’s surprised face. "I didn’t need to be in the lab and look at each flask, I know cumerians language. I read it fluently. It was obvious these forms had meaning, I recognized some of them. Tho I didn’t look into it more."

Killua felt defeated by Ging, like all this work was done for nothing. He started grabbing the photos to get out of here. Annoyed by the situation. 

Ging reached at the same time to grab a photo and their hands touched, freezing Killua into place. They both stayed like this for a few seconds before Ging recovered first, taking the photo and examining it. 

"But, I didn’t notice the classification aspect, that type of organisation, it’s very reminiscent of the Nicien’s way… Hmm… This place might have been a precursor."

Killua still had his fingers on the other photos, playing with them, the ghost of a touche on him. He slowly pulled back, not knowing why he was here anymore. He should leave. 

"It’s organized through elements, water, sand, ice, rocks, clay… interesting choices…"

"Agricultural elements" Killua said in a low voice. 

Ging gave him a quick glance before going to get a book "Yeah, that would be it. They classified it with what element made the seed sprout…"

Ging showed an opened a book in the Khalkan language. "Can you read it ?"

"Yeah, slowly, but I manage."

"Look" he approached him with the book and Killua’s whole body reacted to his presence. He couldn’t help all his senses to go on over load. His eyes looked at those calloused fingers on the image he was pointing at, his ears were buzzing with his soft breathing, his nose took a whiff of that mystical smell that was so unique to Ging. 

God he wished he could touch him, how absurd it was to have this obsession for this man. 

"… maybe a form superstition" Ging said. 

"What ?" Killua didn’t listen to any word. He felt intoxicated. 

"Are you okay ?" Ging asked him, he spontaneously put a hand on Killua’s forehead to check his temperature but when their eyes met, he retracted his hand immediately, taking a step back. 

Ging felt it too didn’t he ?He was avoiding his eyes now, walking to the library to put his book back. Killua stepped forward like a magnet pulled him towards Ging every time he took a step back. 

"We can talk about all of this tomorrow with the group, everyone should participate." Ging turned back to him, acting like nothing happened. Had he imagined it ?

He went to take the photos and left with a soft and polite goodbye. 

—-

The next weekend, Kite and Ging had organized an outing in one of the big city near where they were settled. It was planed that they would have those tours to visit cities that had massive monuments or interesting museums.

The one they were about to visit, Lepia, was famous for its ancient market that was a labyrinth of shops between old rampart made of beautiful white pinkish stones. 

As they came out of the bus, they were immediately enveloped with the smell of different exotic spices, the singsong chattering of the locals and the striking colors of their attires. This cities showed much more opulence than the small village they had been living in. 

Gon was taking photos by Killua’s side, like a few of the other students who were all excited for this change of scenery. "Look Killua !" Gon was showing him the beautiful photo he took of a colorful bird that stole a mango slice from a stand. "I’ll have to search for what type of bird this is."

They spent the late morning as a group, walking in the most opened area, getting to taste all sort of fruits and delicacy they never knew existed. 

Ging seemed to be recognized by a few people here and there and would get some free samples to share with the rest of them. 

After lunch, Kite explained to them that they were free to wonder around and they had to be back by 2pm, most shops would close in the afternoon because of the heat and would reopen once the sun would sink further in the horizon. 

Gon took a liking to a carved wooden box and started negotiating with the shop keeper. He seemed good at it and Killua looked around to see every single intern walking away in pairs or small group. 

"Can we join you ? We aren’t really looking to buy anything" Banana and Monta asked them as they approached him, Spinner had gone along with Ponzu and Pockle. 

Gon had came back to them with his prize in hand, showing it with pride to the groupe. 

Behind Monta’s broad figure, Killua saw Ging march through an alley that seemed to lead to the city. 

In a stroke of courage, Killua decides to follow Ging, leaving the groupe and telling them he’d would catch up with them later. 

As he walked in between the small shops, he noticed people looking at him with big eyes, he knew his looks were a contrast here. His pale skin and sandy white hair were rare enough where he came from. As he made a bee line in the crowd, he heard a few marchant addressing him, trying to sell him jewelry or spices. 

But Killua had one destination in his mind, and one only. 

He somehow lost view of Ging through the crowd, bu he looked in the direction or where Ging went. And in a glance he figured exactly where he had entered. 

Killua was standing in front of a rusty café where he spotted Ging sitting on a plastic chair with a local, a game of latrunculi was dressed in between them. 

For a split second, Killua was about to rethink his impulse when the waiter came to ask Ging his order and that’s when he saw him at the door. 

"Two coffees" he said, going back to his game.

Killua understood that this was the best he would get as an invitation to sit with him. He took a seat in between the two men. The other one, a dark skinned man with a bushy mustache gave him a welcoming smile.

Killua stayed put, awkwardly silent, looking at Ging play a few games, winning most of them. No one talked during those long minutes. 

Killua had learned that game with his brother, Milluki, who was a geek for board games, and found himself invested in the tactics that were being used in front of him.

Ging’s intelligence showed once again as he easily outmatched his opponent another time. The man with the mustache started laughing turning to Killua "this man is ruthless !"

He already knew.

He waived the waiter to pay him for the whole table's drinks w hich made Ging voice out his frustration "Tala! It’s on me."

"My country, my rules !"The man said, his hands raised in a defying manner. 

They fought back and forth until Tala said "you are going to take my pride twice ? You already won, let me pay !"

At that, Ging gave up and simply thanked the man. 

For a second Killua forgot that he had also been drinking. A small coffee, long forgotten. But still. 

So he offered his thanks. Feeling stupid for not offering to pay too.

Tala shook Ging’s hand and hugged him and then waved at Killua. His white teeth flashed against his dark skin. 

Once he was gone, after paying for the three of them, Killua asked "should have i offered to pay too ?" He said trying to break the ice. 

"He wouldn’t have taken you seriously, you’re too young." Ging answered him without looking at him. 

Killua swallowed. _Ruthless_ Tala had said.

"Are you going to ask me why I’m here ?"

"Don’t need to, do you know the rules?" he said gesturing to the game.

He understood this meant that they weren’t going to have an open conversation. This game would be their buffer.

"Yeah" he wasn’t any good at it but he had been observing Ging and Tala’s style and had been able to anticipate Tala's final loss.

They placed all the pieces back to their starting point. "You first" Ging said. 

And killua moved his first piece to unknown territory. Ging responded with a soft smile, something new he hadn’t witnessed before. 

Was he imagining things ? Was he just crushing stupidly on this man ? Did he want him too ? Or was he playing with him. Enjoying to see him burn for him under his eyes.

Cruel like the sun in the desert where there was no shadows to hide under. 

He really was under his mercy.

"What are you playing at ?" Killua dared to ask. He had been through all sorts of feelings ever since the beginning of his internship and Ging had been a confusing persona. 

" _We_ are playing latrunculi." He said matter of factly.

"You know what I meant."

"You know why I’m pretending not too."

Killua sighed and went back to the game, moving another piece. 

After a while, it was obvious he would lose the game. He wasn’t skilled enough to stand a chance in front of Ging but he knew enough to see his inevitable downfall.

Thinking he might as well risk it all, he placed his last soldier pawn in a bold spot. A place where it was menacing his king yet would easily be taken out.

"I like you" Killua blurted out, His eyes were glued on the board. 

A heavy silence fell on them in which none of them moved an inch for long seconds.

He felt just as vulnerable as the pawn he had just placed. The wait to see if Ging would react to his move was excruciating. His heart was pounding in his ears.

He then saw Ging’s hand move in slow motion in front of him, but instead of taking the soldier earning him an easy win, he moved his King away. 

Killua felt his heart sink to the bottom of his stomach. Hating himself for being in here in the first place. 

After just a few moves, Ging had won the game, the soldier was still on the same spot on the board, untouched. He had found the way to circle around it. 

"You better get back to the groupe" Ging said. The softness in his voice made killua look up at him. Ging was placing the pieces back in their boxe looking uneasy.

He understood the situation and had expected Ging to push him away but not completely ignore him. "Are you mad I came here ? That I said anything?"

Ging finally took the soldier, the last piece on the board "no." He answered flatly. "I’m flattered.". He closed the box carefully before meeting his eyes.

Killua was hopeful for more, but nothing came. Ging was done.

He got up, thinking this was the end of it, but somehow his resolve hadn’t faltered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha!!  
> Killua said it first ! It made sense to me that he'd be the one to make the first move. 
> 
> I wanted to read more on archeology and play with more accurate facts, but I'm sorta inventing at this point otherwise I will never be able to finish this fic in this century... So I hope its not too weird ! 
> 
> Let me know your thoughts !!  
> And thanks for reading and kudoing !!!


	5. Strata

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me a while to come back to the story and I now have almost 15k written !  
> So I cut it all into chapters and here is chapter 5 !  
> (the next two are mostly written, just need some/a lot of editing !) 
> 
> Hope you enjoy !

**Chapitre 05 - Strata**

That evening, the teens hung out amongst themselves in the living room and cracked some beers. Their professor, Kite, had booked a hostel for all of them and since the place was small, they were practically the only ones there. Only a single backpacker was sitting on his own next to the library shelves and didn’t seem bothered by them being loud and taking basically all the place.

They all showed each other what they had bought and bragged about how they negotiated for their items. A few had bought some delicacies that they shared immediately with everyone.

Killua found himself unable to join in the conversation. He kept feeling like shit for his earlier talk with Ging… Having told him how he felt and basically being ignored. Worst… _"I’m flattered"_ he told him. Like this was nothing but a kid’s silly infatuation.

He tried to listen in on the anecdotes that were being told but his eyes kept darting to the rooms they shared. He was getting tired of pretending he was fine and just got up excusing himself, claiming that he’s too tired and left them to start what seemed to be a game of cards.

He had played too many games by now.

Inside the dark room, he took the bottom bunk bed at the left corner. No one had really claimed any beds yet and he hated to sleep on the top beds, they were too squeaky for his taste. He wore an old t-shirt and some boxers before finally lying down, pulling the covers over himself, the air conditioning had been working non stop and the room was surprisingly chilling.

He forced himself to tune out the thoughts spinning in his head and to sleep it off.

—-

Killua woke up in total darkness, feeling a little lost as to where he was. He heard soft snoring, multiple ones and immediately recalled he was in the dorms. They were still in Lepia city.

He grabbed his phone to look at the time… 3:18 am. He groaned in disbelief, thinking he shouldn’t be surprised since he went to bed a few hours earlier than his normal time.

After turning a few times, changing position to try getting more comfortable for round two of his night, he eventually came to the conclusion that he wouldn't be able to fall back to sleep so easily. He knew from past experiences that the more he would try the less it would work.

Killua decided then to just get up and accept defeat. He took his phone thinking he could read some news from Padokea back in the living area and maybe make himself a chamomile to lull him back to sleep. 

The hall was dark and had a few stripes of moonlights that guided him to the living room next to the open small kitchen. He noticed immediately the little lamp on the kitchen table and he cursed inwardly his damn luck when he spotted Ging sitting there, his signature stack of papers with him.

The urge to just run back to his bed ran through him but he knew the opportunity was lost now that Ging had looked sideways, noticing him too. Although his body didn’t flinch one centimeter and something about that made him even more mad. How can he act so detached after what he had told him ?

As he walked the few steps to the kitchen counter, Killua made himself as scarce as possible and started pouring water in the kettle, trying to avoid looking in Ging’s direction in the process. While he waited for the whistling of the kettle, he took out a mug and tried to fetch some chamomile to help him sleep.

After looking through all the tea bags and herbals boxes, he huffed in annoyance not finding what he was looking for.

Then out of nowhere, an arm passed on his left and grabbed a herbal bag making Killua jump a foot to the side. He had been so invested in his quest for chamomile he hadn’t heard Ging getting up and was now mere inches from him.

_Get a hold of yourself_ , his mind screamed at him. That proximity was making it hard for him to process what exactly Ging was doing but he saw him holding a paper bag and opening it. 

His mouth curved just slightly upward. "Sorry, I tried to cough to warn you but you didn’t hear me" Ging said, he pulled the bag closer to him and smelled it. Killua noticed his damn amused eyes and he couldn’t withhold frustration getting to him. Ging knew far too well now the effect he had on him and the bastard enjoyed it. Didn’t he ?

But before he could manage to answer that question himself Ging handed the herbs. "This will work better than chamomile. It’s Yansoun, it’s a seed that is used for many medicinal virtues, including insomnia."

Killua blinked at the bag, taking in the licorice smell of it. He took it slowly without losing eye contact with Ging. "What makes you think I’m looking for something to sleep ?" He snapped back at him, hoping it didn’t make him sound childish.

"Just a hunch I guess…" He said with a small smile. "It’s the first time I see you in the middle of the night" he adds, suggesting that Ging was often out in the night himself.

The kettle whistled and Killua broke his eye contact to take it off the stove and pour himself his herbal tea. He heard Ging go back to his papers while Killua stayed a few minutes, awkwardly, wondering if he should go sit on the couch away from him.

"You can sit on the table if you want, as long as you keep quiet."

Killua frowned at that last comment. He probably meant it as to not disturb him with his work, but he couldn’t help thinking back at the last time Killua didn’t stay quiet and probably overshared.

But he took his offer and sat opposite to Ging, sipping slowly his herbal tea and blowing on it a few times to try to cool it off. The taste was pleasant and it managed to relax his beating heart too.

In between sips, Killua found himself observing Ging concentrating on his papers, writing little notes in the margins. Sometimes he even scratches whole paragraphs of texts in a frantic manner. He wondered what kept this man so busy all the time as he let the little movements of Ging’s hands hypnotise him. After a few minutes of spacing out, he realized they weren’t moving anymore.

And the reason was Ging had stopped what he was doing to look at him, making the heat rize up Killua’s face. He promptly looked down on his herbal tea and mumbled a sheepish "sorry."

"I don’t mind" Ging answered him before going back to his papers.

Killua rubbed his thumbs on the hot drink, enjoying how the warmth of it travelled through him and he wondered if it would feel the same to touch Ging’s body. He bit his lips, feeling ridiculous to be thinking that so shamelessly in front of the man in question.

But there was no denying what he wanted, to catch his eyes again. Killua looked at the dark liquid in between his hands as if it would help him figure out how to grab his attention again. 

"Would it be so wrong for you to admit that you also like me ?"

Ging didn’t move and for a second, Killua thought he hadn’t heard him but he then saw Ging look sideway before meeting Killua’s eyes. He let out a sigh "I do like you, you’re a smart student, a little too bold for your own good, but that’s not necessarily a flaw."

Something about those words felt so distant. It would have made any student happy to hear but he didn’t want to be anyone. Not to Ging. He wanted Ging to want him just as badly as he wanted him. He wanted to prove to the man that he was kidding himself if he too didn’t have an ounce of desire for him.

Before Ging could go back to his paper, Killua decided to act on the boldness that Ging claimed he had. He got up and walked closer to Ging, abandoning his herbal tea behind him "Is that really what you think when you look at me ? Smart and bold ?" Maybe it was the darkness of the night that gave the illusion that no one else existed, that they were alone in the world, allowing him to find the courage to say this and to get closer.

He was now dangerously close to Ging and he could feel the heat coming out of his body, Ging looked up to him, moving as slowly as possible like he was afraid to startle Killua into action. If Ging wanted him, he only had to reach out and grab him. 

The time it took for Ging to turn to him made Killua fidget slightly on his feet. He felt like a fragile leaf about to be taken away by the wind. His hands closed into fist to try to convey the assurance he was feeling fleeting him by the second under the older man’s gaze.

If he had stepped back just now, he might had missed it, the little pink hue rising up Ging’s cheeks and his eyes… growing darker now, like melting chocolate. That’s all it took for Killua to get his confidence back and he couldn’t hold back a faint smile.

He saw Ging’s hand move to reach him and Killua felt his heart grow inside his chest as heat gathered inside him in anticipation. The hand stopped flat on Killua’s chest, pushing him gently away from Ging.

"Killua" He started, his voice was a mere breath as he got up to be at the same level as him. Ging wasn’t a tall man, he was barely an inch above Killua, but he was imposising when he needed it to be. "My opinion is irrelevant, I’m twice your age and _this_ can’t happen."

_So there was a "this."_ Killua thought taking in the seriousness in Ging’s eyes, there was no more playfulness now, Ging couldn’t afford a misstep and to not make himself clear.

Killua’s eyes went a few inches lower down to look at Ging’s lips and the desire to crash his own on his was making him dizzy. But there was one thing that he wanted more than those lips and it was Ging admitting he wanted him.

He leaned in closer to Ging knowing that the man’s pride would stop him from stepping back. They had this in common. "What exactly can’t happen ?" He said, tittering him with a cocky smile.

He saw Ging’s Adam apple bob up as he swallowed hard and another hand reached Killua’s chest, he pushed him gently once more. "Don’t play that game with me, you’ll burn yourself." His voice wasn’t as firm anymore but his words held a warning.

"That’s my mistake to make."

Ging shook his head a mysterious smile appearing on his face "Of course you would think that." He said going back to his papers. "Your herbal tea is getting cold."

Killua stayed a few heart beats there looking at how Ging had once more skirted him. Even though he understood why he was doing so, it left a sharp taste in his mouth that a herbal tea wouldn't wash away.

He went back to sit on his side of the table, the heat left by Ging’s hands on his chest was still there, like it left a mark. His herbal was now tepid and he forced himself to take a few more sips before putting the half empty mug in the sink and leaving to his bunk bed.

—-

On the ride back to their housing, Killua played the last events in his head. How he confessed his feelings to Ging, how he even tried to seduce him that same night…

There was no denying anymore, he really was falling hard for him to the point where he couldn’t brush it away and was even acting irrationally. And even thought Ging kept his distance, it was now obvious he wasn’t indifferent to him either.

All these times he had caught him staring at him and most recently, how he reacted by his presence the night before…

Ging never said he liked him back, but he also never clearly voiced out he didn’t want him too.

He was the project chief afterall and it was clear that Ging was trying to keep a professionnel distance between them. _"t can’t happen."_ He had said. Not " _I don’t feel the same way."_

He dropped his head on the seat in front of him. Tilting it slightly to get a view of the passing buildings. They were still in Lepia city, going through more modern areas that didn’t have any of its historical charms. People wore fashionable clothes that looked like they came from the same brands they found in Padokea.

People probably didn’t care about tradition in this area... didn’t care about wanting to be unique... they wanted to be normal... to fit in with the world.

Why did that make him sad ? Why did everything have to blend? To conform ?

What did it matter that Ging was twice his age ?

Nothing about Ging made him seem like a man who would conform to rules and expectations... Yet he pushed Killua away. Not because he was indifferent... but obviously because he didn’t want to risk... what exactly ?

Why did he insist on treating Killua like he wasn’t making his own decisions.

His thoughts slowly transformed into frustration. He had nothing but admiration for that man... yet even so he would find himself discontented with everything he said and did... Especially when it came to him, _Killua_.

The way he had said his name came back to him, bringing chills down his spine. He so wanted to be with him again, hear him calling him, wondering how his voice would sound if they would ever find an intimate moment again.

"Did you find what you were looking for Killua ?" Gon asked him, startling him out of his fantasies.

Killua straightened up, slapping his hands together trying to snap himself out of his thoughts. He couldn’t hold back a sense of guilt for feeling like this about Gon's biological father. Would Gon understand if he ever told him ?

He saw Gon raise an eyebrow at him and Killua tried to find an answer to his question. "I’m not sure" he said, vaguely aware that it wouldn’t make sense to Gon.

Gon frowned, a silent demand for killua to be more specific.

Killua passed a hand over his bangs to clear his face. What was he supposed to say now ? "I didn’t buy anything in the end so it doesn’t matter."

Gon stilled, seeming puzzled but didn’t push the matter. "Well maybe on another outing then ?"

Killua sighed, he wasn’t sure he could let things stay like that for that long. His eyes found Ging’s form at the front, leaning on the window and not engaging with anyone.

Was he also rethinking the earlier events ? Would he ever know what happened inside the head of that man? Was there any part of him that took him seriously when it came to his feelings ?

"Yeah maybe" he said. No longer sure himself what the subject of their conversation was anymore.

Going back to his thoughts, Killua wondered how he would look at his younger self in the future. At his time in Kakin. Would the place be filled with memories of his first archeological experience or would Ging’s eyes and words haunt him in every corner ?

That question felt futile. His trip was already tainted by Ging’s presence.

—-

When the bus finally arrived at their house and his foot touched the ground, Killua knew that everything would be different from now on.

Now that he put his feelings on the table, literally, everything would shift from a game of hide and seek to a play in which they both would act as if there wasn’t something between them.

The next week was nothing more than pure torture. The weather was particularly hot and two interns were sunstroked which forced them to stay on bed rest. Everything had slowed down, even the workers and locals were struggling to keep up and so Kite and Ging decided to change the ratio field/lab for the next few days.

They would now only stay two to three hours in the morning on the field and the rest either in the lab or have some workshops organized by a scientist.

But the real challenge for Killua was trying to keep any composure. His heartbeat alone was out of control when Ging was with them in the lab, feeling constantly self conscious. 

Whenever Ging explained something to the group, he would find himself undressing him with his eyes trying to imagine the rest of his defined muscles and of course he would have to avert his gaze quickly before anyone noticed him getting flustered. Fortunately for him, everyone was always just as captivated by Ging and his speeches, and no one cared that he was barely able to keep himself focused.

Ging was also trying his best to avoid getting near Killua, whenever students were needed for a task, he would make sure it wasn’t him that was called. Even though Killua was relieved by it, he still felt a pinch of envy whenever Ging was close to another student explaining something or asking for help.

The only thing that eased Killua’s mind was that the project itself was moving rapidly and Killua found himself getting passionate by the discoveries. He would read every night on different parts of the Kakin history and about the recent political issues the royal family found themselves in. He would read until exhaustion took over and he fell into deep sleep with a book in his hands. It was the only way he had to not have to deal with Ging in his dreams too.

The city, that was called Azurlo, was from somewhere in between 150 BC to 100 AC, which fit with the Batien’s times and the golden ages of caravans travels. It also fit a missing piece in that famous road that was used to accommodate international commerce.

They had also found some rampart foundation making it possible to have a better sense of the topography of the site. The map getting more detailed bit by bit, but they had maybe only worked on 3% on the overall site. They used other famous cities to try to see if the general urbanism of the site had any similarities but it seemed the city of Azurlo was very unique on more than one level.

The Kakin empire claimed to come from the last Batien’s prince who reigned on the whole continent, but he was exiled and the region was submitted to the Manian’s empire. The city, after having some Manian regents rule it for a few decades, slowly became less funded and was eventually abandoned as the naval industries proliferated, opening new roads to commerce.

What got Killua most invested was the contradictions in cultural interpretation. When he was on the site, he would often ask Ata Khaleb about what he read and the old man would shake his head more often than not. The Khalkans were also known to come from the Batien’s dynasties, but when the oasis got abandoned they became nomads and relied on oral tradition, there was little about their history in writing form.

The most interesting contradiction was how they believed society was structured. Khalkans believed that the Batiens women had just as much rights as the men, while Kakin depicted the society as very patriarchal. And this alone could change a lot about how history was understood and most importantly, its heritage.

Killua had been reading about the political situation ever since Ging suggested they was some issue with the acceptance of the project. He understood that there was an ongoing succession war in the Kakin empire. The reigning king had two daughters with his first wife and two sons with his second. Usually, the princesses would step back and leave the place to their brothers or half-brothers in this case but Camellia had shown a lot of ambitions. Wanting to have her place on the throne, even going as far as demanding to be called _"prince"_ instead of " _princess"._

Camellia was an interesting persona, she had spent a lot of her fortune on restoring artefacts and old traditional houses. She was passionate about history and archeology, even getting her own degree for her pleasure and she was one of the main sponsors of the project.

The more Killua read on her the more he wondered if her hobby was really just that. Wouldn’t it be fitting if the Khalkans beliefs turned out to be facts ? Nothing about those questions ever came up during the exploration, but Ging had mentioned the tensions and how the king wasn’t completely on board with the project. There was no sign that the king had even given a single dime for it.

Camillia’s mother was from Ladsha, where most of the workers were, and since the kind didn’t want to meddle, he let Camillia fund the project using her own ressources, in other words, her mother’s.

It was becoming clearer that she wanted Ging to dig up proof that Kakin had historically put women as rulers. What was Ging’s position in all this ? It seemed he was mostly just taking advantage of the funding and being careful with how the information circulated.

The workers had been bribed by her half-brother, Tserriednich… Did he also suspect something ? Was he trying to find a way to sabotage the project ? Was that what the workers were paid to do ? Unless he cared about trafficking artefacts ? something that wasn't rare either. There were rumors that other oases that belonged to the Batian’s time had been purposefully left to be pillaged, leaving very few proof of how politics were done.

What was sure was that these discoveries held a lot of weight and not just for historical purposes. Most interns didn't look into it much, but Killua was understanding more and more why it was all such a delicate affair. That aspect of the project drew him in, fascinating him by its complexity.

Killua had the advantage of coming from a familly of lawyers that dweled in international affairs, they took the cases that no one wanted. The ones that were called when a country, a company or a celebrity wanted to avoid scandal or international repercussion. Like that time an oil company had three ships sink in international seas, it had affected the little countries fishing industries, many had died and it had cost billions to clean the waters. Illumi had taken the case and his ruthlessness combined with Milluki’s hacking abilities managed to let the oil company get away with it. Earning even more fame for the Zoldyck’s family, at least amongst the corrupted elite.

Killua had been expected to follow that road but he never condone any of it. He hated how things were dealt even if he was seen to be the most talented yet. He learned fast, had an amazing memory and could easily connect information, finding strategies and loopholes.

But he used that to find a way to enroll in anthropology. This was his only satisfaction in life, to have used their own logic against them, making them gasp in horror at his career choice. Because they didn’t want to lose face, they acted like this was just a phase or a way for Killua to discover other things and open his mind before going into law school.

They still believed he would take over their business.

\---

On one of those slow days, where the cruel weather forced them to stay longer in the lab, Ging decided to give them a crash course on cumerian languages using the seed bank they had discovered and the stele as working material.

The language was a complex one with a logic of its own, It didn’t seem to have a structure and a lot of the words weren’t literal and the meaning had to almost be guessed.

He was now translating lines of the stele, choosing carefully which ones he would explain. The stele held the rules under which the travelers had to abide in order to be granted hospitality.

"One valuable equals one sun and moon cycle" he was translating each word, taking a pause between each of them "It seemed the city was mostly into trades and a valuable meant of course, an object of value, but the world doesn’t refer to just objects, meaning it could also be something like information. A sun and moon cycle is basically 24 hours."

He then went to explain a few other lines but Gon’s curiosity made him speak up "What does that first line say ? Is it a form of greeting ?"

Ging paused a few seconds, looking at the line and taking his time. Killua noticed his hand playing with the hem of his scarf, was he struggling to translate or was he struggling to decide _what_ to translate. "The king welcomes the wanderers far from their homes, may this city put a roof and protect you." He didn’t add any more explanation and stepped away from the stele.

They had all moved to the flasks now and Killua stayed behind to take a better look at that first line, something about how Ging translated it felt odd to him. He vaguely noticed Kite talking about agriculture as an introduction to Ging’s translation of the many symbols on the flasks when Killua’s eyes widen as a realization sunk in.

He turned to look at Ging who took notice immediately and their eyes locked. Ging nodded to him before ignoring him again to go back to the group, starting his explanation on symbolism in cumerian languages.

Killua moved back next to his comrades letting the information fill the gap in what he had learned about the Kakin empire but he knew to stay quiet about it, Ging had purposely avoided getting into details. 

And truth be told, a certain satisfaction took over. He felt excited to be sharing a secret with Ging, the only connection he had been able to have with the man in the last days.

—-

As they were clearing the lab for the evening, Killua was putting some artefacts back in the cold room. Gon and Kite were the last ones in the lab going over some ideas on how the Batian’s did certain harvest.

When he turned to leave, he saw Ging sitting apart from them, taking notes in what seemed to be a small diary made of leather. He chose to ignore him and just go his way when Ging’s voice stopped him. "You didn’t tell me you knew cumerians…"

His eyes glowed with seriousness, but there was something there he had seen just a few times, a form of curiosity and almost… admiration. It made Killua almost forget what he had said, wanting to see that glow again. Just for him.

"I don’t…" he said, awkwardly scratching at his elbow, trying not to let himself get overwhelmed from this opportunity to speak with Ging "but I’ve been studying the words you have taught us and… well I noticed a pattern with the words used to describe titles." He felt compelled to get closer, but he was too aware of Gon and Kite still talking a few meters away to dare do anything.

"You should consider linguistics as a specialization." He expected it to sound teasing but it was a real suggestion.

"Maybe" Killua turned his head to make sure both Gon and Kite weren’t paying attention to them before asking "So, since you brought it up, I’m assuming I’m correct ?"

Ging raised an eyebrow. The man wasn’t going to say it himself was he ?

"There is no gender when it comes to titles in cumerian…" He saw the line of Ging’s mouth curve just slightly upward.

"I can’t say." He simply offered him going back to his diary.

"You can’t ever say anything, can you ?" Killua couldn’t help but reply or let some resentment slip through his voice making the message clear to Ging.

Ging’s eyes went back up to meet him again, a silence sat for long seconds. Ging wasn’t acting in that moment when he said "I have to be careful." It sounded like an apology to Killua.

"I didn’t take you for someone who cared about consequences." He seemed incapable of shutting himself up. 

Ging’s head fell slightly down as he saw his shoulders shake with a little laugh. "You might be the first person to ever accuse me of not being selfish enough."

Killua couldn’t really say why, but a smile appeared on his own face at that statement. 

Even if Ging was still avoiding the topic, there was a form of understanding now.

Ging smiled back at him after closing his diary, pocketing it and getting up. This time he was the one that left first.

Killua stayed still before he heard Gon calling him. "What are you doing ?" Gon stopped himself to look in the same direction Killua was staring at, trying to see what made Killua so focused on the door where Ging had disappeared. Not finding his answer, Gon continued "I have so much to tell you, Kite gave me so many interesting ideas to look into."

Killua finally turned to look at Gon’s joyful smile.

He put his attention on the book Gon was holding.

"Yeah sure, let's go grab a drink after dinner maybe ?" He offered putting his hands in his pockets and feeling a little lighter than he had for quite a while now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for reading, kudoing and sharing your thougths.  
> This pairing is almost inexistant and I like knowing I'm not the only crazy person out there that think they could make sense ?  
> I like thinking about the whole political aspects and archeology world... let me know if it gets too heavy !  
> And also, next chapter... will get spicier !


	6. Break-in-Slope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not totally satisfied but I'm at a point where I need the plot to advance. 
> 
> I hope it's still worthy.

**Chapter 06 - Break-in-Slope**

The project seemed to advance on two different fronts from there on. 

  
The first being the actual artefacts and the realization that the city relied on knowledge as a trading chip. The most valuable of knowledge revolving around agriculture and irrigation. From what they understood of the oasis they were digging out, it was a crossroads for many travelers, scientists, ambassadors and artists from around the world. 

  
The second was a political game brewing and kept hush to most people. Killua suspected that Ging would have talked to Kite and some key scientists he trusted the most, he had noticed them having more meetings and being less on the field. It was becoming rare for Killua to see Ging anymore and he couldn’t deny how he missed having his attention, as unsettling as it was. 

But that allowed the young intern to focus more on the daily work and to even bond with the others. Something he had been refraining from. He even got the chance to talk things over with Spinner. They both had come clean with what happened a few weeks prior and instead of making things awkward, it made a more meaningful friendship blossom between them.

Gon had been excelling on the field and Killua enjoyed watching him go. He had been studying the new information and connecting them with modern knowledge. The many fresques that were being dug out showed that this city, in the middle of the desert, managed to grow many things that were deemed impossible. They haven't found any writing that explained the techniques they used for that could revolutionize agriculture today. But it seemed food was abundant in the city and many intellectuals travelled here specifically to learn about agriculture.

  
  
The seeds being another form of trading chips seemed to make more and more sense since the seed bank was found near the main gate. The general map they had, showed something like a library, maybe a school, was built close to the gates while the housings and probably a palace were in the middle, surrounded by another series of ramparts. At the center of the field, they found the remains of columns which might be the palace, a common place to find it. They would want their ruler to be the hardest to reach. Thought nothing indicated that the city had any enemies. No records of fights seemed to be found indicating they weren’t menaced. 

The last leader was depicted as a fine negotiator too, and the neighboring countries found it more profitable to work with them than against them. The name of that ruler was still to be found.   


  
The days passed like this, discovery after discovery. As much as he had been self conscious lately around Ging, Killua had somewhat come back to himself. He wasn’t so much on full alert when Ging was there and confidence came slowly back. Ging still avoided him, but it didn’t bother Killua as much. 

  
One day, on the field, Ata Kaled came to fetch him and Gon for tea. It was a sort of tradition that had started ever since he had given him the scarf. At least twice a week, tea was shared with the Khalkan who loved the younger boys’ company. 

  
As Killua lifted the vale to the tent, he saw Ging sitting there, drinking tea and for once, he didn’t have any papers or some sort of work with him. It was the first time Killua noticed him so relaxed. He wondered if it was because he felt more comfortable with Khalkans than his other colleagues. 

  
Killua sat opposite of Ging and a space between them was left open for Gon to take. A little awkward acknowledgment passed through between the father and son. Gon gave a little shy smile and Ging answered him with a little nod. 

  
There wasn’t much time for idle chit chat as Ata Kaleb came right back with little cakes and biscuits "My wife can’t stop making these !" he said, cheerfully. He shoves a few to each of his guests, giving them all something to do. 

  
Ata Kaleb loved those gatherings that were an opportunity for him to share stories from his tribe and to ask about how the project was going. He was mostly curious about the stele which Ging tried to avoid talking about. By the way his eyes looked sideways to Gon, he realized it was mostly because of their presence and not that he intended to hide anything from Ata Kaleb himself. 

  
"We still don’t have any specific information, no names have been found."

  
Ata Kaleb shook his head. "You don’t need specific names, you have me ! I keep telling you, Zedora is the last ruler of Azurlo !"

  
"Zedora?" Gon asked, completely thrown back by the name. Killua had heard the name being mentioned by Ata Kaleb but had assumed it was some sort of deity. 

The Khalkan scowled at the question "You haven’t told them about Zedora ?" he accused Ging who shrugged. "She is the eldest daughter of Senad ! Don’t listen to Kakin historians, they keep saying it’s her younger brother that was exiled, but it was her !"

  
Ging rose up at this trying to explain this new information to the boys. "The Khalkans have their history passed down orally, unfortunately, it doesn’t hold much weight to the scientist community."

  
Ata Kaleb waved his hands in dismissiveness "Those pencil pushers ! They only believe what they see because they lie all the time. Khalkans don’t lie, we believe what we hear. Zedora is the mother of our culture. We are her descendance and she was the real last ruler of the Batiens."

  
This added another layer of complexity that Killua understood immediately. He quickly glanced at Ging who confirmed it with a nod. So were the presence of Khalkans on this site also for their own interest ? They had been menaced more than once by the empire. If they proved Zedora did exist, and did rule this city… would that give them peace ? Or even, claim on the desert ? 

  
"So if we find her name on the artefacts we come across, it would prove it..." Killua said in low voice, he knew it was too late to keep all of this a secret to Gon, he would caught on eventually and the fact that Ging didn’t interrupt Ata Kaleb was proof enough he trusted Gon. 

  
Ata Kaleb laughed and gave a little tap on Killua's shoulder. "I like these boys, they are smart ! It shows. I have a good eye!" He lifts his fingers in a _I told you so_ manner. He turned to Ging. "They would make great Khalkans, we should find them brides, Gon already has the looks, like his father, Killua would need to get used to the sun, but his beauty would be fought over." He teased Killua, giving him another slap on the shoulder. 

This made Ging answer flatly while pouring himself more tea "I don’t think Gon or Killua came here to look for wives" he said, trying to make it out as him just protecting his interns from uncomfortable conversation, but the way his voice was just a pitch higher than his usual one made Killua wonder if something else wasn’t bothering him. He had shown his annoyance whenever he and Spinner would talk or joke around.  


Gon’s cristal clear laugh managed to dissolve the little tension that was about to build. "I am more interested by the project, no offense." His hand was raised in a peaceful manner.   


Killua turned to Gon before locking eyes with Ging "Yeah, that, and we are pretty young after all… how could we possibly know what we want?"  


Gon slapped a hand on Killua’s shoulder "That’s more your issue, I can’t imagine you staying with only one person" he smirked at Killua making Ging look away and lean back on the many pillows behind him, like a pacha in his realm. A hand was posed on his raised knee while his other laid behind him.  


Ata Kaleb seemed to light up at that "curiosity is a beautiful quality. Khalkans are allowed to marry more than one person !" He said, offering a little wink.  


Gon frowned at that « that seems pretty unfair to the women though» Killua heard Ging shift a little in place but he didn’t pay him attention. He was curious at Ata Kaleb's response to that.  


"Unfair to women, what do you mean ? The laws in our tribes are the same for men and women! Our women fights and own commerce and they can marry more than one person." He looked proud at this statement, then he raised an eyebrow at them "Why do you think my wife is never here? She’s off to work." He laughed a little before adding. "She calls this project a playground and Ging my babysitter."

  
Killua and Gon laughed at the idea before looking at each other, for some reason they had assumed wrongly that their women stayed away from the site to take care of the households. They simultaneously looked at the treats that was put in between them.   


Ata Kaleb was a keen observer and he continued pointing to the little cakes they had been sharing. "My wife is a very active leader, she’s too busy to come here but she encourages me to because she, like Ging, believes it’s important to know our history. Cooking is her hobby, she says it helps her meditate." He had a found smile on his face "and it keeps her man fat and healthy" he laughed, slapping his hands on his belly.

  
"What does your wife do ?" Gon asked, laughing at Ata Kaleb last comment. 

  
"She’s the one that deals with the politics, she’s the official leader. But unfortunately, Kakin doesn't listen to women… Neither do the other surrounding countries… So she works from behind and sends either her younger brother or me when there’s need for negotiation or official representation."

  
"That’s unfortunate" Gon said, eyebrows furrowed. It felt like he was going to add something, but then refrained. 

  
Ata Kaleb simply shifted the conversation to more neutral territory, like the seed bank. He was surprised to find out the city had so much knowledge in agriculture, they themselves only went from oasis to oasis and lived off their cattle. 

Killua crossed his arms letting Gon dive into his passion, he smiled tenderly at his friends enthusiasm, wondering if he would ever have such a passion for anything. His eyes moved to watch Ging who was also listening in the conversation, interfering just a few times to correct the information. 

  
He couldn’t help but observe Ging playing with the fabric of the cushions, shifting just slightly when the name of a ruler came up. He thought about the new information they had gotten from Ata Kaleb, another complexity to the situation Killua hadn't seen yet, the Khalkans wanting proof of the existence of their queen to come out. The name hasn’t appeared anywhere, or maybe it did, Killua and the interns were not privy to every single objects that was dug out. And with the workers having been bribed once, they might be more careful now. 

  
If Zedora was in fact the real ruler, Kakin's whole history would have to be rewritten. 

  
It made sense that the ruling family did not want too much information to circulate. That some of the princes would want to destroy artefacts…

  
It made sense that Ging would need to juggle many tensions, yet it amazed Killua how calm and collected he was all the time. 

Ging’s dark amber eyes met his in between chit chats. A little smile appeared on his lips. 

—-

  
  
That Saturday night, the interns decided to go again for the one and only bar in town. This time, they insisted for everyone to come since they had many reasons to be celebrating, the recent discoveries were exhilarating.

  
  
So all the Kakin scientists, Kite and even Ging joined in the festivities,

  
  
The foreign workers had declined and stayed on the camping sites. The Khalkans refused to join in too, they weren’t really welcomed in the cities which was a shame, Killua thought, he would have loved to offer a drink to Ata Kaleb for a change.

  
  
Because of their huge number, they were all scattered on multiple tables taking almost the whole place which was a rare event for the bartender who struggled to serve everyone.

  
  
Killua spent the evening with Gon, Spinner, Monta, Pokkle and Banana. Spinner was teasing Killua again but without any flirtation, Banana was talking about her dog whom she missed dearly, Pokkle was trying to get some advice on how to talk to Ponzu. Time passed fast as they shared drinks and anecdotes. 

It was almost 3 am by the time Spinner, Monta and Banana decides to leave. Pokkle had finally found the courage to talk to Ponzu and seemed to be having a good time. 

  
  
"Are you coming along ?" Spinner asked both Gon and Killua. 

  
"Nah, I’m having a good time, and we don’t have anything tomorrow" Killua answered while Gon nodded next to him, cheeks a little pink from the night's drinks. 

  
Spinner rubbed Killua’s fluffy hair, a little drunkenly "Aren’t you resilient to alcohol mister trouble maker" Killua grinned at her, raising his glass to cheer at her words. He watched her leave with part of the group. 

The bar was mostly empty by now, Gon and Killua were left chatting between themselves. It made Killua more comfortable to be just with his best friend. "Another pint ?" Gons asks.

  
  
"Sure !" Killua was cheerful. As he looked around the room, he saw Ging was still there too, drinking at the bar with a colleague. He didn’t seem to be having that much fun but Killua chose to ignore him. They had crossed eyes a few times and he felt the older man had wanted to engage but Killua didn’t want this night to be about him.

  
  
Which made the appearance of a tall man, with a striped suit more disconcerting. He sat next to Killua, as Gon came back with the beers. His blond hair were neatly combed and placed behind his ears, he looked like he just came back from an important meeting, which was odd at 3 am in the morning. He wore a big smile and his blue eyed sparkled as if they were trying to be friendly but somehow Killua didn’t loosen up to him. 

  
"Nice to see new faces around here. Can I offer you boys some drinks ?" The man didn’t really wait for them to answer nor care they had just filled their pints with beer as he waved the bartender to come over. Killua noticed that despite the overwhelming evening, the bartender came immediately. "I see you’ve been drinking beers all night long, can I suggest something more prestigious ? How about some Chartreuse?" He said mostly to the waiter who nodded and immediately went to prepare their drinks, ignoring waving customers on his way back to the bar.   


Killua eyed him suspiciously but stayed silent while Gon, always the polite one, thanked him for the offer with a small smile.

  
  
"You are working on the Azurlo site right ?" He propped his chin on his hands, looking at them like they were about to tell him the most fascinating story.

  
  
"Yeah, we are interns. Here for the next month in a half" Killua answered him, a little wary.

  
  
"My name is Pariston Hill by the way." He offered once the drinks were dropped on the table.

  
  
"Killua Zoldyck."

  
  
"Gon Freecs."

  
  
Pariston's eyes darted at Gon with a little twinkle in them that only made the discomfort that much stronger. "As in Ging Freecs' son ?" His smile reaches his ears "I didn’t know he had a son… Following your father's steps ?"

  
  
Gon only smiled shyly back, he always hated being identified as Ging’s son. "It’s actually a coincidence, I didn’t know he was my father until I decided to study archeology myself." He clarified before adding "I’m actually specializing in botanical archeology."

  
  
Killua took a moment to take in Gon’s stance, he didn’t seem to be feeling discomfort mentioning how Ging meant little to him outside of his profession. He had noticed them talking from time to time. There was no expectation from Gon and no favoritism from Ging. But they did seem to respect one another and it seemed to be enough for Gon.   


  
"How fascinating. I heard that the site used to be an oasis with luxurious nature. Must be a great project for you."

  
  
Gon perked up with excitement at that comment "Yes ! We’ve barely dug a fraction of the site and already, we’ve come across great discoveries."

  
  
"Really ? Do tell ?"

  
  
"Seeds and ornaments mostly, archeologists tend to be passionate about stuff most people see as insignificant." Killua felt the need to cut in. He knew Gon wouldn’t have shared any specifics but this man seemed like he was looking for any bid of information.

  
  
That intervention made Pariston turn his interest to him. "And what does your boyfriend do ?" He said with a little complicit smile.

  
  
Gon smiled in embarrassment "He’s not my boyfriend, I mean, we are really close, not that kind of close."

  
  
Killua snickered at him. "Don’t act like it would be horrible !"

  
  
That made Pariston act like he was thrilled by that new information. "Oh, single boys out in the bar." He lingered a little longer at Killua "So what do you do Killua ?" Still that odd innocent smile on him. 

  
  
Killua grabbed the drink and took a sip of it before smacking his lips "I’m in anthropology, don’t know if I’ll specialize in anything, I’m still figuring things out."

  
  
"Anthropology… the study of men."

  
  
Killua knew exactly where this was going, he knew those men too well. Late thirties, early forties, career oriented, no family or one left behind for appearances, wanting to feel young and powerful by getting in young boys pants. Gon had probably noticed too, this man oozed wicked energy behind that fake smile of his.

  
  
But little did this Pariston guy know he wouldn’t stand a chance with Gon. Gon never cared about people’s flirts. He only cared if they had anything interesting to say or share. Sex and compliments weren’t on Gon’s list of interest. Unlike Killua.

  
  
Killua leaned in on Pariston, testing his theory on him "I do study men a lot. And what do you do, Pariston ?"

  
  
That angle allowed him to see from the corner of his eyes Ging looking at him. _Whatever_. He thought as he watched Pariston reacting to his closeness.

  
  
The older man took the time to play with the ice in his glass and looked Killua up and down, obviously enjoying himself. "I work for Padokea’s embassy here. I supervise projects and make sure everything goes smoothly. So this project is on my radar as you can imagine."

  
  
Killua realized now why this man had so much confidence and why the waiter made sure to not make him wait. Does this man think his prestige and power can get him anyone ? He leaned in a little more daring. "And what are you doing in this bar so late at night, Mister Hill ?"

  
  
There’s a little flush on Pariston's cheeks, he obviously wasn’t expecting him to be so direct but a satisfied smile appeared on his lips "keeping an eye on the project."

  
  
A smash on the table interrupted their conversation. All three of them turned to find Ging who had just slammed a bottle of Vodka and 4 shooters on the table.

  
  
"It’s boring out there, how about a drinking game ?"

  
Killua saw Gon looking bewildered at Ging, obviously wondering what brought him to their table all of a sudden while Ging’s eyes stayed a little longer on Killua. Gon then turned to his friend who answered back with a simple shrug. 

  
  
Pariston was the only one who seemed thrilled with the idea. "Oh, fun ! What game did you have in mind ?" 

  
  
Ging took a stool and sat on it "How about _Never have I ever_ ?"

  
  
This idea irritated Killua to his chore, he knew Ging had an idea behind this proposition but he took the bottle from Ging and started pouring drinks to everyone "trying to get some 19 yo drunk Mister Ging ?" He said, trying to hide the bite in his words.

  
  
" _Doctor_ Freecs and we are in a bar. You are of age. What’s the problem ?" His smirk was nothing less than daring and Killua just swallowed his pride and decided not to grace him with a comment.

  
  
Pariston kept acting like he didn’t feel the little tension and asked innocently "I haven’t played that game since college… But doesn’t the youngest usually start ?" He says looking at the boys.

  
  
"That would be Killua" Gon said, pointing to his friend. Not really aware that this question had meaning.

  
  
"Fine" Killua took his shooter and lifted it in unison with everyone, he might as well get some answers "Never have I ever flirted with someone too young for me ?" Killua had his eyes focused on Ging but it was Pariston who drank his first shot with a little "busted" coming out of him.

  
  
Everyone else had their glasses full, Killua shouldn’t have been surprised, Ging had never technically flirted with him. But a relief came at the notion that Ging didn’t have a habit of flirting with younger people.

  
  
Gon took his turn, he had that look on his face that said he didn’t really get what was going on but he was there for the trip. "Never have I ever… cheated on a test." To his surprise all the other three players took a shot while Gon remained with his glass full. His eyes narrowed at Killua "I knew you were looking at my copy in the Ethical class." To which Killua only grinned back at him. 

Ging filled his glass before asking «Never have I ever flirted with a person to get someone else’s attention»

Killua's eyes grew wide at this, was Ging assuming that he was talking to Pariston to get his attention ? He looked at his glass and noticed that Pariston next to him was drinking. He then turned to Ging and pushed his glass away, making it clear that _that_ , wasn’t what he was doing. 

  
"Well it seems I’m going to be drinking a lot, aren’t I?" Pariston chirped, smacking his lips before filling the glass again. The game continued on like that for a couple of rounds, Pariston drinking almost every turn. 

  
The alcohol was getting to Killua’s and he felt light headed but not enough to not noticed how the questions Ging would ask were always to try to dig some information out of Killua. It annoyed him that he would use such a game, especially in front of people. While Gon was definitely getting overly tipsy, Pariston, who had drunk the most, was still fully concentrated and aware. 

It was his turn once more, feeling the irritation fill him, he took his glass and said with as much venom as he could put in "Never have I ever got so jealous and possessive I had to invent a stupid game and make everyone uncomfortable."

  
  
But Killua didn't stop to see who was going to drink as he got up leaving his glass untouched on the table. He only heard Pariston say "That was oddly specific" in that sing song innocent voice of his while he heard Gon chuckle at the comment. 

  
  
He thanked whatever deity up there that Gon was now too drunk to read anything through it as he was walking outside the bar into the cold night back to his room.  
  
  


___

  
  
Back in his room, Killua was tossing his clothes on the floor not caring where they landed, feeling irrationally angry about the night's events. He did feel bad for leaving Gon like that. But at least Gon got along with everyone and would easily find someone else to talk to.

  
As he slipped into his bed, bitterness and mostly exhaustion took over him, pouting like the dumbass he felt he was. He couldn’t get over how Ging was acting, the charade he was keeping up. Ging clearly wasn’t indifferent to him; he couldn’t stop looking at him. Yet he was always making it a point to tell him nothing would happen. How was he supposed to accept it if the man acted possessive the minute he took some distance ? 

  
It felt like an hour had passed of him in his bed going over and over what had happened, feeling pissed and then calming down only to fume again once more.

  
He was finally starting to drift to sleep, dreaming of the man he had been obsessed with entering his room like so many nights before. 

  
And then he felt a weight on his bed. 

  
And a hand reached into his hair, caressing him like you would do a sick person.

  
Killua held his breath, processing what was happening and taking in that touch he had been craving, part of him thought he was delirious and imagining this. But his imagination couldn’t be that great…God, why did it feel so good ?

  
He let out the air that got stuck in his lungs and when he opened his eyes, he saw Ging with those dark lustful eyes obviously wanting more than a simple caress. His hand sliding down his face before going back to his own hair, messing them up even more in an awkward manner. 

  
"Need anything ?" Killua asked him in a snappy voice, eyebrows furrowed at him.

  
Ging smirked at Killua’s snarky voice "you’ve been wanting my attention for days. Now that I’m here you’re playing hard to get ?"

  
His breath smelled like alcohol, that explained the blood infused eyes "you’re drunk."

  
"What does it matter ?"

  
Killua rose up on his elbow, all his intention to sleep having left him. "For a start, you might not be able to get it up, old man." He wasn’t planning on making this any easy for Ging. Not anymore.

  
Ging head dropped with a little laugh "you really are a brat."

  
When his head snapped up, he went to lean over him, pushing him back on his mattress. His face only inches from Killua’s. Lips gracing his, taunting him. Not unlike Killua had tried to do only a week ago. 

  
Killua's eyes were looking at those cherry red lips and he couldn’t help wanting to taste them, he felt Ging’s breath on him and heat rose to his face. He swallowed hard, feeling a little bead of sweat rolling down his forehead. He only needed to lean and he could finally know what that man’s tongue tasted like… Was it as sharp as his words ? But he wouldn’t cave, not now, it was Ging’s turn.

  
  
Ging stayed like that, not touching him, only building Killua’s frustration and maintaining the tension. His heartbeat was ringing in his ears in a maddening way. 

  
A faint whine finally escaped Killua’s lips making Ging smirks with satisfaction. The asshole wanted to prove a point.

  
  
"So you had to drink to finally have the guts to come and find me alone ?"

  
  
A flash passed in Ging’s eyes, he was expecting a smart come back from him, like they always did, but he felt lips crash on his, shutting him up effectively. That was the only answer he would get as his hands found Killua’s and their fingers laced together. Ging pushed his hands above his head pinning him down. 

  
  
And just that single connection felt like his mind was imploding. He had been yearning for those touches, dreamt of those hands on him and of the taste of his mouth and it still all managed to surpass his expectations. 

The exotic smell filled his nostril as he inhaled the man above him, his lips moving in perfect rhythm, playfully nibbling at his before his tongue entered him, circling his sending shivers down his spine. The sensation making him melt into his mattress, completely overwhelmed by Ging’s weight on him. His unkept beard gracing his soft skin was enticing him making want to pull him closer.

But the need for air made them break the kiss. 

Breath still short, lips still tingling, Killua wanted to taste so much more. He didn’t waste any time as he rose up in a sitting positing and his now free hands found their way down to Ging’s waistband panting and eager.

  
  
His fingers hooked on his belt but before he could unbuckle it, he felt Ging’s warm hands on his, stopping his movement. His eyes fluttered up in confusion. 

  
  
A sigh reached his ears as he saw Ging lean his forehead on his, one hand moved up to cup his face while the other stayed secure on Killua’s hands. His eyes were still glossy but there was an apology in them. "We can't…"

  
  
Killua fingers left Ging’s waistband but they were still held by Ging’s. "I told you alcohol was a stupid idea." 

  
"Shut up, we can’t coz... you’re... we just can't." He was shaking his head slightly, trying to convince the both of them.

  
  
Ging eyes went looking for the door, obviously planning his exit now. 

  
Killua caught the message and the bitterness of the night came back "what ? So you just came in to tease me. And now you’re just going to leave like that ?"

  
  
Ging passed a hand over his face trying desperately to sober up. "Look. I don’t know why I came... I didn’t think this through… I just know I should go before…"

  
  
He didn’t finish his sentence. He didn’t finish anything he came here for.

  
  
Killua saw him get up and leave without even glancing back at him.

  
  
Once the door was closed, Killua's head fell back on his pillow with force and too much built-up emotions. "Fuck" he let the word escape him. The closest he would get to that, was in a curse. 

He really felt like punching the wall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I feel kinda stock... And like I'm reaching the limits of my writing.  
> Like I'm not as a good as I need to be for a story like this... I won't stop writing this story as I still like the idea and the plot. 
> 
> Please share your thoughts !  
> I love hearing from you !
> 
> Thank you to anyone who read this, leaves a kudo and/or comment.  
> It helps a lot !!


	7. Terminus Post Quem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had so much great feedback on my last chapter ! It really kicked my motivation to write more !  
> Thank you so much !  
> Hope you will like this chapter. 
> 
> Warning... You know what it is...

**Chapter 07 - Terminus Post Quem**

When they weren’t travelling to another city, they’d do laundry and if they were motivated, prepare lunches for the week to come. That Sunday, after the bar, was a lazy one

Ging was nowhere to be found and Killua wondered if he was hiding from him again, not that it was a rare thing for Ging to disappear like that. Sometimes even for days. 

He had woken up confused that morning, spread between the desire to share more with Ging as that kiss had ignited him and the anger of it happening this way, with Ging drunk and acting… like a possessive asshole. 

And that second feeling was becoming stronger as the day passed and Ging hadn’t shown himself once. 

By the late afternoon, he decided to go sit by the window, a book in hands that he had stopped reading a while back when he saw Gon come sit by his side. 

"Are you feeling okay today ?"

Killua turned to his best friend, taking in his features under the slowly setting sun, his first days here, he would see a lot of similarity between Gon and Ging but as his infatuation with Ging grew, he saw so much more of what set them apart. It didn’t make the guilt leave his chest as he tried to sit more comfortable, letting Gon slide a little closer. 

"I don’t know, just a lot on my mind I guess."

"Is it about the conversation we had with Ata Kaleb ? I’ve been thinking about it too" Gon said, probably wanting to talk about it more. 

"Yeah, that…" he was about to add _too_ but stopped himself just in time. "I guess you figured it out too huh ? the stakes of this project."

"Yeah, it’s kinda messed up… I never thought of archeology this way. I guess I never worked in a country that is ruled by royalties before."

Killua smirked and gave a little friendly punch on Gon’s shoulder "That’s your second internship Gon ! Don’t act all experienced." 

Gon laughed at him and rubbed his shoulder "Well that’s twice your experience !" 

Killua’s pupils shrunk at those words… They were too familiar now. "That doesn’t mean anything" he replied with a little bit of spite that wasn’t meant for Gon. 

"Come on. I was teasing you, I know you caught on to this situation way before me. I noticed how much you started reading on the country's politics… Now I know why."

 _You don't really know why._ Killua thought to himself with embarrassment. 

Killua brought his knees to his chest and folded his arms on them, looking reflectively at the floor. "Yeah, I’m not sure we are supposed to know so much though. And even so, we can’t do much about it, except keep digging."

He noticed Gon looking sideway before saying. "Do you think you could read her name if you came across it ?"

Killua’s head snapped up with apprehension at Gon, he had that smile on his face that said trouble. He would normally follow along without a second thought but this wasn’t just their internships they would be messing with. "Where are you going with this Gon ?"

"Honestly, I’m not sure… But I do want to know if she existed. There are so many legends out there, it’s exciting to think we might discover the existence of one."

Killua squinted at his friend, trying to figure out if there was something else scheming behind those sparkling eyes of his. Gon wasn’t easy to read but they had been friends long enough for Killua to be able to understand the subtext. Gon didn’t have a plan… but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t come up with something stupid if they ever did come across a proof of Zedora’s existence. So he played it carefully "I might be able to… we’ll see." 

It was enough to soothe Gon who shifted the conversation to more mundane things. 

\---

The next Monday, Ging was already there on the field when they arrived, Killua saw a one person tent next to the Khalkans’ ones and figured he slept the night there. That seemed to be a first and Killua couldn’t help but wonder if he had anything to do with that choice. 

He noticed him looking scruffier than usual and wore that annoyed face, like he badly slept. His arms were crossed and he was looking everywhere except at the intern, except at _him_. Killua’s eyes bore themselves on his back, wanting him to look his way. 

But he never did. Kite went to him, asking him about the day’s priorities, he saw him scuff something and then headed into the main tent with the KhalKans. Killua wanted to follow, for what, he couldn’t tell. He couldn’t really confront him here in front of everyone. But seeing him again, almost two days after that kiss… Killua had a hard time not wanting to be near him. 

"Gon and Killua, come with me" Kite’s voice made Killua turn away from where Ging had disappeared. 

The two boys arrived near Kite who had sheets of papers and pencils with him. Gon looked ecstatic at this but Killua wasn’t following. 

"So, Ging pulled an all nighter and dug more of the fresque with some of the Khalkans, and well, there’s a lot of new plants that are depicted on those and some fossils of organics remains. Ging wants you to draw it all because he wants to study them."

"Draw them ?"» Killua asked, surprised. "Don’t you have illustrators that do that ? Why us ? Aren’t photos enough ?"

Kite sighed, "Ging said, and I quote, “Illustrators are expensive, Gon draws well enough for this, send him with his friend, and photos aren’t enough to get all the details.” He knew you would ask those questions… Strangely enough, in that exact order." He said with no expression, anyone would have shown surprise but Kite was maybe the person that knew Ging the best. 

Gon was smiling gingerly "New plants really ? Where is it ?"

"That’s another thing… It’s at the far end of the first rampart. Close to what we think could be another library. It’s… quite a walk… I’ll try to find if any of the Khalkans could drive you there. Oh and take snacks and water with you. I’ll come and get you when we leave for the lab ."

Killua inhaled strongly trying not to show how pissed he was getting. Ging was really going out of his way to not to cross Killua’s path today. Gon turned to him with a big grin "I can’t believe how lucky we are !" 

"Yeah… very lucky" he said between gritted teeth. 

At least Gon was happy, he tried to tell himself. 

\---

On the zone where Ata Wasu gave them a ride to, Killua checked his phone to see if he had any reception and nothing was passing through. Kite had given them a small radio for any emergency. It really was starting to look like they had been banished away. 

Only the person he had been banished with was excited about the situation and kept repeating “oh my god” in a loop. Killua looked at what was making Gon so happy and a 5 meters long and 2 meters high wall was in front of them, all excavated and ready to be immortalized on their papers. 

He looked to his left and he could see miles of deserts between them and the main camp where small dots of people walked around. He squinted to try to figure out which one of those dots was Ging so he could hate it and send some evil staring waves in his direction. 

Ging’s message was clear to anyone, except Gon.

"How do you want to divide the wall ?" He said without even looking at Killua, his eyes were dilated and taking in what seemed to be a masterpiece to Gon. If he had been in a better mood he might have told him Gon was acting like an objectophile… But he kept it to himself. 

Instead he shrugged "I don’t care, consider me your assistant." 

"Great, I’ll start with that part, it has the most plants on it. You can draw that side… I’ll help you with the scaling." And without another word Gon had started on his side and killua just dragged his feet to his. 

An hour had passed and Killua found himself enjoying the exercise. It calmed him and was just the distraction he needed not to let his anger build. He found himself also not doing too bad with the drawings, it was no piece of art, but it did give the right information. 

He was just finishing drawing the curves of a leaf that looked like it was in the palm family when he saw a shadow over his paper appear. 

He turned, expecting to see Gon but found a man of average high hovering over him and looking at his drawing with a curious smile. He had golden skin, small squinting green eyes and his head completely shaved. Over his eyebrow were painted three dots he thought he’d seen before. 

He was wearing a traditional outfit with little beads of pearls and gold sewed in detailed patterns that Killua recognized as symbolizing royalty. 

That triggered his memory, Zhang Lei, the younger brother of Tserriednich.

"It’s an honor to meet you, the sun shines wherever you go !" came Gon’s cheerful and very polite voice, he had learned himself some basic words in Ameria, specifically polite phrases and respectful expressions used commonly. This was greeted with a smile by the prince who gave his hand to shake Gon’s. 

Killua did the same, bowing his head slightly mostly because that man’s eyes were making him uncomfortable. The prince put a hand on Killua’s shoulder forcing him to look up and he met the prince’s smile before seeing him turn to none other than Pariston Hill. 

Killua looked at the tall blond man with some shock, wondering what brought him here and if it was any coincidence. Was that the reason he was in the city ? 

Pariston was wearing a pale linen shirt and salmon colored capris. He was holding an umbrella with little laces on the hem. 

The prince and Pariston exchanged an understanding look before Zhan Lei turned back to Killua. "Please continue what you were doing, may his grace shine on you both." 

And he watched him walk back to where Pariston was standing with that same plastic smile on his face. Now that he thought about it, he wasn’t sure he ever saw anything but a smile on this man’s face. 

A loud engine sound was heard coming closer and Ging Freecs arrived, on a fucking motorcycle… An old rusty motorcycle, but still… Nothing to help Killua’s already crazy imagination. 

For the first time that day, Ging met Killua’s eyes and it froze him in place. But Ging was the first to avert his gaze and to turn to where Pariston and Zhang Lei were talking amongst themselves in Ameria, giving Killua glances every few seconds, making him feel more and more uneasy. 

In a few strides Ging was next them speaking loudly to be heard "I was just informed you were here, what owes us the pleasure ?" He seemed to have a stuck smile on his face. 

Pariston then opened his arms as if he was expecting a hug from Ging but the later stopped a good arm length away from the government employee. "We didn’t want to bother you Ging, after all, we did come unannounced, but we did have the pleasure to speak to your colleague Kite."

Ging was now looking at Pariston with squinted eyes, his smile turning into a grimace. "And he told you to come here ? This area hasn’t really been properly excavated yet." He said, his lips barely moving. 

Pariston's smile grew wider as he turned to the prince « I told you he was a modest man.» He then took a step toward Ging and slapped a hand on his shoulder making Ging flinch uncomfortably, something Killua found surprising "Ging, dear friend, everything about you and this project is fascinating !" He paused glancing back at Gon and Killua. "We wanted to see what was newly dug." 

Ging coughed in his hand awkwardly before straightening up slightly. "Prince Zhan Lei, I would love to show you more interesting discoveries than this area." There was a moment of hesitation from the prince who turn to look at Pariston, the tall blonde only had another one of his smile to offer.

Ging insisted another time before he started walking back to his motorcycle trying to drag the duo with him. That’s when Killua noticed the flashy white Mercedes with the Kakin flag at its front. He turned to Gon trying to see if his friend had noticed it before. Gon looked just as surprised as he was. 

The prince didn’t seem phased by any of that clumsy fiasco, he looked contempt looking around and following Ging to get back to what was now clearly his car. 

Just before getting back in the car, the prince threw one last look at Killua, smiled and then ducked in, followed closely by Pariston. 

Ging watched them leave, his eyes fixated on them, like he could see through the tainted glasses. Without another word, he straddled his motorcycle and left, not even gracing them with a glance. 

After a minute of silence, Gon spoke "What was that all about ?"

Killua shook his head "I have no idea..." and it was true. Something was up… but what exactly, there was no way of finding out, especially with Ging ignoring him as best as he could. 

Once the intruders were far from sight, they slowly went back to their task, trying to let that strange encounter behind them. 

\---

Only an hour later, a jeep was driving close to them with Kite in it. Without getting out, he waved at them to get in which they did, to Killua’s relief, who was starting to get tired of this stupid task, he much preferred digging than this. 

Gon was the first to get in "Are we going back to the main camp ?"

"No, everyone is leaving for the lab now, Ging sent me to get you, we’ll go directly."

Killua sat next to Gon, keeping his mouth shut, not wanting to bring up what happened before. Not wanting to bring up anything really. The day had been long and exhausting and they didn’t even have lunch yet. Spending the rest of the day in the air conditioned lab sounded like a nice idea. 

The whole ride was mostly silent, with little small talk, mostly between Kite and Gon who surprisingly was full of energy. They rode across the desert until the shape of the lab appeared and Kite parked the jeep in the street right in front of the main door. 

Killua was the first to get inside, with Gon in tow. Some student were already there, the ones that were excused to be on the field. He took a look at the chore charts that was on the board in the entrance and as per usual, he was assigned to go fetch the artifacts of the day which was a tasks he enjoyed doing. The place where they stored them were in the basement where the temperature was cooler, he loved the feeling of the chilling air on his skin. It was invigorating after a hot morning in the sun. 

He wasn’t at the door of the basement yet when a hand yanked him off his track and dragged him by the arm to a dark corner. 

Killua didn’t need to look twice to know who that person was. 

Ging was looking at him with serious eyes "What did Pariston want from you ?"

Of all the things Ging could have said, this was the last thing he wanted to hear. "What ? I didn’t even talk to Pariston today !" He spat out getting fueled up with each syllable. 

"Saturday, at the bar ! Before I came. What was he asking you ?"

Killua was having a hard time believing he was having this conversation, with Ging, in the lab… He looked at Ging, eyes shooting daggers, about to give him a piece of his mind. About to tell him exactly what part of saturday night they should be talking about when he noticed worry in Ging’s eyes. And that deflated his intentions.

Part of him wanted to ignore it thought, and go on a rant but he stopped himself, remembering how Pariston was a shady guy, how that prince's random appearance didn’t seem innocent. 

He took a breath lowering his gaze to the side, annoyed to have his chance for an outlet taken away from him. "We barely talked… He asked about what we did and wanted to know about the site. Why do you care so much ?" That he wanted to know. 

He watched Ging eyes flickering, his mind seemed to go on overdrive "and what did the prince tell you today ?"

Killua frowned "Just the typical good luck phrases. What is this about ? What’s the big deal ?" Now he needed to know. 

Ging calmed down on this, he looked relieved "bastard rat… messing with my head." He heard him mumble. 

Confusion spread on Killua’s face "who are you calling a rat ? Am I the rat ?" 

Ging blinked at Killua, his mind being snapped back to the present moment. "No ! of course not! It’s just… " He was hesitating to say more, opening his mouth and then shutting it before finally saying in a voice close to embarrassment "Look, some of those princes have..." he took a pause until Killua gave him big impatient eyes trying to make him spit it out already. "Specific tastes..."

And that shut him up, because Ging didn’t need to finish that sentence. Killua understood immediately what Ging was insinuating and it gave him chills. Was this for real ? He knew how powerful those princes were, how the laws of this country were different from Padokea. Offending princes could cost a lot to a project like Ging’s… What was a 19 yo intern weight in that ?

"Did… did that actually happen before ?" Killua asked, unsure if he wanted a real answer. 

Ging shook his head "not since I was given the lead on the project. It’s mostly rumors and there is no proof of anything. But I’ve been keeping my eye on Pariston." He added at the end, maybe trying to sound reassuring. 

Ging didn’t seem the type to get riled up over rumors. Why was he so worried ? Killua couldn’t find anything to say to this. He couldn’t wrap his mind around this information, he felt this was all paranoia from Ging’s part. 

"But you _are_ a type here…" He heard Ging say, interrupting his thoughts, his voice soft and lingering. "Pale skin is a great sign of beauty in Kakin." 

He locks eyes with him "and blue eyes, is considered the color of the sacred." His hand reached his hair, the tip of his fingers barely grazing them. "No one has white hair..."

The little shift he felt in his hair from that light touch brought shiver down his whole body. He leant unconsciously towards him as Ging’s eyes got blurrier, lost in each other’s gaze. 

The memory of the night before was there in both their mind. Taunting them, mocking them. In this little private space they had found, there was no way to hide from it. There was no point of pretending.

Killua took a tiny step forward, Ging’s hand was held still, hesitating between touching him or dropping down. 

But Killua was tired of that game. He dared rest his hand on his, bringing it to his cheek and letting the electricity pass between them. 

That was more than Ging could take before he pinned Killua against the wall and kissed him firmly, throwing away his reluctance while his second hand came forward to cup his face too. 

A part of Killua wanted to pull back out of spite, just to make him squirm but he was kidding himself as his body disregarded his ego. Instead, he drew him closer wrapping his arm around Ging and making any space between vanish. 

His mind was already nothing more than a puddle as the lower part of his body got fired up and he purposely grinded himself against Gings thighs, letting a moan slip his lips between frantic kisses. Seeking more of that overwhelming friction. 

The effect was instantaneous as Ging’s hands slid down under his shirt, gripping at its hem and lifting it up. 

Ging’s mouth left momentarily his lips to travel around Killua’s jaw who tilted his head in pleasure. Ging took the invitation and started kissing down his neck, nibbling his skin with little bites. 

A cuss escaped Killua’s lips as all those sensations took over him, leaving nothing but a feverish body aching to be consumed by the very man that only hours ago was ignoring him. He relished at the idea of having made him cave, of making him eager for more, just like he was desperate for. 

"Let’s go to my room…" Killua whispered, breaking the spell. 

Ging stopped. His breath was hitched and he raised his eyes at Killua’s questioning ones. He was waking up from the sudden daze that had gone over him and he was about to speak, to pull back when Killua cut him off "do not say we can’t !"

Ging shut his mouth at this but his hands left his body and went to wipe his mouth. Killu knew that Ging was retreating. That he was trying to find an excuse and he wasn’t going to have any of it. He grabbed his shirt and pulled him close to his face. In a breathy voice, he made himself clear. "Don’t act all professional with me. You are not taking advantage of your status. I _want_ this… I want _you_..."

He felt Ging shudder with those words and a smile of satisfaction appeared on Killua’s face. He liked to be able to have that effect on him. He liked confirming that _this_ was mutual. That Ging craved this just as badly as he did. 

Ging licked his bottom lips, getting dangerously close to Killua again. And it was obvious to Killua that he was having a losing battle inside his head. It was obvious now to the both of them that even if he did resist now, it would only postpone the inevitable. 

He was expecting a last attempt at an escape but no excuse came from Ging’s eyes or mouth. No attempt to run from him. He stared at him with challenge and domination, having taken back the control he loved so much "don’t let Pariston approach you ever again."

That look aroused Killua’s whole body but he smirked back defiantly. He doesn’t like to be told who he can talk to and he was about to say just that when Ging's lips crashed on his once more making his point clear. Making Killua forget all about his own independence because he was craving those lips and would swallow his pride to get more of them.

This time Ging’s hands weren’t just gently caressing his soft skin. There was strength in them, possessiveness even, that was lighting Killua’s whole body on fire. None of his touches showed any hesitation as he claimed Killua’s firm body and crushed it with his own. 

Killua’s hands gripped at his dark messy hair like it was the only thing keeping him from melting down into a puddle. He was obsessed with the sensation between his fingers sinking them deeper as his tongue searched the inside of his mouth. 

Killua thought that he could easily get addicted to those lips, that tongue and those messy hair. Even with the desperate need for air, he struggled to let go wanting more and more. Feeling like it would never be enough to soothe his hunger for that man. 

In a clumsy movement, Ging pulled back an inch for a short breath "your room you said ?" He said in a groggy voice. 

Killua, his hands still on Ging’s hair and trying to catch his mouth again «yeah» He swallowed hard. "let’s go." 

"Now ?"

"Now !"

\---

Killua headed first out after bringing out the artefacts. The lab was busy and he was about to find an excuse for him to head back to the house. He stopped himself, realizing no one gave him any attention to begin with. 

So he simply left. 

He knew no student would leave the lab before 5pm and it gave them more than enough time to finally consume their fantasy. 

Killua arrived to his room first, his heartbeat had the time to calm down to a normal pace and his horny mind managed to settle a little. Enough to look around for anything that needed to be hidden or cleaned. He kept his room tidy mostly but he didn’t want to make a bad impression. 

As he was quickly taking out some dirty clothes laying around his bed, his brain was going through the earlier events. He had a hard time believing that this was happening and anxiety was starting to build inside. When he was in front of Ging, it was easy to let himself succumb to his personal lust, but now that he had time to think, it felt surreal. 

Ging was the chief project… and Gon’s biological father. Was he messing everything up just for a lay ? Has he stooped this low ? Why couldn’t he get his libido in check ?

The door opened and closed behind softly and quiet footsteps approached, stopping a few feet from him. He slowly turned to find Ging with an unreadable face yet it was clear he wasn’t backing off. 

Killua swallowed hard and waited, for what he wasn’t sure but Ging seemed to have noticed his sudden change of energy. He got closer to him. "Are you sure you want this ?" He asked genuinely without hiding his personal resolve. 

As he felt Ging body heat near him, his heart started racing back and his mouth was drying up. He knew his voice was momentarily lost so he simply nodded, keeping eye contact with Ging. 

Ging didn’t seem convinced but closed the gap between them looking at Killua's silenced face. The younger boy took a deep breath and bit his lower lips. The doubts in his mind dissipated and were replaced with pure carnal desires. All his previous thoughts had left his brain and was now filling with images of Ging’s lips, his dark eyes, his toned body... 

He wanted Ging. 

He gave him a knowing smile, lifting his hand to hook them behind his head, guiding him to his bed, making sure Ging knew all hesitation had evaporated. 

Ging let him guide him and gently pushed Killua’s shoulder on the bed so he could kiss him the way he had wanted to ever since he entered his room. 

The bed was small and squeaky, but the both of them were too enraptured in one another to really care. Their tongues were searching each other, getting to know the other man in front of them. 

Ging’s hands were slowly finding their way under Killua’s shirt again, like they belonged.

Killua took the hint and quickly discarded his shirt to be bare chest. "You really are beautiful." Ging simply observed kissing the newly skin made accessible.

The gentleness of his kisses and touches made Killua go crazy. He was biting his inner cheek to keep his whines of impatience for more inside. His hands were gripping on Ging’s hair, trying to convey his eagerness through the roughness of his hold.

Ging was smiling between the kisses, perfectly understanding Killua’s restlessness yet refusing to give in. He wanted to make him squirm. The bastard. 

"‘Not fair..." came Killua’s panting voice. "Take your shirt off too." 

Ging rose up to look at his victim. Killua regretted voicing anything as he immediately missed his lips and hands on him. Ging was hovering over him, a hand each side of his waist and an eyebrow hooked up. He was enjoying himself, but he couldn’t hide how aroused he was himself if the bulge in his pants was anything to go by. 

Killua rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Stop making me ask for things !"

At that, Ging let out a little chuckle and complied to Killua’s demand. He straightened up and his shirt joined Killua’s. He went back to kissing him and exploring his soft skin with his hands and lips, trying to find the most sensitive spots, like the inside of his neck, his pink nipples and the tight skin above his hips. Those delirious sensation were easier to handle now that Killua could also caress his muscular back. He took pleasure in tracing the tip of his nails up and down his back, getting a little shudder from Ging each time his hand moved back up.

When his lips reached dangerously close to his waistband, Killua let a groan escape him. This time, Killua wasn’t going to say anything. Ging had to figure it out. 

Ging’s fingers hooked on his waistband and he started to slowly slide down his pants, exposing his white milky skin that Ging took pleasure kissing all the way back up to his inner thigh. There was awe in his eyes as he did so, the same wonder then when he was on the field and excavated what was beneath the sand. Killua couldn't help but blush slightly at being the cause of such lust.

Ging then took down his underwear slowly and locked his eyes on Killua, seeking a permission to touch his erected cock.

Killua nodded. Hot lips went to kiss his inner thighs, his unkept beard stimulating his sensitive skin before Ging's lips reached the base of his cock. His tongue darted and traced his length up and proceeded to tease the head.

"Fuck !" Killua’s head snapped back on his pillow, completely delirious from that attention. Pure exhilaration travelled his whole body, turning him into a useless pile of flesh. His back arched when he felt his mouth open and take him in completely, trembling a the blissful sensation, a guttural sound coming from the back of his throat. The closest to a compliment he could offer.

Ging's mouth warped around him slowly and sensually at first enjoying feeling Killua crumble underneath him.

And then he took up a pace, prompting Killua to snap the back of his hand on his mouth to keep in the throaty noises from escaping. 

As much as this feeling was intoxicating, as much as he could dwell in this blissful connection he couldn’t help but ask for more. 

"G- Ging, there’s-" He swallowed, trying to find his voice. "There’s lube and - _Shit_ \- condoms in the drawer." He managed to say before biting his hand to contain a moan.

He saw Ging’s head pull back from him, lips glistening with saliva.

Killua was expecting him to move toward the desk but instead, to his surprise, he saw him get closer to him, hands finding their way back to cup his face. "We don’t have to do that you know ?" He said, eyes strangely serious.

Killua didn’t understand this sudden hesitation, his mind was too foggy to process his words and all he wanted was to find Ging’s heat again "I want to." And then worry took over "You don’t want…"

"No, that’s not what I’m saying, I just don’t want you to do anything that could make you uncomfortable." Ging's voice, his eyes, his words... Killua couldn't believe he would ever see this side to Ging. 

If his heart wasn’t already racing with supersonic speed, he probably would have noticed it skipping a beat. There was something so endearing in those words, something so foreign to all his previous sexual experiences.

Killua reached up to kiss him softly. And to make his point clear, he started to unbutton Ging's pants. Releasing his hard dick and earning Ging’s first cuss of the night. He kissed his jaw, his cheek and when he got close enough to his ear « I really want to » He whispered between hot breaths. "I haven’t been dicked in a while." He added with a smirk to reassure him he knew what he was asking for.

Ging’s forehead fell on his and he looked him in the eyes searching validation. He closed his eyes when Killua hands started stroking him, taking in the feeling and bitting his lips together, surrendering to the inevitable. He got up to get the tube and a condom. Taking that same moment to pull his pants completely down.

In those few seconds, Killua felt a little chill from the absence of Ging’s body. But he took in the view of the man before him. A muscular figure with beautiful olive skin on which his own complexion contrasted exquisitely.

He straightened up on his arm to take in the rest of his body and his erection that stood proudly. When his eyes moved back up to find him, a soft smile was on Ging’s lips. Eyes flickering between his, taking him in too. He put a knee on the bed between Killua’s legs and cupped his face with one hand, holding the lube and the condom in the other.

He opened his mouth to say something but Killua stopped him "If you ask me if it’s okay one more time, I swear I will hit you with the lube" His voice was a mixture of tease and frustration.

Ging laughed lightly, realizing he might have been overdoing it.

Killua moved further on the bed to give space to Ging who still kept giving little looks for reassurance.

"Just make sure to tell me if…"

"Of course."

They shared another kiss when Killua _finally_ heard the bottle being popped open.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter, please let me know if so !
> 
> I am really enjoying their dynamic, so I hope you are too. Was it too sweet ? Not sweet enough ?  
> What about Pariston ? Do you want more of him ? Do you think he has a master plan or is he just messing with Ging ? 
> 
> Also, I sorta chose not to be too explicit for this story, (something about it feeling more intimate ?), but if you want some sauce let me know.  
> I might add some in the later chapters... 
> 
> Well... a blowjob is sauce... just in this case it was an appetizer. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, kudoing and commenting ! I appreciate it a lot !


	8. Monocausal Explanation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of fluff !  
> And then angst... Coz that's what you signed up for !

**Chapter 08 - Monocausal Explanation**

"Fuck, I could go for a smoke now..."

"You smoke ?"

"Not anymore..."

Ging straightened up to take a better look at Killua who had said those words without expecting a reaction, he was mostly thinking out loud trying to fill the silence with anything, a little unsure of what to do with Ging still in his bed, the both of them, still lying naked, looking at the ceiling. 

But he felt calm, all the tension in his body had been released and he was now surfing in that blissful state where all his limbs were lax and his mind was floating and free from any useless thoughts. Free to enjoy the simplest things, like the heartbeat of the person next to him and the soft fingers playing with his. 

If Killua was honest with himself, it was the first time his post coital state was so serene. He half expected Ging to leave the minute they had roughly cleaned up, but instead he saw him get back in the tiny bed next to him, opening his arm to let Killua rest his head in the crook of his shoulder. 

Their hands had locked on their own, without either of them looking for the other. It felt like that’s what they were meant to do now that they had shared that intimacy. 

But Killua’s words had slightly broken that peaceful state. Ging was now wearing a serious face and Killua felt he had opened a can of worms with his blunt honesty. 

"How old were you the first time- ?" 

"Fifteen" Killua answered without letting Ging finish the sentence, what was the point? He immediately understood where he was going. After all, wasn’t their age an issue from the start ?

And Ging’s answer was no surprise either "that’s young..."

Killua smiled knowingly. "I used to hang out a lot with my older brother’s crowd. I never really felt young if I’m being honest."

That perked Ging’s eyebrow up. "So your first was..."

"A girl from high school a year older than me. Very pretty and very forward... It was awkwardly fast though." This time he smiled to try to cover the embarrassment on his face. He had fond memories of his first time with Canary, they did stay in contact after that. 

No more comments came from Ging, he only listened with a lot of attention to him. Killua figured his answers were surprising to say the least, but there was no judgment in his eyes and that prompted Killua to keep sharing, lulled in Ging’s arms. 

"I actually walked in on my eldest brother getting fucked by his boyfriend once. That was traumatic." 

"Traumatic..." Ging repeated, with a little tease in his voice at the strong choice of word. 

"Yeah it was." He pushed Ging’s face playfully away from him. "But at least he became less intimidating to me after that."

Ging leaned to give him an endearing kiss on his temple. 

"I used to see my brother as this untouchable figure. Someone that had no vulnerability... his friends all seemed so intimidating, too. All from rich families with high ambitions. He used to have them over at our house whenever our parents would leave. That’s when I started drinking and smoking, to make myself belong with them." His mind was reminiscing those times when he searched for illumi's validation, because his brother looked like he had things figured out, because he had friends, or acquaintances. And a specific memory passed by "One of his friends was a beautiful androgynous and I had that stupid crush on him."

Killua couldn’t stop himself from blurting out all of this. He never talked about those days to anyone, Gon knew about it, they were friends during these days but were in different high schools and couldn’t see each other as much anymore. 

Ging’s silence and his fingers caressing him gently was all the invitation he needed to keep going. 

"That’s when I figured I didn’t care about gender really. He was the first boy I slept with."

He felt Ging hand tense a little bit at that "how old were you ?"

"Sixteen"

"And-?"

Killua rolled his eyes. "He was 24, I know what you’re thinking... but I’m the one that made the move..." Not unlike how _this_ happened, he kept himself from adding. He knew it was fundamentally wrong but he didn’t want to look at it this way. Maybe a part of him was afraid to think about it too much. 

Ging shifted uncomfortably. His lips pressed into a thin line, keeping himself from saying anything because he couldn’t without sounding hypocrite.

"What about you ?" Killua asked, wanting to shift the conversation. He didn’t want to tell Ging about all the things he’d done before turning eighteen. 

To Killua’s relief, Ging didn’t push the matter "Me ? What do you want to know ?"

Killua pondered before saying. "First time was a girl or a boy ?"

"A girl."

"Ah. How old were you ?"

"eighteen" his voice lingered. 

"Oh"

A long awkward silence stretched between them. Killua did the math in his head, Ging had Gon at eighteen, so his first was Gon’s mom. 

Killua shifted away from Ging slightly. He wasn’t sure why, out of respect at the sudden reminder that he was screwing with Gon’s dad maybe ? It left a little aftertaste in his mouth he couldn’t stomach. 

Gon never talked about his mom. She died before he could have made any memories with her. He found himself wondering if Ging would still want to be with her if she was alive. He expected to feel a tinge of jealousy at that... but he only felt sadness. 

An apology was at the tip of his tongue, but Ging kissed him before letting it escape and then shook his head slightly. Did he guess what Killua wanted to say ?

Killua bit his lips uncomfortably and Ging moved to get closer, hovering over him and stroking his bangs away from his forehead. The way he looked at him spoke more than anything he could have said and Killua felt his heartbeat speed back up to an alarming pace. Ging was a man of few words, but filled with intense emotion that he didn’t know how to take in. 

"You know, I’ve actually never been with a guy before. Well, to be fair, haven’t been ´dating’ much either…" 

The revelation was said simply, like he was speaking of the weather. He was so comfortable with who he was that there was no place for shame and hesitation in his statement. 

Killua swallowed hard at that and weirdly wished Ging had been his first too. All his other experiences felt so empty and vain now. 

He wanted to say something back to Ging, something meaningful but nothing would leave his mouth and he instead averted his eyes, not being able to take in that burning gaze. It was too much, too intense for something that didn’t have a name yet. 

But he couldn’t stop a small smile from forming on his face. 

Ging wasn’t waiting for any reply from him, he leaned in to kiss his cheek before sitting up and reaching for his pants pocket to fetch his phone. He looked at the time and Killua noticed a dozen unread messages on Ging’s phone. 

After discarding his phone, putting it on the nightstand, he turned to Killua with that intense gaze of his, pinning Killua into silence. He knew Ging was getting ready to leave and he still had question to asks when Ging gave him an open mouthed kiss on the shoulder and then rose up to kiss him on the mouth before pulling off with a little sigh « It’s almost 4:30 already, they will all be coming back soon.» His voice was low, like he didn’t want to break the bubble they had created for themselves. "We should probably get moving now." Ging got up and started dressing up.

Killua hummed, he was trying to shut the voices in his own head, asking him what was going to happen next. He usually didn’t care about the aftermath but this was different, this was already more intimate than any other experience he had. And he was literally stuck in the middle of the desert with this man. 

"Yeah sure." He went to grab his shirt, pondering Ging’s words to him when he stopped dramatically turning to Ging with wide eyes.

Ging blinked, confused "what ?"

A mischievous smiled appeared on Killua’s face as he rose up on his knees to meet Ging’s face. He jabbed a finger at Ging's chest "I actually have more experience than you at sex with men." He said gleefully. 

Ging pushed him back on the bed with feigned annoyance "shut up !"

But Killua was enjoying himself too much and he got on his elbow to add with a cocky grin "In bed, I’m _your_ superior." 

And that ticked Ging off who dropped himself on him, pinning him and fake armwrestling him "don’t turn this into a kink." He said before starting to tickle Killua. 

Fits of laughter echoed in the small room as Killua tried to protect himself by placing his knee between them and attempting to push him away. "Oh my god, do you even know about the p-spot ?" he said with tears in his eyes. 

"You’re enjoying this aren’t you, you little shit !" But Ging's smile was just as big as his. 

Killua laughters turned quickly into cries of mercy "stop, stop it !" His face was now all red and flustered and his breathing was heavy but a huge smile was on his face. He wiped the tears in the corner of his eyes. 

Ging didn’t hesitate a second before pulling him into a long lingering kiss. Enjoying those last moments of proximity.

Killua smiled against his lips. 

"Would you want to bottom ?" Killua asked almost innocently. Almost. 

Ging couldn’t hold a little laugh back. "Of course I would. If that’s something you want."

It wasn’t much, but it did make him feel better about all the questions in his head. 

And Killua head fell back on the bed dramatically dragging Ging with him. "That’s so romantic" he said a hand to his heart to add in the act. 

"Come on! Let’s move !" Ging was trying to pull Killua out of bed while the younger boy was playfully letting himself be a dead weight to make Ging struggle even more "Aren’t you getting hungry?" 

After a few tries, he managed to get him out of his bed and threw his pants at him which Killua caught with a smile. 

—-

After finally moving out of the room, Ging and Killua parted ways. Ging in direction to his own room and Killua to the common bathrooms. 

He took a quick shower and changed clothes to prepare himself for dinner.

As he was drying his hear with a towel, he started to hear commotion in the kitchen. The interns were all getting back little groups by little groups and the common rooms were quickly filled with people preparing food and others moving in to the dining area. 

Killua tried to get by as casually as possible, he was still feeling light headed from his earlier rush and slightly self-conscious of the other interns' presence. He quickly grabbed a plate and piled on it whatever food he could find, not bothering to cook anything for himself. 

He immediately spotted Gon already sitting at a table on his own and going through his sketchbook. He always took that spot when he was enraptured in his notes and books. Everyone knew by now it meant he preferred being alone but Killua also knew he was the only exception to that rule. 

When Killua arrived to sit next to him, Gon head lifted and his brows furrowed.

"Okay, who did you have sex with ?"

Killua almost dropped his plate and his jaw on the flood before looking around and sitting as close as possible to his friend. "How do you do that ?" He yelled whispered.

Gon laughed with some pride. "You forget that I’m your best friend" he started before explaining himself and pointing at his face "you have your giddy smile and afterglow, am I right to assume it was really good ?" He took a bite of his chicken. "I was wondering where you went in the afternoon, I guess now I have my answer." And he dared to smirk at him. 

As much as he would have loved to smile and share with his friend, Killua was starting to feel more uncomfortable thinking back of his time with Ging, next to Gon. He honestly didn’t regret it, but guilt was creeping in. 

"So who’s the lucky one ? Is it Spinner ?" Gon was looking around the room trying to find someone with the same guilty face on them. He hummed to himself "No... Spinner was the one to cleaning duty today..."

A mild panic got to Killua, he really wasn’t ready for that conversation with Gon. "It’s no one let it be." 

Gon paused to look at his friend. "That’s new, why are you so secretive ?" 

Killua couldn’t meet his eyes and started to play with his food trying to ignore Gon scrutinizing him. His fork was moving around the fruits he had absentmindedly piled on his plate and as he was poking at one lonely apricot.

"So, are you trying to tell me it was a guy ?" Gon mused pointing at the apricot, which made Killua’s face feel it was set on fire. 

He turned in horror to Gon. "You’re so crude ! I can’t believe you sometimes!" But a chuckle escaped him nonetheless. Gon was curious about everything, even the things he didn’t care to experience.

"But seriously killua, I’ve never seen you so flustered about a hookup, who is it ?" he was back at eyeing the crowd trying to add 2 and 2. He was clearly not finding the right match. "Who wasn’t in the lab that afternoon" he started thinking out loud. 

Killua eyed him from the side, trying to find any sort of alibi. Gon had a scary memory of faces and names and Killua couldn’t help thinking back at the bar, he had never explained to Gon his strange behavior back then… If Gon started to think of what happened there...

And he saw realization dawn in Gon’s eyes and he could almost hear the click inside his friend’s head.

Killua swallowed nervously, but he had barely any saliva left in his dry mouth. When their eyes locked, it was clear to the both of them they were thinking of the same person now. 

Gon turned to look at his food like it was an alien discovery he was considering throwing into the trash. His fingers were playing with his tray in a nervous manner. "Ging..." he whispered before inhaling the air he needed to process the info.

Killua felt his stomach plummet and his blood turn to ice. His mouth opened but he was at a loss of words. How could he explain this to Gon ? He barely knew how to explain it to himself.

He saw Gon get up, his face unreadable, and he walked straight to the outside door, leaving his food barely touched behind him.

Killua bolted behind him "wait, gon !" He called, trying to ignore their friends' puzzled looks at them. 

And just like if they were in a bad soap opera, Ging happened to get inside as they were leaving.

It all happened in slow motion. He saw Gon turn an angry look at Ging who had been oblivious until that moment. 

And then, he saw Ging's expression turn from nonchalance to worry and when he crossed eyes with Killua he saw guilt in his eyes. 

But Ging wasn’t important now, so Killua simply gave an apologetic smile and sprinted behind Gon who’s fast pace had him already a few meters ahead of him. 

He felt Ging eyes linger on his back. 

Shit was hitting the fan faster than he could have ever anticipated. 

He followed Gon past the main street and saw him turn to a more calm alley where a few cats walked around playing with some empty plastic bags. 

Once he finally caught up to Gon, he saw him turn so fast that Killua almost had a heart-attack. 

"GING ?!?!?" He screamed and Killua didn’t stop to think that this might have been the first time he heard Gon’s voice be so angry at him. "What were you thinking ! He’s the lead archeologist of this project !"

Killua blinked at him in surprise. Somehow that was the last thing he expected Gon to say.

"I- I know."

"What will people say about you if they find out ? It’s- I know you don’t care about age... but he’s 37 Killua !"

"I- I’m sorry." He didn’t know why he needed to be sorry for that in particular so he added. "And he’s your father too... you have every right to be mad at me."

Gon stopped surprised at Killua’s words. "He is _not_ my father." His voice was much lower now, but there was still anger in it. 

He felt he had somehow made things worse by bringing that fact up and Killua didn’t know where to go from there. So he stayed silent, shoulder slouching and waiting for Gon to let everything out of his chest. 

Accepting his faith.

Gon lifted his hands to his hair and started ruffling through them "I'm not mad... I’m just... I don’t know... weirded out I guess."

Killua leaned on the stoned wall next to them, his head hitting the stones behind him before sliding down, he brought his hands to his face in guilt. "Fuck! I know, you’re right! This is all weird… I’m a mess." A mess couldn’t start to describe how he felt. He was so frustrated with himself. 

He heard Gon sigh next to him. He knew his friend well and he rarely saw Killua so confused, except when he had to deal with his own family... but that was a whole different issue. 

A pinch of pity took over him before he sat down next to him in silence. The news was so surprising to him, especially since Killua seemed so... happy about it. Well, at least until Gon had figured out who the other person was. 

The fact that it was Ging made him worry. Ging was a great archeologist, but he was a shitty dad. What kind of lover would he be to Killua ? 

"Are you crying ?" he finally said, half seriously. 

Killua's head snapped up "no!" he almost yelled in indignation as if it was the most absurd assumption possible. But he found Gon smiling softly at him. Making the guilt grow that much more. "Gosh... I’m so sorry Gon."

"I said I wasn’t mad, not at you at least… and I don’t think of Ging as my dad. It is weird tho." He took a pause, frowning "honestly, I’m worried about you... He shouldn’t have let that happen."

A little breeze blew between them that made the plastic bag fly away and the cats followed after it.

Gon really was a great friend, he always put Killua before him and that just made him feel even more shameful. "Don’t be, it’s not like that, I’m the one who... you know... started it all" he lowered his head, ashamed of his uncontrolled libido. 

Another long pause. Gon didn’t like that awkwardness between him and his best friend. Finding out that Killua had a crush on Ging all this time and kept it to himself. They shared everything, talked about everything. He didn’t know how he felt about someone else creeping their way in his heart like that. It never happened before, Killua never cared much about his hookups.

"Are you into him because he looks like me ?" he said an eyebrow hooked up, teasing him while trying to break the tension.

"Shut up!" killua bursted out in laughter. "You’re so ridiculous!" He smacked his hands on his face trying to hide his embarrassment to Gon. It would be a lie to say he never had a crush on Gon.

"Is he nice to you at least ?" Gon continued more seriously.

A fond smile appeared on Killua's face, remembering the event of barely a few hours ago "in his own weird way, yeah. He’s hmm... nice in private." Ging had been incredibly gentle with him, something that was to be just sexual somehow became more. "I think he gets too self conscious with people around." 

Gon’s worried look didn’t leave him, he crossed his legs and leaned on them, trying to find the right words "just, be careful. He doesn’t seem the kind of guy to have a serious relationship."

He heard killua smirk at him "well you know me, not my type either."

"I do know you." 

Killua sighed, Gon could always read him like an open book. It was unsettling sometimes, how he knew him better than he knew himself. "It doesn’t matter. We are leaving in 6 weeks anyway" he stated the facts. It was easier than to figure his feelings out.

"So it’s not a one time thing huh ?"

"I don’t think so" they haven’t addressed the matter and he couldn’t deal with these thoughts and Gon finding out all in the same day. This long ass day. He needed to make sure Gon was alright before he ever considered pursuing anything. "Gon..."

Gon turned to lock eyes with him. "You know I can end this now if you want. You know what our friendship means to me..."

Gon shook his head no, not even letting him finish. He knew how easily Killua could forget about himself for Gon’s sake. He selfishly enjoyed that, made him feel special. But it wasn’t fair to Killua. 

"I just... really wished I wanted the same things you did... and that I could give them to you." He simply said, a little sadness was there in his voice and it pierced through Killua’s already too fragile heart. 

They never talked about that, it wasn’t a problem really, Gon would always be important to him. No matter what.

"I don’t" came his answer "I’d probably find a way to screw everything up."

—-

The sun was now setting, Gon and Killua had gotten to eat outside, away from the others. They needed that time alone, Gon because he had to process the news and Killua because he couldn’t face anyone else questioning him. 

When Killua finally got to his room that night, he felt like a whole week had passed in a single day. So much had happened that his mind hadn’t been able to grasp if any of it was even real. 

He looked at his undone bed and memories of his time with Ging in those sheets took over him. He laid down and dropped his head on his cushion. He tried to take a whiff of Ging’s scent and the exotic smell took over him, both soothing him and arousing him. Cementing reality. 

He found some left over energy to push back from his mattress to change into his night clothes. He lied down on his bed once more, looking at the ceiling and trying to wrap himself in the lingering warmth on his sheets. 

He hadn't crossed Ging that evening, after his time with Gon. And he did think it was better this way, for them to keep apart when others were around. He didn’t know if he could contain himself now that they had slept together and just the smell of him could prompt a boner. 

A little voice in his head tried to warn him that there might not be a next time. That this might be all he would get. Gon had warned him too. But another more visceral part of him was telling him that this couldn’t be it. The way Ging touched him, talked to him, held him… It didn’t feel like a one time experience. It felt like the beginning of something. 

But that didn’t make it any less scary to Killua. He wasn’t sure what would be worse, not seeing Ging again or spending more time with him. There was a reason why Killua never pursued a relationship, why he would avoid talking to the people he had slept with before. Sure, part of it was he never felt this strongly about someone and when he did, the sex would be enough to satisfy him. 

The truth was, he was scared of letting people get too close to him. As if people only cared about his mysterious front and if they ever got to know him, they’d be disappointed to find a normal guy with his own insecurities. 

But Ging read him the first time they had a one on one talk. Ging had already been inside his head before any of this started. And Ging hadn’t been shy to show his own vulnerability to him. To share his own little secrets. 

He turned on his side biting his lips trying to go to sleep. But his mind wouldn’t let him, after tossing and turning a few more times he finally decided he needed to see Ging again and he had a hunch the man was still awake. 

He got up and quickly wore some pants over his boxers before leaving his room to find the kitchen and the dining area. There was no sign of anyone. He looked around before heading outside on the terrace.

No one was there either… 

His heart sank and he realized that he had no way to communicate with Ging if the man himself didn’t engage. The voice in his head came back, telling him that maybe Ging was avoiding him. But the rational part of him knew it hadn’t even been a full day, Ging had things to do, and as passionate as he was with his job, the man did need to sleep like any other humans. 

He fidgeted in place, pondering the idea of going to find Ging’s room. After all, didn’t Ging swept inside his room when he wanted to ? 

But Killua shook his head and went back to his room. 

Tomorrow he would try to talk to Ging. 

\---

When morning came, Killua went about his usual routine. 

He took his stuff to the common bathroom, said hello to his fellow interns then headed to have breakfast. All while trying not to seem like he was looking for a certain archeologist with an unkept beard. 

"He’s already on site, Kite told me so" Gon’s voice came next to him before leading them to an empty table. 

Killua took a deep breath before following him and sitting down. He was being too obvious and he needed to take it chill. 

"So… more sketching today you think ?" He asked, not really caring for the answer. 

"Probably…" And then Gon’s eyes grew wide "Is that why he gave us that assignment ?" He looked up at Killua with a frown on his face but a smile ready to break if Killua confirmed this absurdity. When Killua stayed silent, Gon just laughed lightly "I did find it odd he’d just randomly send us there. Not that I’m complaining." 

"Yeah okay, let’s not talk about all of this. I was trying to divert the subject." All the roads let to Rome, they said… fuck. It seemed his mind wouldn’t get a break until he could talk to Ging at some point. 

But he never got a chance that day. Ging was welcoming some new scientists on the field and giving them a tour. Whenever he was alone, it would be to talk on the phone. Which he noticed became more frequent than before. 

The project was growing in importance and they had to bring more people. It made sense, he tried to tell himself. 

That was Tuesday evening, Ging was having dinner with the new recruits outside their housing. The students were talking about how big the project was getting and how lucky they were to be part of it. 

The project was becoming bigger and Killua just felt himself becoming smaller. 

Wednesday wasn’t any different. Ging was busier than ever. Even Ata Kaleb had mentioned how hard it was for him to have his tea with Ging these days. So Killua convinced himself it wasn’t personal. He wasn’t avoiding him. He didn’t give him any weird assignments either. He was treating him normally. _Too normally_. Killua refused to dwell too much on that. 

That evening, he offered a few people to eat out. To avoid disappointment. 

Thursday, they talked once. Ging went over to him and Gon to ask for the most recent sketches. He was mostly talking to Gon really but Killua stopped what he was doing in the hope that they would have a moment, an eye contact. 

It never came, Ging left without turning back, with the papers he had asked for. 

Killua tried to hold a sharp breath in, tried not to feel annoyed. He wasn’t annoyed though. He was feeling pathetic and having Gon’s gaze on him made everything worse. 

He hated how his mind had been invaded by Ging. How his infatuation became so much worse the moment they had slept together and how this distance was nothing less than torture. He wanted a reason, any reason to talk to him. He tried to focus on the project and find something, anything. 

But as the project expended, Killua’s grasp on it as a whole lessened. 

He was after all, just an intern. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little revelation happening !  
> Did you expect Gon to find out so soon ?  
> And what is up with Ging ? 
> 
> I'm going to take a longer break for the next chapter.  
> I going on vacation in a few days and I want to empty my brain a little.  
> And I also need to tie in certain things before next chapter ! 
> 
> Thank you for the comments and the kuddos !  
> Thank you for reading and keeping me motivated to continue. 
> 
> I really hope you are enjoying this crazy ride !


	9. Multicausal Explanation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while !  
> I haven't given up on this but I do need to slow down in general so next chapters will take a month in average from now on. 
> 
> But super eager to share this chapter !  
> Please enjoy !

**Chapter 09 - Multicausal Explanation**

"Princess Camelia is organizing a party ?" Gon’s voice chirped in as his head popped over Killua’s shoulders while he was reading the news on his phone. 

"Yeah… She’s raising funds or something. I mean, they all throw parties every few weeks. It doesn't sound like a big deal" but when Killua scrolled down the article, it sounded like the event of the year and a list of important people and celebrities followed to mark the point. 

Killua discarded his phone annoyed by the uselessness of it. He was merely reading out of boredom. It had been now five full days since he had sex with Ging and all he had were very minimal interactions with the archeologist. The whole situation was still a sore subject. The first few days, he sought his attention but now he felt like hiding in a hole every time he saw Ging or heard his name being mentioned. 

He had come to the conclusion that it was never meant to be more, or at the very least, that’s what he was trying to tell himself because he couldn’t get the guts to confront Ging. Not anymore. 

"Do you think she will invite Ging for that event ?" Gon had taken his phone in the meantime to look more into it. He still had this desire to solve the puzzle of this succession war. 

Killua hummed ignoring the sting in his heart when the dreaded name was mentioned. "Maybe, she’s trying to set herself up with some politicians apparently… There's always intention behind all these events" Amongst the people expected were some important representatives of surrounding countries and even Padokea.

"I would love to attend… it’s in four weeks. We would still be in Kakin." Killua turned to look at Gon who’s eyes were focused on the screen. He didn’t bother to answer or even grunt at this point, he wasn’t sure Gon was listening anyway. And he definitely didn’t have much energy left.

That Friday was particularly hot and they had spent the morning in the lab. After dinner they were given the afternoon off to catch up on readings. Some of the interns took that moment to nap but Killua struggled to go to his room if he wasn’t dead tired. He leisured in the living room with Gon. 

Once the sun had set, he went to walk around in town, avoiding the desert and all its memories, to take some fresh air to tire himself before going to bed.

An hour of aimless wandering had passed before he decided to head back. As he crossed the living room, he saw most of the interns gathered around Kite who was talking about something. Everyone looked hooked on his every word and next to him was Ging, a beer in his hand looking annoyed. 

If he hadn’t hesitated, he might have managed to get to his room without a problem but Pokkle raised his hand enthusiastically at him, Gon next to him had an apologetic smile.

"Hey don’t go to bed just yet ! Kite is telling us stories about his field experiences, he’s even giving us some fun ones about Ging !"

He felt trapped now, in the corner of his eyes he saw Ging looking at him before taking another sip of his beer and turning away from him. He couldn’t leave without making things weirder than they were so he got closer and took a seat next to Pokkle who moved away to give him some space. He got a few smiles from his peers before they settled their attention back to Kite who had a little smile on his face. 

"Where was I ?" He asked. 

"About the channel approaching Doctor Ging for a TV show" Banana said, eyes glowing with wonder. 

"I can’t imagine Doctor Ging on a TV show..." Lin said in a low voice but Ging grunted at him having perfectly heard him. 

Kite gave Ging a look, inviting him to take the lead in the story but the man crossed his arms and shrugged, trying to stay as aloof as possible while people were dissecting his career. 

Killua played with his fingers, wanting suddenly to have a beer to hold or anything.

"Well he refused immediately, and not so politely if I may add, but that’s because at that time, Ging had this explorer phase where he sought out every legend and wanted to prove that they had roots in real archeology."

Another grunt came from Ging who frowned at him. All the students turned to him, both fascinated and curious about his reaction. He raised an eyebrow and finally decided to speak "on’t do what I did, it was stupid… and unprofessional" He added with a side glance at Killua who barely managed to swallow the lump in his throat. 

"So what legends did you pursue ?" Banana was almost jumping in her seat. Killua couldn’t help but see some of Gon in her. 

It had been days now since he had been in such close proximity to Ging, days since he heard him speak more than a few words. The prospect of listening to his voice was both alluring and frightening. He couldn’t ignore how it affected, couldn’t withhold the memories of how different it was when it was just the two of them. 

Ging stayed stubbornly silent which Kite took as a cue for him to answer instead, to both Killua’s relief and disappointment. "There was the M-sui tribe that believed a formation of gigantic stones were placed by Giants… Ging managed to prove how that formation happened." He saw Ging roll his eyes at him while everyone smiled in awe. For some reason, those stories weren’t part of Ging’s resume and Killua had never heard of them. 

"Were there any mysteries you never were able to solve ?" Spinner winked at Killua knowingly as she popped another one of her bubblegum balloons. Killua gave her a soft smile before turning his attention back to Kite who stayed silent trying to gage Ging’s reaction. 

"Well there was the Winter Flower of Mont Verista." That had Ging shifting on his seat and turning at Kite to mumble something. Kite ignored him "It was a huge project for which he needed to raise a lot of funds and preparation." 

Gon trepidation was palpable next to Killua. "What’s the Winter Flower ? I’ve never heard of it !"

"That’s because it doesn’t exist" Ging finally decided to take the lead in the story telling. His voice was sullom like it was a big stain on his life achievement he’d rather forget. "It wasn’t a normal legend tho, a lot of evidence from historical recording said it existed and only bloomed at the top of Mont Verista. A flower at such high was scientifically impossible. But all the Shepdas living in that area believed it existed. I had no doubt I was capable of finding it."

"So you climbed that mountain ? Isn’t it the highest peak of the Yorbian Continent ?"

Ging smiled at that comment. "Which is why I trained for a full year. I was much younger back then but I didn’t go alone, at least not for the first 3000m, I had a small team, but the last bit I did on my own." He shook his head as he recalled that time. "My oxygen mask actually froze a 100m before getting to the top, but I had packed a second one that I had almost discarded as useless. Every milligram of extra weight counts." 

"So no flowers ?" 

"Nothing. It was just ice and snow. I couldn’t stay up there too long, time was of the essence, but the legend said the flower bloomed on the longest day of summer, and there was nothing." He paused for a few seconds, eyes lost. "But the way the light hit the snow, it did shimmer in an odd way, different shades of blues and dark indigos. The rock of that mountain has the only natural blue pigment in it. Indigo powder it’s called. I assumed that when the sun is at that angle, it hits it in a way that maybe people used to believe were flowers." 

"So what happened ?"

Ging shrugged. "Nothing. When I came down to say there was no flower, the team was disappointed and the investors were of course frustrated, the media only published a small article that went unnoticed because that same week an avalanche had hit a village . After that I decided to stop playing that game and took on more respectable archaeological projects."

"That’s when you settled in Vinyan for a while" Kite continued, getting to the part where they met the first time before Kite even considered being an archeologist himself. He looked at the two men’s closeness, how well Kite seemed to know Ging. A feeling akin to jealousy made it’s way in Killua’s heart, a stupid childish feeling. Kite had been nothing but supportive to him. 

There was no competition to be, Kite was a long term colleague. He was an intern unsure if he was even going to pursue a career in archeology. And that made him afraid of becoming a meaningless memory to Ging.

He observed how Ging looked at Kite, trying to find another reason for Ging to ignore him. Maybe Ging had feelings for Kite. But all he saw were his eyes glistening slightly and unfocused. And that intrigued him, was there something about that mission Ging regretted ?

Something made Killua feel it wasn’t as simple as sadness. Another mystery laid behind that story and he would never get to share it with Ging. 

\---

Another slow weekend was on them and Killua did his laundry early and found himself with a lot of free time. 

He went to find some interns to try to convince them to go on a small trip or any excuse to get out of the house. But the heat had been unbearable and they all turned him down out of laziness or just having chores to attend. 

Killua slouched on the couch, annoyed with all this free time he had been wanting and nothing to do with it. Spinner came to sit next to him. She put her arms behind her and crossed a leg over her knee and waited for Killua to look at her. 

"Bored I suppose ?" 

Killua gave her a small smile, he couldn’t be too bitchy about the situation. It was no one’s fault but his own. "Want to try to borrow a scooter and skip town ?" He tried, knowing her answer.

"I’m on cleaning duty today but I’m surprised you suddenly feel adventurous, you’ve been pretty moody these past days. Want to talk it out ?" 

"Moody ?" he frowned, not sure how he had been coming across as that. "I’m not moody… I’m just..." confused, tired, can’t figure out what I want anymore or why I even took this internship. But he couldn’t open that box, not here and not with Spinner. No matter how genuine she sounded, this had nothing to do with her. 

"Bored ?" She offered again. 

He nodded slowly, deciding that that word would do for now. 

"You can always help me clean the kitchen."

His eyebrow rose suspiciously at her. "Was that your plan all along ?" He smirked at her.

"Maybe."

She gave him a cheeky grin before she got up, popped her infamous gum balloon. "If the kitchen sounds unmanly to Mister Trouble Maker, you can always go find Mister Kite and see if he needs any help."

She didn’t wait for a reaction from him as she walked in direction of where her chore was waiting for her. 

But she did make a point, he had to occupy himself. He took a deep breath and got up to cross the living room and get to the staff area.

He walked through the corridor that led to Ging’s office, a part of him wished he would find him but he didn’t have time to hope too much as right around the corner he bumped into Kite who was reading his papers.

"Oh sorry, didn’t see you there." He paused to look at Killua more intently. "What are you doing here ?" he added. 

"Actually I was looking for you." He took a quick look behind Kite, trying to see if a certain someone was with him. The corridor behind him was empty. "I was wondering if you’d have anything I could help you with ?" He felt stupid asking it like that but he really was getting desperate. 

For a minute, he was afraid Kite would pry as to why he came to ask him that. 

"Well that’s great, I just printed those charts and it would help me if you brought them to Ging, he’s working at the lab."

Kite gave him the papers and Killua looked at them dumbfounded "I was looking for something to do here maybe ?" 

His voice was so unsure that he wasn’t surprised to receive a suspicious look from Kite "Is something wrong ?"

"No, not at all." he rolled the papers and gave a few taps on them, trying to act casual. "’ll be on my way." A plastic smile as he started stepping backwards.

"You know the code of the main door ?" Kite made sure.

"Yeah". He sighed and turned to leave, regretting ever getting up from the living room or refusing to help Spinner. Would that qualify as Karma ? 

It was inevitable that he’d find himself in a situation like this. After all, he was still here for the next 5 weeks or so but he wished he could push that moment as far as possible. He needed time to be okay with what had happened. 

When he got in front of the lab, he tapped in the code and with a soft click, it opened to the little entry hall where you could leave your bags. A row of lab tables were aligned all cleaned up, except for the furthest one where he saw Ging looking in a microscope, a notebook next to him and a pen at the edge of the table. Threatening to fall just like his pounding heart. 

Ging was concentrating and hadn’t noticed Killua entering. He couldn’t hold back a little smile at the sight of that messy looking man so devoted to his passion. He had been his passion for one night and it hurt to think it was over. 

He wanted nothing more than to drop those papers and wrap his arms around him. 

But he held himself into place and coughs softly to make himself heard. It echoed around them but Ging barely moved, didn’t bother to turn to see who was the intruder. He was expecting the papers, it didn’t matter who was bringing them "put the papers on the table. Thank you." He said before adding a note on his little book.

Killua felt the little illusions he had shattered. He had wished that Ging would have recognized him, just by his presence, just by his footsteps or his cough.

He got closer and dropped the papers where he had asked him. That brief breach of Ging’s space made him look up immediately, his eyes finding Killua’s. "Killua." He breathed out. It wasn’t a question, or a surprise. It was just another observation. 

Ging took the papers without dropping his gaze from Killua who he had frozen into space. "How have you been ?" He asked. His voice was soft, neutral. He didn’t know what to think of it, his heart was pounding so hard in his chest, they haven’t been this close since the night they spent together and seeing him so calm was unnerving. 

He hated being too weak to ignore his question and leave, to act the same way he had been acting those past days.

"Hum fine I guess. I'm really just here for the papers. Kite asked me so... I’ll get out of your way." He gave a little tap on the table and turned to leave.

"You don’t seem fine." 

Killua closed his eyes for a second to summon the strength to turn back and answer him, unable to keep his frustration out of his tone "Look ! I get it, this was a one time thing... a way to get it out of your system. This isn’t my first time, we don’t need to make a big deal out of it." 

"Get you out of my system ?"

Killua nodded his lips tight and made a move to leave. 

Ging’s hand grabbed him by the arm. He could feel Ging’s heat on his back and the temptation to just let himself fall into his chest was too enticing but the urge to put an end to this bullshit made him try to rip his arm away. Before he could, Ging’s chest connected with his back and his arms wrapped around him shattering all intention to free himself.

"You really are impatient huh ?" He smirked in his ear. "If anything I am even more addicted to you."

_That fucking asshole._ "What the fuck are you playing at ?" His eyes were burning him now and he had to swallow the lump in his throat to allow those words to get past. 

"I'm not playing."

Killua closed his eyes again cursing inside. "Then what are you doing exactly ? Because I really like you. I’m not pretending…it wasn’t a fling." It took all he had to say it. All he could not to run away and hide. All his energy to push those feelings away because it exhausted him . 

Being around him exhausted him. 

Ging took that brief opportunity to turn him and kiss him softly, pushing him gently on the table.

Killua let it happen, he was too weak to refuse that attention he had been looking for. Trying to sooth a little of his hunger, trying to take whatever he could get in that moment of vulnerability. 

"I wasn’t pretending either…" Ging pulled back to say. He locked his eyes in his before resuming on giving him soft pecks. There wasn’t any demand or possessiveness in those touches, it felt like he was trying to comfort him. Adding to the confusion. 

Before he could let himself succumb, he wrenched himself away or he would have slackened like a lifeless puppet with broken strings. 

His eyes still showed anger but his hands were still wanting and grabbing at his shirt. 

" _What_ are you doing ?"

There was a little hesitation in Ging’s eyes when his mouth opened to speak but nothing came out. He watched Ging’s lips pinch before he finally said with a hint of annoyance. "So you really are mad I didn’t give you attention ?" 

That fueled Killua’s anger even more "Of course I’m mad. Will you stop being so cryptic ? I don’t understand what’s going on." And the last words came out a little broken as sadness quickly replaced his anger. 

To his surprise Ging eyes shimmered for a fraction of a second and Killua’s fingers played with the fabric of his shirts hesitating between soothing him or pushing him away for good. 

He heard Ging sigh before he could make his decision. 

"I don’t know killua. It’s all new to me too." His hands dropped to settle on the table behind Killua. "But one thing is clear… I can’t give you what you want. My responsibilities and job comes first." He paused a few seconds before speaking up again in a more serious tone. "And if this affects you, or your friendships..."

_Friendships_ … "Is this about Gon ? I didn’t tell him anything. He found out on his own, I swear." Why had that never crossed his mind before ? How self-centered could he really be ?

Ging looked at him and for a moment Killua thought he might have been doubting his words and that Ging couldn’t trust this secret to be safe with him, and that hurt. But Ging's eyes were focused, like they understood something he couldn’t. 

"It’s only part of it. This." He pointed to the both of them. "This is what you are signing up for. It’s going to be messy and frustrating because I can’t give you what you want. I can’t give you the attention you want." 

"I don’t want…" But Killua couldn’t finish that sentence without it being a lie… He wanted his attention… wanted his affection. But was that really what got him mad ? Because somehow finding out that Ging was purposely avoiding him to keep faces soothed his growing paranoia. 

Ging straightened up and his hands left the table to fall to his side. He turned his head to look quickly at the door and then met Killua’s eyes again. "This is a mistake and we shouldn’t be pretending it's not." He said in a solemn voice, he wasn’t hiding how hard it was for him to say it out loud. And that only made it harder for Killua to swallow. 

His own hands dropped from his shirt and went to grip at the table behind him, feeling a little dizzy all of the sudden. He needed to grip on something because he hadn’t expected this to hurt so much. To feel like a cold shower had fallen on him and drowned his heart out in the process. 

His eyes stung so badly and he had to blink a few times before finding a little composure. He came to him knowing it was already over, why was it feeling like a breakup when he had already accepted it was nothing more than a one night stand ? Had he been so naively hopeful ? 

"I’m sorry" Ging averted his eyes this time.

The apology triggered Killua’s bitterness, he would take it instead of the dread. "What are you sorry for ?" It gave him the strength to voice that question. 

Ging sounded confused "What do you mean ?" 

"What are you sorry for exactly ?" His eyes were still slightly wet, but they were flashing with anger. "Are you sorry that you took advantage of me ? Is that what it is ?" 

"What ? No… I didn’t ?" Ging stammered for the first time and he wished he could take joy in breaking that confidence but the resentment was too raw to factor in anything else.

"Then why are you backing off now ? If you aren’t taking advantage of me… Then why are you sorry Ging ? Why are you turning this into what you are afraid people will think it is ?" 

Ging stayed silent at those words. A silence that stretched for many seconds. His blue eyes digging themselves into his golden ones. 

After what seemed like an eternity, he saw his head fall and a tight smile formed on Ging’s lips. He clasped his hands on his and leaned on him having found his words. "You really are something" he started before getting even closer to him and invading his space. "It doesn’t change that this won’t have a happy ending, this can’t be more than what it already is."

"Stop assuming you know what I want." Killua snapped back "I don’t want vain promises, I want… this… and I don’t want to worry about the rest." That was his true feelings. He wasn’t expecting a relationship, that wasn’t what hurt. He just needed to be sure of one thing "What do you want Ging ?" please he wanted to add but his eyes pleaded instead.

Ging’s smile became more daring "you."

Their lips met again and this time with no hesitation, no more gentleness. Ging’s hands travelled on his back and he dug his finger in his skin in a way that meant he was claiming him. Confirming his words.   
  
Killua wrapped his arms around his neck feeling his legs lose their strength. When Ging touched him like that, his body would go limb, like he couldn’t will his own muscle to react other than by surrendering completely. Like a prey accepting its faith. 

"Fuck I’ve missed this" Killua managed to say between kisses. A roller coaster of emotions had gone through him but only one remained… lust. 

He arched his back, leaning on the table and making sure his crotch brushed over his, getting them both enticed by the friction. 

Ging was grinning against his lips "I’ve been thinking to go and see you tonight" he told him with so much ease, like he wasn’t considering just a moment ago to call it all off. 

"Yeah ?" Killua’s voice was hitched as he started kissing his jaws instead, wanting to hear more about Ging’s original plan. 

"Yeah… You’ve been on my mind all week." His hand travelled south to his hips. "I’ve even bought my own supplies" Ging confessed to him which made Killua’s eyes snap open and he pulled back to look at him confused. 

"Supplies ?" 

Ging gave him a smile that could almost pass as shy if he was capable of such emotion. "Look inside my bag." 

Killua turned to lean on the table, brushing purposely his hips on Ging’s crotch getting a little groan from the man. He opened his bag to look inside, amongst the papers, books and files, was a fresh box of condoms and a lube tube with foreign language on it. 

Killua laughed, taking the box out to look at it, pretending to inspect the quality. 

"Haven’t bought these in yearsÉ Ging said matter of factly and that got Killua's attention back on him. 

He laughed before he pulled himself to sit on the table spreading his legs so Ging could settle in between them. From his position he was now looking Ging down, his hand still holding the box of condoms while his other found its way on Ging’s shoulder. 

"So what ? You were planing to come to my room, drop on one knee and just ask me to be your fuck buddy for the next few weeks ?" He allowed himself to tease him now, his anger had left him but he would still enjoy stirring the knife a little. 

"Shut up… It’s not like that."

Killua frowned a little, the excitement of the reunion was settling and he did want to get to the bottom of this "You were really coming over tonight ? Expecting me to put out after you ghosted me for 5 days ?" He asked. He wanted to hear the answer. 

Ging seemed to be a little annoyed but answered him "Yes for the first question and… I wasn’t expecting anything. I wanted to talk to you, to see you. I wasn’t actually planning on bringing any of this tonight, not until everything was cleared out." But his face got a little serious. 'Killua" He caught the young man's attention with his serious voice. "Are you sure it’s what you want ? I’m really not the type of man you want by your side…" 

Killua smirked at him "Well I’ll settle for having you over me" And as he leaned over him "Or under…" He added with a mischievous smile. 

Ging’s eyes got tender "I’m serious Killua… I don’t want you to regret anything. I don’t want you to look back and feel that…"

Killua didn’t want to hear it, cutting him off with a kiss on the lips. His fingers went to play with the collar of his shirt. «I’m not going to.» he said with the most serious voice he could muster. It dawned on him now that Ging must have felt worried. He wrongly thought it was because he was scared for himself but that issue never came up. He was worried for Killua, worried and even though the way he acted was hurtful, he now felt bad for accusing him of anything. 

He wrapped his legs around his waist and used them to pull him closer to him. «I really want this» Whatever _this_ was, he knew he desired it. He went back to kissing him on the lips, on the jaw and playfully pulled at his earlobe with his teeth. 

Ging gently pushed him off unhooking his hands from his collard. "Hey there, don’t get too excited. I really have work to do. I really had a long and busy week and it’s not over."

Killua leaned back on his arms and looked at the microscope on the table. He was a little disappointed but was feeling better about it. Ging might have been busy but he suspected it might have been a convenience too, a way to easily avoid Killua whenever he needed time to process something. 

Ging’s hands were resting on his thighs rubbing them softly before he went to grab his chin and bring him to look at him "I’ll come over tonight, if that’s okay with you ?" 

Killua leaned his forehead on his."Yeah, that’s fine." He gave him a quick peck on the lips before jumping down from the table. "Need me to bring anything back to Kite ?" He said trying to act casual even though his whole body was vibrating with excitement at the thought of Ging’s visit tonight. 

"No, it’s all good." Killua nodded to him and turned to leave but Ging grabbed his wrist and spinned him back into his arms. He cupped his face and kissed him tenderly before adding. "See you tonight."

And he left him there to go back to his analysis. Killua felt flustered and took a few seconds to get back into action. He almost stumbled on his own feet as he went to open the door.

The sun was still high in the sky, still burning the city but it didn’t feel as harsh anymore. 

He first came in the lab with this weight on his chest and now it had been lifted, he was walking in the street with light feet and couldn’t get rid of the smile that was stuck to his face. He’d have to get his shit together before stepping back into their house. Gon had already shown concern about Killua’s roller coaster ride and he didn’t want to give him more reason to worry. 

He might have been acting recklessly with Ging. Might have been in over his head but he couldn’t attach the word "wrong" to what he was feeling and how Ging made him feel. 

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for making it this far !  
> Thanks for leaving a comment and/or a kudo, it helps a lot with the motivation. 
> 
> Take care !


	10. Settlement Pattern

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was on fire lately !!  
> Here's my next chapter and it's saucy so handle with care !

**Chapitre 10 -** **Settlement Pattern**

When Killua went back to his room, he closed the door and leaned on it letting a smile spread on his dumb face. It had been a struggle to not let his giddiness loose all day, he masterfully avoided having to spend too much time with anyone. Especially the emotion detector Gon who thankfully had been busying himself with some research on the Winter Flower. 

He pushed away from the door and looked at his alarm clock 9:21pm. to then scan his room quickly for any incriminating object that might be lying around. 

Being satisfied with the state of his room, he went to his closet to get a clean light grey t-shirt, thigh enough to follow the curves of his toned chest and matched it with a pair of loose dark blue boxers. He wished he had a mirror in this tiny room but he’d have to trust in his natural good looks and not act like he’s trying too much. 

He placed his pillow against the wall and rested on it, grabbing the only english magazine he had found in the little market next to the hotel. More photos and vain information on Camelia’s upcoming party were depicted. It was going to be in one of her mansions that was an old traditional house she had restored and expanded. 

Killua had his dose of mondain events with his family but this still had an exotic appeal to it. He found himself wanting the opportunity to see that palace and its gardens and take a closer look at the opulence of the royal family. 

He was finishing the last available article about a lost goat that somehow managed to find it’s kettle on its own and there was still no sign of Ging. His eyes had barely been able to stay open on those last pages. When he turned to look at the clock it was now 11:47pm. 

He tried not to feel disappointed but he couldn’t push that feeling too far. After the conversation he had with Ging, he felt like things had shifted between them to a better understanding of one another. He believed they were on the same page. 

Yet Ging’s absence couldn’t stop Killua from wondering if the man was still second guessing everything. If he changed his mind yet again. 

At least he was getting too tired to dwell on those thoughts for too long, he clicked the little lamp off and turned on his side, closing his eyes. He’d deal with his emotions tomorrow and he drifted to sleep. 

\---

He felt a weight on his waist and his foggy mind wasn’t sure if he was dreaming. His eyes fluttered slightly and he raised his arm to rub at them. 

The weight was a tanned arm, Ging’s arm. He turned to find Ging lying next to him and looking at him with tender eyes. 

"Hey, sorry I woke you…"

From behind Ging's shoulder he saw he had barely slept an hour. "No it’s okay..." his voice was groggy. He wanted to ask why he couldn't come sooner, wanted to mention he had expected him not to come anymore but he was restraining himself from sounding too needy. 

"I got caught up in online meetings with some colleagues from Padokea. With the time difference, I usually tend those meetings in the evening..." He had a small smile and his hand went to caress his forehead. 

He gave him a kiss on it which Killua took comfort in. 

His lips then went to grace his cheek and then found his mouth for a soft peck. 

Killua’s mind was still in a haze as he wrapped his arms lazily around Ging, kissing him back. Ging’s hands cupped his face while Killua arched his back to press himself against him and seek his heat. 

He broke the kiss to nuzzle his face in his neck and without a second thought his hands went to find Ging’s pants and they snaked themselves inside getting a gasp from Ging. 

"Hey, we don’t need to have sex… It's late." His hands grabbed Killua’s and pulled them out."I didn’t come for that… I just wanted to see you."

Killua lifted his head to look at Ging. A little confused but felt his cheeks heat up "oh."

He felt a little stupid for assuming that Ging was expecting him to put out but couldn’t deny how comfortable he felt just being in his arms. He never just cuddled with the people he slept with afraid to give meaning to something that was supposed to be just physical. That fear was still there but he couldn’t help enjoying the closeness. 

An awkward silence fell on them as Killua wasn’t sure what to do. Should he fall back to sleep ? He didn’t want to leave his arms but was Ging comfortable in this tiny bed ?

"God we really give out shitty beds to interns huh?" Ging groaned as if he had read Killua’s mind. 

And that released the little tension he had been holding as he let out a startled laugh. 

Ging grinned at him as he sat up "come on, get your stuff, we are going to my room."

That took all the sleepiness out of Killua’s body as he rose up startled by the suggestion. He blinked a few times before gaining back some barings. Ging was already walking through the door, expecting Killua to follow him without a doubt. 

As Killua stood up he felt like poking at Ging "Will I be able to use your shower ?"

Ging turned and flashed him with a smile. "Don’t push your luck" but as he was opening the door, he grabbed Killua’s towel that was hanging behind it. 

Killua took his little kit with him and some clean clothes. There was no time to think this through and he followed Ging in the hallway as they sneaked to the furthest part of the house where no student ever wandered. 

A first door was crossed and the designs behind it had changed. Looking a little more modern with marble floors. A door on the left led to the outside and the door to the right… was Ging’s room. 

Killua lingered at the door frame unsure of himself. Ging hung his towel next to what he assumed was the bathroom door and headed to the closet where he pulled out a t-shirt. Before he got undressed he took notice of Killua’s stillness. 

"Why are you glued there ? Come in and close the door behind you" he hastily took his shirt off and Killua took a few moments to look at Ging’s figure before finally stepping inside and closing the door with a soft click. 

While Ging was changing into his pyjama pants he looked around to try to read anything from that room. This place was Ging’s and it felt strangely intimate to have been invited in. But to his surprise, the room was mostly empty even though it was bigger and more classy than their rooms. The bed was easily a queen size with embroidered covers and beautiful blue and gold pillows that decorated it. On each side of the bed were two little nightstands made of carved wood engraved with colorful mosaics. The one closest to the windows had a pile of books and documents which was the only sign that this room was occupied. 

Killua sat on the bed, holding his little kit against his chest and his eyes followed the vernacular patterns on the floor that led him to Ging now standing in front of him. 

Ging reached him and took his kit to bring it to the bathroom letting the dim light enter the darkness of that bigger space. 

With his hands free, he graced the covers under him, taking in their softness and wanting nothing more than to cocoon inside those sheets and wrap himself in both covers and Ging’s arm. 

"You look lost." Ging’s mocking voice came to the other side of the bed where he saw the owner of the room sit and lie in the bed smirking at him knowingly. "Come" he added, opening his arms to embrace Killua. 

Killua lifted the sheets to slide under, enjoying the coldness under him and he went to nuzzle in Ging’s warmt. "I wasn’t expecting such a fancy room…" he gave him as an explanation. He knew that the empire was crazy rich and that this room was pretty simple to their standards but he couldn’t voice the uneasiness he felt of being here. 

He couldn’t pinpoint why he felt so self conscious suddenly. The experience in itself was surreal. He had been woken up from his sleep to end up here but he wasn’t tired anymore. His hand was resting on Ging’s chest and playing with the fabric of his shirt before he raised his head to meet Ging and kiss him on the lips. Maybe it was too weird to be conscious in a bed, not engaging in any form of debauchery. 

Ging accepted his lips easily and Killua decided to be more bold, parting Ging’s lips to slide his tongue and taste him. He rose on his elbow to hover over Ging, his hand now grabbing at his shirt. He slid his knee up his leg to rub against Ging’s crutch while he continued to nibble at his bottom lips feeling eagerness build up inside him. 

Ging’s hands were loosely on his waist but he gently pushed him away taking a minute to look at him "I thought you wanted to sleep ?" There was no malice in that question. 

"I’m fully awake now" Killua went to kiss him again moving to his jawline and giving it small bites, loving to feel his rough beard brush against his delicate skin. He still felt Ging’s hand not grabbing him or taking any initiative. "Are you sleepy ?" He asked, sucking on that spot between his neck and his shoulder. 

Ging let out a little groan and slid his hands on his ass, gently caressing him there making Killua cower over him gasping at the arousal that simple touch brought. He rose from the bed this time straddling Ging and moving along his body, letting his growing erection brush against Ging’s stomach. 

The aching desire for more friction and for less clothes had Killua’s needy hands digging themselves in Ging’s firm shoulders. Ging turned his head to whisper in Killua’s ear in a demanding tone that amplified all his senses "Kiss me." 

Killua wasted no time and complied to the demand. His cock was forming a very noticeable tent in his boxers as he lifted his ass to help Ging pushing them down, releasing him from the tension. The fresh air of the room gave him chills and a surprised breath left his mouth. 

Ging circled around his bottom muscles to tickle at his sensitive inner thighs, avoiding his erection strategically to glee at Killua’s growing frustration. "Come on ! Get your clothes off too." He almost moaned. 

"I just got inside my clothes..." Ging was in a teasing mood and enjoyed making Killua squirm but the younger boy could feel his hardness under his pants and he rubbed on it as a small payback. "Fuck !" Ging’s head pushed into the pillow behind him. 

In one swift movement he flipped Killua on his back, taking that moment to completely discard his boxers and looked at him provocatively as his hand went to the hem of his own pants. Asking permission to get naked with him. 

Killua tugged at his pants hastily "Woo… Careful now !" Ging laughed at how excited he was getting. "You’re cute when you’re impatient." 

He froze for a second at that comment, unsure what to do with this sweetness in his very horny mind. He brushed it away just like Ging’s hands and he made sure Ging was just as naked as he was. "Just get out of those pants already." 

He watched Ging raise himself on his knee and slowly get his pants off as he locked eyes on him, unsaid words lingering on his lips. Killua didn’t pause this time to wonder and he sat up to grab at Ging’s face, kissing him with force and now turning his shirt into his next target.

He moved his shirt up, stubbornly pressing his lips to Ging’s while the older man tried to get his arms out of his sleeves but stumbled backwards in the process, breaking the kiss. Killua just took the shirt and threw it out of the way. There was a sense of urgency that he couldn’t explain to himself, he needed to grab at Ging, having this foreboding feeling telling him to take what he could while it was there. 

He took his own shirt out in a haste and plunged on Ging once more, his hands eager to please him, eager to hear Ging call his name in that intoxicating manner. 

"Hey… Killua..." 

That wasn’t it. Killua ignored him, kissing all the way down his abdomen letting full mouthed kiss decorate that perfectly golden skin with that addictive salty taste. His hands were shaking but he wouldn’t let it stop him. 

"Killua" Ging’s voice was firmer and more present but it didn’t have the tone he wanted, it wasn’t desperate for him yet. He got closer to his erection with his mouth and breathed hot air on the tip of his dick. Ready to take him in. 

"Killua !" This time Ging hands grabbed at his shoulders firmly and looked at him with furrowed eyes and Killua swallowed hard trying to ignore that fear that had grown somehow inside him. The lust had turned into something feverish and he moved away from Ging blinking away the stinginess in his eyes. "What’s going on ?" 

The alarm in Ging’s voice was now pure concern and it made things worse inside Killua’s stomach. There was no barrier between them anymore, no more clothes, nothing to separate them but he felt miles aways still and he couldn’t voice why. 

Killua tried to kiss him again but Ging stopped him, catching his wrists. "Hey..." Killua bit his lips feeling shame for how he let it all escalate and now all he wanted was closeness and repent himself. Ging didn’t say anything and just wrapped him in his arms, a hand posed gently on his hair. 

Killua dropped his head on his shoulder going slightly limp in his arms. "I’m sorry..." He mumbled. He didn’t know how to just be with someone and just enjoy their presence. Didn’t know how to communicate with a lover if it didn’t involve sweating and panting… 

"Don’t be..." soft lips were pressed on his forehead. "It’s been a long week and a long day, lets just sleep okay ?" his thumb was rubbing circles on his back. 

He was afraid of Ging leaving. Being in Ging’s room felt important to him while at the same time, he had no idea why he felt out of place. Why did Ging want him here ?

He was afraid to ask. Afraid that anything he’d do or say was a gamble. A risk for Ging to call it all off. He had no say in this and he felt trapped between his feelings and Ging’s whims. 

"Yeah." He swallowed. "I got carried away." He made a movement to leave the bed but Ging Pulled him back in his arms. 

"I don’t mind having you naked in my bed..." He gave a smile trying to ease the tension. 

Killua’s eyes flickered between his trying to decipher anything more behind those words, behind those dark pools that sucked him in. The side of his lip curled up despite him.

He dropped on the bed watching Ging join him. "I don’t have anything planned tomorrow… we can sleep in. I can grab us breakfast and leisure here."

Those words managed to sooth him. Even if it was just one other day, tonight wasn’t their last. 

"That sounds nice." 

\---

The next morning Killua woke up on a bed too wide. For a split second, he forgot where he was but the night before came back to him and he suddenly felt silly. He slapped a hand on his face rubbing away the numbness and turned to find Ging missing.

He dropped his hand on the empty space imagining a lingering heat. He sat up and the sheet dropped down to his crotch remembering that he had slept naked next to Ging, that they didn’t do anything and that he had promised a lazy morning for the both of them. He glanced quickly at the bathroom where no noise was coming from. 

He sighed wondering if he had made Ging reconsider it all but then the door opened and Ging was barging in with a plate of food in hands. His hair was still scruffy and his shirt was half tucked in. He never looked very put up but now it seemed like he had pulled whatever clothes he found in a haste. 

The smell of coffee reached him and he was about to get up to help Ging with the tray but he suddenly felt self conscious of his nakedness. Sure it wasn’t anything that Ging hadn’t seen or touched but it was different if he was the only one.

"Got coffee and some cherrios" Killua had been eating the same cheerios every morning and he couldn’t hide a smile at Ging noticing it. "But I want you to taste these too." He dropped the tray on the small table next to the window. Last night he couldn’t see it, but the window offered a beautiful view of the desert. 

Killua made a move to find his clothes but Ging was next to him to stop him, he quickly undressed himself too. "Now we match" he said shamelessly before heading back to the food and preparing some toasts.

Killua laughed at the whole scene, eyeing Ging from the side as he once again rubbed his hand on his face, trying to wake himself up and enjoy that morning. He got up and sat in front of Ging, taking in the simple buffet, his throat felt dry so he poured himself a glass of water first from the bottle. 

He gave side glances to the view, afraid someone could see them but if felt unlikely.

Ging had some kind of bread on his plate on which he spread a very dark jam. "Fruits here taste differently, they had sun for hours and this-" He pointed to the jam "is a kind of cherry that you can only find here, they typically add to it rose essence. Here taste." He put the bread in front of him, waiting for a reaction. 

Killua lifted it to his mouth and took a bite. It was sweet like any jam but it had an acidulous taste to it with a hint of floral essence. It wrapped perfectly around his tongue and he couldn’t help but let out a little moan making Ging raise his eyebrow suggestively. 

"Told you so." 

That managed to loosen Killua up and he went on to pour himself some cereals while observing Ging’s habits fondly. Ging was holding the butter knife up while explaining to him how those cherries were usually picked in the fall unlike most other cherries but that this was a batch he had a farmer froze for him. "I left a jar in the fridge but no one seems to want any." 

He didn’t find it surprising really, breakfast was usually taken fast and most people just went with the most basic food. 

They finished their breakfast and Ging piled the dishes quickly on the tray while Killua grabbed his towel. "I’m taking a shower." He had been eyeing that shower all morning. 

"I’ll join you" Ging simply said without looking back at him, it took Killua by surprise. The idea of sharing a shower with Ging had been in his head through breakfast, but he had been trying to be more chill and not expect anything. 

The bathroom was also larger than the one they shared, it had both a bathtub and a shower. The shower had beautiful tiles on one of its walls and a large glass door, it looked modern but kept part of the traditional esthetique. He opened the faucet to warm before taking a quick look at himself, taking a deep breath to calm himself. 

The house they all lived in kept the night's cold air in and when the water hit him, it had the necessary warmth he needed to feel his muscle slacken a little. He quickly washed his face and wet his hair when he heard the door open and excitement prickled in. 

He turned to find Ging in all his naked glory. His build was strong and the color of his skin was mesmerizing, he couldn’t stop thinking how good it would feel all wet under his curious hands. He offered his hand to get him under the water with him which Ging took without hesitation. 

As their bodies collided together, feeling the water drizzle on them, Ging grabbed his face and kissed him which was successful in awakening Killua’s lust. He wrapped his arms around his neck pulling him closer to him and Ging took the opportunity to pin him against the cold tiles. 

The taste of his tongue still had that flowery flavor and he took pleasure exploring the inside of his mouth. Ging’s hand grabbed at his hip and both their growing erection were rubbing against each other turning this first sweet kiss into an overwhelming desire for more. 

"Want to pick up where we left yesterday ?" Ging’s husky voice was barely audible next to the water hitting the tiles and the floor. 

"Fuck yeah."

Ging’s hand was traveling up and down his torso and settled to toy with his erected nipples. Killua held his breath at the sensation and he tried to find Ging’s lips again but the man pulled away teasingly, Killua lingered there a millimeter away from Ging’s lips, his mouth opened and demanding contact. Another friction of his sensitive crutch made Killua drop his head on the crook of his neck succking on it and tasting his skin and the beads of water accumulating there. 

He grinded himself against Ging while holding on to him for dear life. All the stimulation was getting to him making him eager for release. Patience would never be a virtue of his.

As if his prayers were being heard, he felt a hand wrap around his erection and Ging’s and stroked them together making Killua moan and dig his fingers deeper in the golden flesh. 

His legs were shaking but Ging was holding him against the wall, one hand on his ass spreading him while the other sent them both to ecstasy. 

Killua wouldn’t last long he knew it, his skin was on fire and the water dripping down his body to his cock and around his balls was making him shiver with pleasure. 

Even under the hot water, even with Ging’s heats on him, his whole skin was covered in goosebumps. He moved his hips to provoke more friction and Ging understood he needed to go faster. The hand on his butt cheek followed its curve and teased his entrance. 

That simple attention pushed him over the edge. He let out a silent scream before biting into Ging’s neck to try to control his spams. That made Ging find his own release and he heard him let a controlled groan come out. He felt hot liquid on his stomach and even that was too much now that his skin was overly sensitive. 

His legs felt weak now as he released some of his grip and Ging slid them both on the floor of the shower. Ging was now kneeling in front of him, Killua’s legs on each side of him and he cupped his face to give him sloppy kisses. 

"That felt so good" Killua let out feeling still shaky, letting the water run on him wash away the semen. 

"Yeah ?" Ging seemed as relieved as him and he sat next to him. Killua leaned his head on his shoulder giving him butterfly kisses there while Ging had his hand on his thigh, caressing him softly. 

"Yeah."

They stayed like this in a blissful aftermath for long peaceful minutes, enjoying the still running shower cleaning them slowly. 

"We should actually shower now" Ging finally said as he got up and pulled Killua with him. "But I’ll let you go first." He told him before kissing him "I might get distracted again if I stay in here with you." His smile was genuine. 

"I wouldn’t mind," Killua teased. 

He playfully squeezed Killua’s face, pinching his mouth "I know you wouldn’t… that’s part of the problem." And he left the shower to let Killua wash up. 

\---

When Killua had finished with his shower, he pulled his towel and dried himself up before finding his clean clothes and putting them on. 

Ging gave him a quick kiss before heading to the bathroom. 

"I only have readings to do today, you can stay as long as you want."

It was sunday and the interns usually chilled around when they weren’t out touring other cities. He didn’t think anyone would miss him and even less feel suspicious of his absence so he decided to lay on the bed and took his phone out to look at his messages. 

Only Gon had left him one, telling him that he was going to go shopping for food and if he wanted to join. He bit his lips as to what to answer him. He knew Gon found it weird that he was into Ging but if he was with anyone else, he’d have no problem telling him where he was. He settled for just giving him a vague answer and saying he’ll catch up in the late afternoon. 

He dropped his phone on the nightstand and took notice of the piles of books and documents on it. He looked through them, curious to see what was Ging reading. There were a few Phd students’ final theses that Ging had been scribbling on. He pushed them away and took the first book. 

_The Ice wall of Lissatland and the unique bird migration._ He had heard of the Bassan birds that migrated in reverse. They only came to north Padokea in the winter times and it had always been a mystery to where they flew off in the summer. He turned the back of the book to see the summary where it explained that those birds had dug galleries inside the Ice Wall to lay their eggs and that discovery turned the Wall into a preserved heritage site.

He opened the book and read the preface where he noticed Ging’s name appearing a few times. 

_Doctor Ging founded the excavation of the Ice Wall based on little proof and lots of faith. He gave me a chance to preserve one of my city’s most beloved monuments that was threatened every year by companies wanting to extract the natural resources beneath it._

The text went on to explain Ging’s help throughout the mission. 

A small hand written note was at the bottom. _I know you didn’t want your name in this but I truly am grateful for what you did._

Killua looked at the other books and made himself more comfortable on the bed. None of these books had Ging’s name on them, none of these discoveries were known to have been done by him but they all mentioned him in the preface or in a private handwritten note as a major contributor. 

All these discoveries had a similar theme as they all seemed to have been able to preserve natural habitats or protected a culture from disappearing. They also all had a high risk of failure because nothing was mentioned about these sites until Ging gave his help to found their exploration. 

He turned the pages inside the books and saw that Ging had handwritten little notes himself. Memories of certain details that were omitted and some advice as if Ging was planning to send back the books to their author.

Ging was famous and his name alone could do a lot to move projects but little information on him was available and now he got a glimpse at just how much more important he was to the archeological world than his reputation implied. 

And Ging took no credit for any of these achievements. 

When Ging got out of the shower, a towel hiding his lower body while a smaller one was hanging over his shoulder, Killua looked at him and without thinking asked. 

"I don’t get how you can care so much for these people and yet abandon your son." _Or commit to any type of relationship_ , he didn’t say. 

There was a heavy silence in the air that made Killua regret immediately sharing his thought out loud. No matter how sincere his question was. 

Everytime he felt he got closer to him, something made him realize how unapproachable he was. He didn’t want commitment from Ging but he did want to understand how his mind functioned. 

"I’m sorry… it’s not fair for me to bring that up" Killua said, pilling the books back on the table trying to defuse the tension. But Ging seemed unphased by the comment. 

"Who do you admire ?"

"What ?"

"Name someone, anyone, that you admire, that did something great, or contributed to the world in one way or another."

Killua hesitated at that question. Who did he admire ? "Jules F. Coner" he said. He had followed the career of this man and was moved by his achievement in defending people being attacked by powerful companies. He founded a whole pro bono law firm to help people get access to competent lawyers. It also helped that his family hated the man and that Illumi's one and only failure was due to him. 

"Good guy, did a lot for many people. He came from a rich family and got pushed into marrying the daughter of another powerful one." So far Killua knew that, it wasn’t nothing odd, he also knew he was now divorced. "It was settled away from the media but she divorced him for domestic abuse and infidelity. Turns out, he had been in love with someone else and the person that suffered for his unhappy marriage was his wife."

Killua swallowed hard, he never heard of that and he wondered how they managed to hide such a big affair. Illumi would have preyed on that had he known. But where was Ging going with that ? "What does it have to do with anything ?"

"There are no heroes out there. There are only people taking on challenges they can and failing those they can’t." His eyes had that glow in them, the unapologetic one. "I did the things I did because I could but I couldn’t be a father. That’s the simple truth. There’s nothing special about me." he paused to look at the pile of books "And I never asked to be special to anyone." 

Killua took a deep breath before letting the air inside him leave his body. He could have heard those words as a threat to whatever their relationship was about but on the contrary, he felt envious of his free mind. 

He had chosen his other lovers carelessly without second guessing anything and just enjoying the present moment but he never gave it any weight. Never cared for them or even tried to. But here was Ging, who was enjoying his time with Killua full heartedly, being gentle, sweet and even loving but was honest in what he could or couldn’t offer. 

It was hard not to project or to give in the desire for more but by doing so, he was risking to miss out on what he had here. He got up to get closer to Ging and wrapped his arms around his neck while Ging’s hands automatically went to his waist. He dropped his forehead on his chest, his skin was still humid from the shower and he gave him a little kiss there.

"I want to spend the day with you" Killua confessed. 

He heard Ging smirk "me too." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I feel I lost some of my readers because I took too long to update...  
> Sorry about that, I'll try to be more consistant. Every two weeks seems to be like the good ratio for me. 
> 
> Thank you for reading,  
> Hope you enjoyed it and if leave a comment or a kuddos ! It fuels me !


	11. Domestication

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS TOOK FOREVER !!! 
> 
> I'm sorry, just so you know, I pratically finished to write it all, there are 2 chapters left after this one !  
> Thank you for reading !!! 
> 
> Thank you to ThatOnePeach for editing that chapter.  
> If you haven't read Forbiden Fruit yet... You are missing out !!! Go read her work ! It's amazing !

**Chapter 11 - Domestication**

Killua was laying at the end of Ging’s large bed. He was flat on his stomach and had put one of Ging’s many books open on the floor, his head popping over the edge of the mattress to read it leisurely. 

The book was a thick encyclopedia on the species found in the Ochima Desert. Few explorations had been made there, the desert presumed to be dead but underneath the sand, many living creatures had been found. Each weirder in shape than the last, evolution having mutated them to assure their survival. 

A soft hand would stroke his leg every now and then, only stopping to turn the page of  _ Laws and Properties in the Bastien Empire _ . Killua would sometimes hear Ging scoff at something or take the pen off his ear to scribble words in the book. From time to time, Killua loved to observe Ging as his dark eyes absorbed the knowledge of the book in front of him. Ging reminded him of a vortex that took everything with him. It made Killua dizzy sometimes to think of it too much. 

Even fully focused, he still was aware of his environment because every time Killua turned to look at him, Ging would catch him and a smile would follow. Killua pinched his lips together, resisting the urge to get closer to him, to feel his untamed hair between his fingers and his warm breath on his neck. 

He was about to contemplate the idea of leaving his book to seek Ging’s warm arms when a buzzing sound resonated in the room. Ging turned to the device on his nightstand and frowned at the name that had appeared. 

“What is it ?” His voice had that contained annoyance. 

Killua heard the voice from the other side and thought he recognized Kite.

“I’ve already refused, I know what she wants.”

A long explanation followed the first comment.

“So what if the pawns she forced on the team are going to be there ? Of course they are ! That was the whole point. My presence won’t change the outcome either way !”

His tone was getting more exasperated by the minute but Kite on the other end kept calm. Ging rolled his eyes and his lips pushed into a pout.

“God, those dumb boot kissing bastards ! Fuck ! Fine, I’ll go.” 

His gaze darted to Killua before finishing the conversation. “Yeah, that’s the Monday after, as for the party you can tell them tomorrow.”

He hung up without a goodbye and threw the phone on the nightstand, letting his head fall back on the headboard. 

Killua got up to sit next to him “What is it ?” he ventured. 

Ging’s didn’t bother opening his eyes when he answered. “We’re all going to that dumb party Camelia is throwing…” 

Killua was trying hard to hide his smile. He had wanted to go but never dared to think it was an option for the interns. 

“I can hear you smile” Ging groaned, eyes still stubbornly shut. 

Killua ignored his comment and put his head on Ging’s shoulder, feeling his arm wrap around his waist in return. “Who were you talking about… her pawns ?” 

“Killua…” Ging warned. “This isn’t your business. Nothing that has happened changed that.” 

He didn’t push the matter, his mind going back to the party that was in two weeks. “So why didn’t you want to go ? And why are we invited ?”

Those questions stayed unanswered for a few long seconds making Killua wonder if it was also off-limit information. He had been suspecting that this event was more than just a party for appearances. 

A long sigh escaped Ging. “I didn’t want to go because I know she wants to use my presence to further her agenda. I don’t have a problem with it, I just need to stay neutral… but of course, she is using you guys to motivate and justify my presence.” He finally opened his eyes but only to look outside at the view, doing little to hide his reluctance. 

“What are you going to wear ?” 

Ging choked on air before turning to Killua with a dumbfounded face “What am I going to wear ? What kind of question is that ?” 

A chuckle escaped Killua as he rose up on his knees to face Ging. “Well, you always look like you’ve escaped a cave… So I’m just wondering.” 

And with that comment, he let his curiosity lead him to Ging’s dresser. When he started shuffling through the little choices he found, he noticed they were all the same style wise. “Not a lot of options… I guess I’m not that surprised.”

“I’ll go buy something, stop snooping around.” But Killua ignored him and started going through his drawers. “I’d rather have your hands on me…” he baited.

Killua’s head poked out from the dresser with a cat-like expression and he hoped back into bed. “I know you said that to get me to leave your clothes alone.”

“Shut up !” Ging snarled as he wrapped himself around Killua’s slender frame.

“I wasn’t complaining.” 

\---

The next days went by fast, the excavation grew bigger and more out of control. 

The interns were eating early and on their own that day. “Honestly… I’m starting to wonder if anyone would notice if we stayed at the house.” Pokkle complained, taking a mouthful of his tuna sandwich. 

Killua’s nose scrunched at the smell of it and Pokkle’s words. Gon to his right nodded slightly but kept his mouth shut. 

“I know what you mean” came Monta’s deep voice. “The project is getting big now and it’s getting a lot of attention, I saw reporters come the other day…”

“Yeah, I saw them too. I miss the early days when it was smaller and we would have improvised workshops.” Banana's usual chipper self had deflated too, she turned to Gon, expecting him to get into the conversation. “You are still working on the seed bank Gon, anything fun in that department ?” 

Gon fidgeted in place. “Sorry, I don’t know much more.” He glanced at Killua before continuing. “Kite himself had warned me to stay to my bonatic.”

Killua contemplated Gon’s words as the other continued to complain. He himself rarely ever saw Ging on the field anymore. He was more busy every day and when they were together, they made it a point not to bring up the project.

He figured it was for the better. On one side he didn’t have to pretend anything and could go about his day, and on the other, their private time was that much more pleasant.

Ging had taken his phone number after that last sunday and every few days he’d leave a message asking Killua to join him. It thrilled him every time his phone would buzz, turning every meeting into a thrilling adventure and anticipating when the next ring would come. He didn’t stop to wonder if Ging would answer his invitation if he was the one to ask. 

The days were a blur of events but most nights were stretched out moments of sensual explorations. He got to discover sides of Gings he didn’t suspect. The tenderness in his skilful touches, the way he always cared to learn about Killua’s thoughts and listened to his stories.

It often ended in carnal activities. Touches, kisses and release punctuated the nights. No matter how many times they had shared intimacy, it always felt singular; it always gave him a new high. He was slowly but surely getting addicted to the distinct smell of  Ging’s skin, it’s tightness over the muscles... it’s color under his pale hands, how it would glisten after making love. 

But Killua's favorite game was to provoke his devious smile. To find the words that made him frown and pout and then make him laugh with new ones. It was exhilarating and empowering to know he could have that effect on him. That he could almost predict his reactions now. 

Ging always found ways to surprise him though, having special take out food for the both of them dropped by a local friend of his. Or slipping in his room during the day to leave some interesting rock he would have found during his day, sometimes with a little riddle on it that Killua loved to figure out. 

Or that one night, when Ging seemed to have gone missing for three whole days. There had been some commotion on the site and even Kite seemed in over his head. The workers were part of the commotion and Killua fought the urge to go listen in on them. He bit his lips and decided not to do anything, turning to Gon who was struggling just as much as he was. 

Gon’s expression made him laugh though, he was so easy to read it was comical. 

That night he received a text :  _ Heard you behaved today… _

_ Kite told you ? _

_ I have eyes and ears everywhere…  _

_ Good to know.  _

Killua toyed with him, imagining Ging’s face pondering if he should be straightforward in his demand or if he would play with him some more. 

_ My days have been too long… I’ve missed you.  _

Killua’s heart swelled, not expecting those words. He bit back a smile as he left his room to find Ging. 

Minutes later, their sweating bodies were laced togethers, panting in rhythm, the fresh air from the open window incable of cooling their ardent fire. 

That night, Ging had been more eager than usual. His finger craved Killua’s skin as they dug into his flesh. He touched him like he needed to make sure Killua was real, that this wasn’t an illusion. 

That night, Ging came before him and watched Killua follow with eyes full of awe. Those eyes awakened something new inside Killua’s heart, something that scared and overwhelmed him. 

Because at this point, he knew it wasn’t anything like he had ever experienced before. And the only thing he never experienced was love. 

“You’re so beautiful” Ging whispered into the night. Killua felt his whole body heat up like it would spontaneously combust and dissolve into nothingness. Part of him did want to disappear—the scared part of him. 

But another part, the one that was daring, the one that started this crazy adventure felt aroused by those words and those new feelings. And there was only one way he knew to express them. He pushed Ging on his back and startled him, eyes meeting his with audacity. 

“You’re not so bad to look at yourself” Killua said to a satiated Ging.

Ging looked up at him, curious somehow at Killua’s sudden spike of energy, his hand gripped his thighs, making Killua understand he liked him sitting over him like that and didn’t want him to move away. 

That’s the incentive he was looking for, and he asked with his head tilted on the side, “feel like going another round ?” 

Ging let out a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a growl. “You have too much stamina, I want to sleep. Tomorrow we wake up early.” His words were saying one thing but his hands were tracing loving circles on his hips.

Like a cat pouncing on his prey, Killua felt keen to play more now. “Come on! We wake up early every morning…” He lowered his chest to be flush against Ging’s letting his hands slide down teasingly down his body and dropping little kisses on his way. 

Ging groans quickly turned into little moans. “You can’t always get what you want because you’re cute.” They both knew it was a weak attempt to stop the inevitable. 

“Come on Ging… We both know you don’t sleep much anyway,” Killua murmured between kissing, tickling the little hair on Ging’s chest. 

Another little contained moan escaped Ging before he caved. “Fine, but tomorrow you get up early and have the coffee ready this time !” He snarled, looking for any form of win. 

“As you wish.” Killua slowly grinded against Ging. He wanted to make Ging feel good. Since he couldn’t find the words, he let his hands and mouth show him. 

The next morning, Killua was sitting next to the headboard, fully dressed and awake and he couldn’t help himself from staring at Ging’s sleeping form on the bed. He hadn’t had many occasions to see Ging so fully unguarded. He looked peaceful and much younger, all his worries hidden somewhere in his subconscious. Only now, seeing the contrast did he realise the weight of Ging’s daily responsibilities. 

His fingers went to play with his hair gently. “I smell coffee,” came Ging’s grumpy morning voice while keeping his eyes closed. “Am I dreaming ?” he asked with a smirk. 

“Not just coffee and breakfast, mister. It’s all waiting for you on the table.” He leaned in to give him a quick peck on the mouth before standing up and grabbing an apple from the tray he had set for them. 

Ging slowly got up, yawning and stretching but his gaze never left Killua. He didn’t even look at the food he had put effort into preparing. “You’re awfully energetic this morning.”

“Hmmm I guess that’s how good it felt yesterday.” He said, his mouth full. 

As expected, Ging didn’t miss the provocation “What ? You didn’t like the other times ?” 

Killua kept his mouth shut, not wanting to say that it had nothing to do with the sex itself. He had spent the whole morning overreacting to his own feelings, getting anxious about the idea of being in too deep. But every time he remembered Ging’s words and soft gaze on him, he thought it couldn’t be that bad. 

Ging walked fully naked to the table,eyeing Killua suspiciously. “You took a shower in my bathroom and used my towel huh ?”

“I take what I can have,” Killua mused. His eyes then followed the curves of his muscles before moving back up to meet Ging’s who harbored a satisfied smile. 

“Don’t get any ideas… I have many meetings today. I need to be presentable.” He poured himself coffee and grabbed a piece of bread. 

“Then you should shave for once,” Killua dared to add. 

\---

After eating his breakfast at an unusual speed, Ging marched to the bathroom and Killua watched with a mischievous grin on his face. 

Ging walked inside and only a second later came out with a look of disbelief.

“Did- Did you make me a bubble bath ? And are those rose petals ?” 

Killua bursted out laughing, almost falling down his chair while Ging’s eyes narrowed at him. “You little brat” he mumbled, getting back inside with Killua in tow. 

“I thought you loved rose petals. You still have time before we have to head out. Just enjoy yourself.” 

Truth be told, as much as he enjoyed messing with the man, he did want to help him relax. Ging had been unhinged lately. 

As Ging slipped inside pouting, his face slowly loosened, all the little wrinkles in his face fading away. Killua couldn’t help but find him cute surrounded by the bubbles and rose petals.He was about to take his phone to snap a picture. 

“Don’t you dare !” Ging warned, frowning once more before relaxing again. 

Killua laughed and decided not to push his luck. He went to kneel, crossing his arms on the edge of the tub.  “It’s not that bad is it ?”

Ging had his eyes closed, relaxing, but when Killua’s voice filled the space, he opened just one to take a peek at him. “It's not my first bath you know.”

“You don’t say?”

Ging rolled his eyes and lifted his hand to reach Killua's face and get him to lean closer which startled the younger man. “Hey ! Don’t get me wet, I didn’t bring any other clothes here.”

“Then get undressed,” Ging countered. 

Killua blinked a few times pondering the suggestion. “Are you sure? I thought you wanted to start your day early.”

To make his point, he rose up to press a kiss on Killua’s lips.”I’m not letting this water go to waste, might as well join me.”

Killua hesitated for only a second before promptly taking his clothes off and dropping them on the hanger. He settled into the bath between Ging’s legs and watched the water go higher in the tub. 

The bubbles had a soothing smell to them but the petals were annoying, getting stuck on his chest. Ging’s arms wrapped around him and Killua dropped his head backward on his shoulder. 

He took a deep breath and let his whole body rest under the hot water. It didn’t matter that he had already showered or that he had woken up full of energy. Now in this little comforting bubble, he didn’t feel like starting his day anymore. 

Ging didn’t make any movement to leave, he hummed next to his ear and dropped little kisses on his neck every now and then. Killua let his arms float on each side of him, enjoying their lightness and swaying them slowly, watching the bubbles move around them. 

After a while he opened his eyes and turned to look at Ging. 

“can I wash your hair ?” he asked offhandedly.

Ging frowned at him but had an amused smile on his face. “Is that like a thing you’re into?”

Killua rolled his eyes, pushing gently his face away. “Nah ! Well... maybe…”

Ging’s lips graced his cheek again. “Sure,” he answered. 

A bottle was sitting next to them that Killua grabbed to look at closely. It was a basic odorless body wash. Killua briefly wondered where Ging's exotic smell came from if it wasn’t his body wash. He looked around before asking. “Where’s your shampoo?”

“You are holding it,” Ging said matter of factly.

“You use soap to wash your hair ?” The shock in Killua’s voice was hard to miss. 

“You’re more of a hippy than I thought.” He couldn’t hold a little laugh at the idea of Ging washing his whole body with one single product. 

“Don't be a smartass ! Those products are all ripoffs ! Soap is soap ! It washes.”

Killua's mouth dropped in disbelief before letting out another chuckle. He got out of the tub briefly to find his little kit he always brought with him. “I don’t care, I'm washing your hair with real shampoo.”

Ging grunted at him when the boy came back with his bottle of shampoo in hand and an excited grin on his face. He was back in the tub but this time kneeling in front of him. 

“If you don’t behave, I'll add conditioner too !” he threatened, and Ging lips clamped shut into a thin line. 

Killua felt satisfied and popped the bottle open. He dropped a dollop of shampoo in the palm of his hand before passing his finger through his thick hair, rubbing gentle circles on his scalp. Soon enough it was lathering and a soft citrus smell spread through the bathroom. 

As he massaged, Killua observed Ging’s expression loosening completely under his care, his eyes immediately closed to take in the sensation. Little sounds vibrated in his throat, clearly enjoying Killua’s ministrations. 

It felt like a privilege to be able to watch Ging so serene and almost vulnerable. The fact that Ging would let himself be touched like that meant a lot to Killua. It was a level of intimacy that went beyond intercourse. 

He gently pushed Ging’s head backward and grabbed the shower head, opening the faucet and making sure the temperature was right. He let the water wash the soap from Ging’s hair, passing his fingers through and enjoying how softer it felt now. 

“You’re all clean now,” he said in a low voice, not wanting to break the peaceful atmosphere. 

Ging slowly opened his eyes, his hand went to close the faucet before resting on Killua’s cheek. “That felt really nice,” he said, his voice heavy but grateful. 

The color of his eyes turned darker, like melted chocolate. He straightened up to cup Killua’s face, bringing him closer and staring intently at his face, studying it and lingering there as if a masterpiece was presented to him. His thumb went to touch his lower lip and travelled slowly left and right over and over again. It seemed to follow the beating of his heart, and Killua’s mind went on overdrive, aching for more contact. 

Ging brought his lips to his mouth but stopped just a few millimeters from him, looking straight in his eyes and inviting him to close the gap if he dared. Killua swallowed hard and let himself fall into his lips, warm and soft. A small humming noise escaped Ging’s mouth, conceding to Killua’s famished lips. 

They parted their lips and their tongues laced together, Ging’s fingers moved up to venture into Killua’s hair. Killua held on the edge of the tub afraid to fall into his arms, powerless but eager. 

Ging then tilted Killua’s head backward so his lips could trail down his jaw and neck while his legs wrapped around Killua’s body, forcing him even closer. Killua let it happen, his hands going to Ging’s back and pressing into his flesh, enjoying how firm and strong it felt. There was something comforting and liberating in letting Ging lead entirely.

Ging’s mouth reached his chest and his tongue licked his right nipple, nibbling at it and earning a faint shudder from Killua. The older man sucked on it playfully, turning his tongue around the perky nipple. 

His left hand found its way to his left nipple, toying with it between his finger and his thumb. Killua let out a little gasp and tried to free himself from the intense stimulation, his erection growing. “I… I thought you didn’t want to be distracted.” There was something odd about the way Ging allowed all of this to escalate. He never let their private moments take over his professional obligations. 

Ging pulled back slightly, lust pouring out of him “Are you complaining ?” he simply asked, avoiding the question. 

Had he not been so turned on, Killua would have dwelled on it more, wondering what made Ging so pliant and willing to forget his original plan. Maybe his thoughts transposed onto his face because Ging added, “I just want to enjoy you, the rest can wait.” He paused as if he were to add something but then went back to kiss his chest. 

Killua’s heart swelled at those words and careful touches and kisses. He didn’t need more to surrender completely. 

And their lips met again.

\---

Kite announcing to the interns that they were invited to Camelia’s party lifted their spirits. They hardly talked about anything else, sending them into a shopping spree to find the perfect attire for the event. Killua found himself helping Gon figure out an outfit that was both proper enough for the event but didn’t betray his personal style. Gon didn’t like too elaborate clothes. 

“You seem to be doing fine lately,” Gon said while Killua was looking through the rack of light coloured shirts. 

He scanned a nice off-white shirt with only a few buttons at the top, pressing it up to Gon to see if it matched his complexion. 

“Hmm, Yeah.”

“So everything is fine with Ging ?” 

Killua startled at the sudden mention of Ging’s name. It was the first time since Gon had found out about them that he ever mentioned him. Killua made sure to avoid it so as not to make his friend uncomfortable unnecessarily. Even when he was at his lowest, he tried to avoid dragging Gon into his stories and personal drama. 

“Yeah,” he ventured, trying to gage Gon’s intention. “It has been going pretty good actually. Why do you ask ?” Was Killua’s silence on the matter what made Gon curious ?

Gon looked hesitant. “Kite just mentioned something about Ging being overly stressed lately. I mean, I didn't really notice before he told me. There seems to be a lot going on.”

Stressed ? Ging was a bit different, he was somewhat a bit more distracted but he also acted that more affectionately. It didn’t really occur to Killua that it could be related to whatever was going on. But now his curiosity was piqued. “What else did Kite say ?” He let out, trying to act casual. 

“He wouldn’t tell me anything specifically. Kite himself seems overwhelmed, and I’ve been wondering…” he let the word linger before he turned around to double check that no one was eavesdropping, “I’ve been wondering if they didn’t find something.”

“You mean inside the tomb ?”

“Yeah… I mean, when they told us about it, I expected more details or a brief visit, you know. Every time we used to find even just a spoon we’d have a lecture on it… and now a whole tomb is found and all we get are vague descriptions.” 

Killua put back the shirt on the rack and started looking for something else. “I agree. It’s odd, but there have been a lot of new people on the site and I think they just can’t give us the same attention we had at the beginning.” He knew it was only part of the reason. They didn’t only push the interns away, but even the Khalkan. 

Ata Kaleb had personally complained about it all very loudly the other day. Ging wasn’t on the site that day, and Kite had to calm him down. But the day after that, he had a long talk with Ging and no one dared to stop Ata Kaleb from walking on the site wherever he pleased. Ging had made sure he was part of the project and not to be put aside. 

Both their minds seemed to have wandered in the same direction because Gon added, “Ata Kaleb did see the tomb though, I asked him what he saw.”

Killua’s attention was fully back on Gon. He knew Gon had been obsessing about the latest discoveries. Sure his expertise was the botanical aspects of the site and he was still regularly consulted on that matter, but his curiosity didn’t stop there. He hated when something was made out of reach. Killua smiled at his friend. He was truthfully just as curious but he didn’t want to upset Ging and tried to stay low profile. 

“He told me the tomb probably belonged to a scholar.”

“Make sense, it was found next to what has been established as the main library. I don’t think any aristocrat or ruler would be buried there.” 

Gon nodded at that. “From what I understand though, the monarch had a court of advisers among which a highly thought of scholar would be. I still think there might be some answers there.”

“I read that too... “ Killua contemplated the implication. He wished he could have had a glimpse at that tomb but he also didn’t want to be in the center of yet another political conflict. “What do you want to do about it though ?” Did Gon have an idea in mind ? Was he trying to get them both in trouble?

“I wanted to talk to one of the new members of the team but they are all pretty closed off… but I did hear they’d be at Camilia’s party. So maybe we could talk to them ?” He gave Killua one of his cute smiles that was both innocent and pleading. 

He took another shirt out and pushed it onto Gon. “Fine. Here ! Buy this and let's get back already.” 

Gon didn’t complain at the choice. 

\---

A few days before the party, Ging had urged Killua to come to his room once more. He had left a vague message saying he wanted a second opinion. Killua wondered if it had anything to do with what was going on in the field. Gon digging out information has been making him more curious too. 

When he opened the door to Ging’s room, he was surprised to find it messy, clothes were everywhere, and he heard rustling inside the dresser. 

Ging came out, wearing corduroy pants and a shirt that was way too big for him with the sleeves rolled up. The only improvement with his regular clothes was that it wasn't dusty or torn. 

A laugh escaped Killua. “Seriously, thank god you are handsome ‘cause the way you dress does nothing for you.”

Ging’s head fell backward, keeping a curse from escaping his lips. He seemed so defeated. “For christ sake ! Everyone is on my case with my clothes ! I’m not some fashion influencer, I’m an archeologist !” he ranted.

Killua took a better look around and had another laugh imagining Ging going through his wardrobe for hours before finally caving and calling Killua for help. “Archeologists still have people to meet and impress.” He walked slowly to the wild creature under too many layers of clothes. Did Ging think more clothes meant a more appropriate outfit ? 

Once Killua was a few feet away, he stubbornly looked at Ging frowning deeply. “I’ve been in the business for a while now, I’ve paid my dues and I should be allowed to dress however I want !” He turned to the mirror behind the dresser’s door, and Killua observed him attempting to «upscale» his current clothes. 

He watched with pity as Ging wiggled the large shirt inside his pants, creating a bulge inside them and then he took a silk scarf and wrapped it around his neck a few times. Killua thought Ging was getting too close to wanting to strangle himself. 

He passed a hand over his hair trying to flatten it, and then looked at Killua through the reflection. “Better ?” 

Killua shook his head amazed by how ridiculous he looked. “Now I know where Gon gets his fashion taste.”

Killua’s eyes widened as he heard himself say these words out loud. An awkward silence fell on them and he tried to recover. “I meant…” but it was too late. “I’m sorry… it’s weird that I bring him up right ?” Just like he had been careful around Gon, he had made sure never to mention Ging’s son again.

He saw Ging hesitate. “Don’t worry about it… If anything I’m glad you both have each other.”

Killua pondered those sentiments for a moment, he  _ was _ lucky to have someone like Gon in his life. 

He walked the few feet that separated them. He took Ging’s shirt out of his pants and went inside the dresser, “take this shirt off…” he ordered before going through the choices. He found a plain white t-shirt to which he matched a long vest that had local embroidery on it in different oranges and ochre hues with some deep red details. He looked around for pants and found some weightless summer beach pants that seemed to have a nice fit to them. “Try these.”

Ging obeyed, looking at the pants as if he had never seen them. Once he was all dressed up, he turned to look at himself, a scowl on his face. He didn’t seem satisfied, but Killua couldn’t help but find him hot in this outfit. 

He eyed Killua. “Seriously ? I mean isn’t that too simple ?” 

“Believe me, you should do simple, and with the right belt and shoes… it will all look good.” Killua crossed his arms, satisfied, and came closer to Ging. “And you should consider shaving.” 

As a reply, Ging rubbed his scruffy beard on his cheek, making Killua giggle. 

“So I guess my work here is done ?” he added, feigning to leave but Ging grabbed his hand turning him back into his arms. 

“You dressed me up, now you have to undress me.” He pushed Killua on his bed who let it happen. “Hmmm, you look good in my bed.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so blessed to have people still read this despite my unpredictable publishing habbit ! 
> 
> I'm also so glad to have seen another killuging being published !!  
> Click the tab and go read Slowlange's Killuging one-shot !! 
> 
> Also... I sorta have a twitter now if you want to follow me. I poster a Killuging art recently.  
> @killuamorow
> 
> Thanks for reading, kuddoing and commenting !!


	12. Acropolis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said I was almost done !   
> Here's chapter 12, please enjoy !   
> Major thanks to Peach for helping me editing. Go read her work too !! (Forbiden Fruit)
> 
> I'm planning on finishing this before New Years... Crossing fingers !

**Chapter 12 - Acropolis**

  
  


Camelia’s party was going to occur in the capital of Kakin. They had only seen the city briefly when they first landed in Kakin and headed to the Azulo site. The city was surrounded by two main rivers that made the landscape greener than anywhere else in the empire. It had been historically a capital to many dynasties before the Kakin one. 

The rest of the landscape was mostly desert. Some Beduns lived there, another nomad tribe that was more established than the Khalkans, well-known even by tourists who sought their knowledge of the desert and camel races. But most of their income came from the money the empire paid them to let foreigners visit the Itra’s ruin. 

Itra was the first archaeological discovery in the Azian continent, a full city carved in the Canyon’s rock, many kilometers long. A lot had been scavenged and sold to Padokea’s museum’s, most of the money going to the royal family but amongst all the tribes, the Beduns were probably those who were best treated by the Kingdom even though they went through many injustices as well. 

In the piles of documents Ging had made Killua go through, he read that it was because the NACPO - 5 ( Natural and Cultural preservation organization) , supervised by the V-5, had made the Beduns the official guardians of the ancient city of Itra, earning them relative independence from the Kingdom. 

The Friday of the event, they didn’t work on the field. Instead, they readied themselves for the five hour bus drive to the capital city. Camelia booked their hotel near the palace she renovated herself. It wasn’t a five star hotel, those were all taken by the VIPs, but the kingdom was so rich that even the simplest hotel had top-notch services and beautiful designs. 

Each intern had their own single room, some with a view to the Royal Palace where the current ruler lived, a fairy tale castle with towers that could almost touch the clouds and a shining wall that reflected the sun. It was a jewel amongst rocky buildings and dusty roads. 

Killua’s room, however, offered a view of the not so distant desert beyond the southern river. The horizon looked infinite and Killua felt sucked in by it, a feeling that reminded him of a certain man’s eyes. 

He was eager for the event. They had all afternoon to get dressed properly and wash away the bus smell. He knew he wouldn’t see much of Ging during the event, but he was looking forward to watching him navigate the crowd from a distance. 

Gon wanted to use the opportunity of the party to talk with members of the project and he was making Killua tag along. As curious as he was, he didn’t know what there was to find out and what it would change. 

He was hooking on his belt when he heard a knock on his door. He unlocked it and Gon waltzed in. He wore a long sleeve light blue shirt and the fancy black pants Killua had picked up for him. On his arm he held a black jacket he didn’t seem too keen on wearing. Most places in the capital had AC, but Gon was a furness and preferred to have as few layers as possible. It took everything for Killua to convince him not to wear flip flops. “No one wants to see your toes at that event !” Killua had yelled at him. 

“You look amazing Killua !” Gon exclaimed in greeting. 

It was no secret to anyone that Killua liked to dress up and look good. For the event, he finally got to choose from a whole stack of clothes he hadn’t yet taken out of his luggage. He picked a flowy patterned short sleeved shirt unbuttoned to show his milky cleavage nicely. He added a nice little colorful silk scarf to make his blue eyes pop out and tucked his shirt into high-waisted off-white pants that stopped at his ankles, showing off his shiny brown leather shoes that matched his darker brown leather belt. The whole look highlighted his graceful features, and by the way Gon was staring, he felt pretty good about himself. 

"Did you have all of this in your bags when you came here ?" Gon asked, his voice betraying his surprise. 

"Yeah, though I didn’t get to wear half of what I brought… I didn’t really think we’d spend so much time digging in the sand." It’s not like Gon hadn’t explained to him how the internship would unfold, but he still had hoped for more events to occur. 

"Well, almost everyone is ready to go." 

When they walked down the stairs, they found the interns sitting in the lobby. They looked so different all cleaned up and ready for a fancy evening. A few eyes lingered on Killua, and he bit back a little satisfied smile. That was the effect he was going for. 

Most girls were wearing gowns except Banana who had an upgraded look from her usual geeky attire. 

"I see you are admiring my work" Spinner popped her gum next to him. 

"huh ?" 

"I dressed Banana up !" She winked at him before looking him up and down. "Damn… Mister Troublemaker indeed ?" 

Killua laughed at her comment. She didn’t look bad herself. She wore a well-fitted t-shirt decorated with a beautiful abstract image and tucked into a long flowy skirt. It was the kind of look that would be both casual and very chic depending on the accessories added. She had high pointy heels giving her two extra inches and long golden chain earrings dangling over her exposed collarbone.

"You look beautiful too" he offered. 

"Stop it, you’ll make me blush and ruin my make-up" she turned her head away. He didn’t know if she meant it or if she was just messing with him as they were so used to teasing each other by now. 

"The bus is outside waiting for us, lets go." Kite announced, pushing his students towards the two automatic glass doors. Killua turned around, not finding a certain someone he wanted to see a reaction from. He bit back the desire to ask where Ging was. 

The bus dropped them at the main gate of the old part of the city where the roads were too small for the bus to get in. They had to walk a maze of stones and old houses to get to the palace standing in the middle of a large luxurious garden with palm trees aligned amongst all sorts of exotic flowers and plants. Two fountains stood on each side of the stairs leading to the main entrance. At the top, two tall wooden doors with all sorts of mosaics encrusted in them, forming traditional patterns they had grown accustomed to, stood tall and grand.

When the doors opened, a stiff man was waiting for them. He asked for their names and, after checking his list, he let them in, counting each of them while two armed guards eyed them to make sure nothing seemed suspicious in their appearances. 

Killua had expected to walk inside a huge ballroom but instead they found another garden with a long pool in its center. The garden was surrounded by halls of columns and at the far end, another set of doors seemed to lead to the actual interior of the palace. 

They walked along the colonnes, uncharastically silent as they observed all the details and opulence of the architecture. Some people were scattered along the halls, drinking and chatting away from the music coming from the central room. It sounded like acoustic instruments and when they finally walked inside, a whole orchestra stood on a stage with dim, dramatic light giving off an intimate ambiance as if from another era. 

At least a hundred people were already there being served amuse-bouches from discrete waiters. At almost all corners of the room, a bar stood with sprawling choices of liquors and wine displayed. 

Gon nudged him to get closer to the musicians and Killua followed, watching his feet not to step on anyone’s gown. He noticed how shiny the floor was, mirroring the guests and making the space seem bigger than it already was. 

Once they were a few meters from the orchestra, they found many couches and comfortable looking chairs for people to sit and enjoy the melodious sounds coming from violins and flutes. It amazed Killua how big the event seemed. He noticed on the stage, an altar with a large glass lectern, a lone mic stood. He guessed it was for an upcoming speech Camelia had prepared. 

Behind the musicians, huge velvet curtains fell. He imagined that she had a surprise guest singer that she’d introduce after the speech. A way to mark the event. 

Gon was enchanted by the music. Killua knew Gon wanted to learn an instrument all his life but never found the discipline to be as good as he wanted to be. Gon was stubborn and a perfectionist and if he felt he couldn’t master an instrument, he would rather leave it be and focus on his studies. He never stopped listening to classical music though. 

“I’ll go get us some drinks. What do you want ?” he dared to burst Gon’s bubble. 

“ Just a beer… a local beer.”

Killua smiled, wondering why he even asked. Gon never drank anything else. He made a beeline to the closest bar that was thankfully not too crowded. 

“A beer and a Raki with ice please.” If Gon was going to go local, so would he. 

He turned around to look at the crowd while waiting for his drink and there, he spotted Ging, looking annoyed as ever with a group of high-collared people and a few he recognised from the field. 

Almost immediately, Ging’s eyes found him and the boredom left his features, the side of his mouth curling just enough for Killua to understand he was happy to see him. He pondered the possibility of saving him from the conversation he was having but he knew there was no appropriate reason for an intern to feel so comfortable with the chief manager of the most talked about archaeological project. 

“Why hello there, nice to see a familiar face.” 

To his right was none other than Pariston Hill, standing taller than he remembered him, a huge smile on his face with eyes that couldn’t convey any warmth. He had a martini in one hand with the other tucked in his pocket. 

Killua wished he could pretend he didn’t see him and go back to Gon, but he was still waiting for his drinks and Pariston was getting closer to him, looking him up and down just to make things even more uncomfortable. 

“Good evening Mister Hill.”Why was he talking like he was in a James Bond movie ?

“You don’t have to be so formal with me Killua, just call me Pariston.” And he gave him a wink while taking a slow sip of his drink. “I’m glad Prince Camelia decided to invite you, after all, I might not have had a chance to see you before the end of your internship ?” His voice had a pitch in it that was meant to be excitement, but Killua felt his empty stomach flip. 

The mention of the end of the internship made his eyes go back to Ging, who was now chatting seriously with another group of people. Killua drummed his fingers nervously, his throat feeling dry. He wanted his drink to arrive soon. 

Pariston followed Killua’s gaze to where Ging was standing. “There was nothing Camelia wouldn’t have done to make Ging come to her party. It worked out for everyone in the end, didn’t it?” He said as if he was simply thinking out loud before leaning on the bar, strategically getting closer to Killua. 

Killua bristled slightly at his personal space being invaded. He turned away from the crowd, suddenly aware that him looking like that at Ging, his superior, wasn’t a good idea under that creepy man's gaze. He coughed awkwardly, feigning impatience with the bartender. 

“Ging looks surprisingly well kept.” His eyes were lazer sharp, scrutinizing Killua’s every movement and reaction but then he turned back to the crowd, breaking the tension. “He really is something, don’t you think Killua ?” 

He couldn’t quite tell what Pariston was getting at, but he tried his best to act detached from it all. “Yeah I guess. He’s famous and we are lucky to work with him.” He remembered how everyone was excited to be on the project. There was nothing odd about an intern admiring a famous figure, right ? 

“Oh his achievements are impressive for sure, but I was referring to his character. Not easy to grasp, some would even say fickle. But under all those layers of grumpiness, he is pretty sweet.” 

That caught Killua’s attention right as the bartender dropped his two drinks in front of him, which he ignored. “How do you know Ging… I mean Doctor Freecs ?” Have they— dated before ? 

Pariston hooked his eyebrow with a knowing smile. 

“Ging and I go way back. We studied in the same university. He was always a troublemaker back then. That is when he was actually in classes. He skipped a lot.”

It wasn’t that hard to imagine, a younger Ging, not going to all his classes yet getting top grades to the frustration of his professors. 

“But every professor still adored him. They probably knew he had a bright future in front of him, and look at him now, leading projects worth billions and talking to ambassadors and members of International boards… It really isn’t an easy feat.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were jealous.” What was the deal with that man anyway ? He knew his comment was rude and unprofessional, but he somehow expected someone like Pariston to enjoy such bluntness. 

Pariston's flaccid smile turned into a gleeful one. “My, who wouldn’t be jealous of Ging’s success and accomplishment in his field? But I do pity him too, there’s a lot of stressful decisions that must be made. Difficult choices.” 

Killua didn’t like the tone he was taking. “ Well, I wouldn’t know about any of that.”

Pariston’s smile grew even wider “No, an intern wouldn’t... You probably get the cooler version of Ging.” He let a few uncomfortable beats pass. “I’m glad he followed my advice to enjoy the field and his team more. That always helped him let out some steam.” 

Killua’s eyes narrowed at him. “What do you mean ?”

Pariston feigned surprise “Well, I noticed how the project was getting to him when I last saw him. I suggested he shouldn’t be shy and just… Well, have fun. It’s not like his reputation is on the line.” His hand rose to place Killua’s little scarf better. “You really look dashing tonight.” 

That made his skin crawl, but Pariston continued to act like nothing was wrong with his words or himself as his hand went to Killua’s shoulder in a patronizing way, adding salt to an opening wound.

“Well now, I guess you will have a great recommendation letter at the end of this internship. We should keep in touch, I can find you other projects.” 

Killua’s blood boiled at the suggestion. His hand turned into a fist, trembling at his side and hesitating to strike. But he never got the chance to let loose as Pariston waved to a friend in the crowd. “Cheadle ! Hi there !”

The woman barely gave him a glance as she ducked into the crowd, Pariston not fazed in the slightest. “Ah well, I have many people to talk to as you can imagine. If you feel lonely, let me know. I can share many anecdotes of Ging’s when he was younger.”

And Killua found himself alone holding two drinks. 

\---

After taking a few minutes to cool down, Killua found Gon chatting with one of the scientists on the project. He dropped Gon’s beer next to him as Gon introduced them. “Dr. Ginta, I think you remember Killua, he is also an intern on the project.” 

Ginta was a large man with bushy hair and big dowey eyes, he was hard to lose in a crowd. “Ah, yes, hello.” 

Gon gave Killua a quick glance with an innocent smile. “I was just telling Dr. Ginta about how lucky we are to be making discoveries that could change history.” 

Killua nodded and observed Dr. Ginta shifting in place, his eyes avoiding them. “Well, every archaeological discovery changes history…” 

“Of course, we just don’t have a lot of experience and that probably amplifies our excitement,” Killua added. “We never had a chance to see the latest artifacts but Ata Kaleb seemed extremely pleased.”

Dr. Ginta stilled and looked between the two. “Is that so ? What did he tell you?”

Killua smirked. This man had no subtlety. Gon had really found the perfect person to question. “He wouldn’t tell, so we were hoping the team would.”

There was no doubt in either Gon or Killua’s mind at this point that something was overtly being hidden. Dr. Ginta kept fidgeting and trying to find someone else to talk to. He eventually decided to speak “You know this isn’t really the place.” He hummed “Are you enjoying the evening ?” He diverged the subject. Killua shrugged. They wouldn’t get any more information, but they didn’t need to. Something was up and they’d figure it out eventually. 

“Greatly, yes” Gon was happy to answer. “Our trip in Kakin has been fun and we are grateful to witness such an event in such a beautiful palace.” 

That subject made Ginta relax. “Princess Camelia has exquisite taste and cares greatly about her country, she works hard for its international reputation. As it deserves.”

For some reason, that caught Killua’s attention. “You mean, by opening up the borders to foreign trades ?” 

“That of course, but her effort has made Kakin a candidate to join the V-5. It’s only a matter of days now.” Pride punctuated every word as Killua felt uneasy about the information, shouldn’t such news be more out in the open ? His thought went immediately at the Khalkans and how this gain in power for the empire would affect them. 

He saw Gon move forward, ready to question more, having forgotten all about the tomb and it’s mysteries when the music stopped and the light shut down, leaving just a few candles and the moonlight to give some ambiance to the space. 

A spot hit the stage where the lutrin stood and someone ascended the steps. A woman with dark skin, black hair and lucious lips took the mic, holding a few cards. The evening was suddenly turning into an award show which Killua started to find heavy. 

“Ladies and Gentlemen, good evening and thank you for being here. As you all know, Princess Camelia invited you all to celebrate with her this restored palace…” The woman went on to talk about some of the princess' achievements. Killua didn’t focus anymore, finding it odd that the word “princess” was used to refer to Camelia. He looked at Gon who seemed to have the same puzzling wonder in his face and he tried to catch Ging in the crowd but the darkness of the room wouldn’t let him see him correctly. 

“Please welcome Princess Camelia, eldest daughter of King Nasubi Hui Guo Rou.” 

A wave of distinguished applause filled the room as they watched a tall woman walk the stage, her blonde long hair pulled up in a stylish ponytail and a victorian type gown that reminded Killua of his mother’s style… he recoiled at the image. 

“Good evening everyone and welcome. As you might have noticed, this palace hasn't been named properly yet, and I wanted to inaugurate it with all of you. To make the evening that more special, I’ve invited amongst my friends and families, people who understand the importance of History and tradition.” 

She paused dramatically, letting people bask in her words. 

“Of course, I have many people to thank for making our Kingdom such a rich culture where the elite of the world travel miles to visit. Today, we are honored to have among us Doctor Ging Freecs who is working on the very colossal Azulo site. I’ve spared no expense to provide Doctor Ging the best people to help dig out part of our ancient history.” 

She waited for the applause to shower Ging, a spotlight having found him. He bore a serious face but it didn’t betray any feeling Killua could guess. Was he annoyed by the attention or was there something else? Not far behind, Pariston harbored a delighted smile and was clapping exaggeratedly and seemed to be shouting “bravo” in Ging’s direction. 

Camelia’s musical accent came back, quieting the room once more. “The site is one of the biggest archaeological projects in recent decades and is the first step of a great partnership between Kakin’s Kingdom and the Republic of Padokea. Something I personally will make sure of.”

Another pause was made, this time for dramatic reason it seemed as her lips moved upward in a self satisfied smile. She lifted the mic from it’s support and took a few steps backward, getting closer to the curtains. 

For anyone who just happened to be there, it almost looked like she was going to break into a song and reveal a band behind her but as Killua noticed the press preparing to take pictures, he tensed up, wary of what to expect. 

“As I mentioned, this palace still needs a name and what better name than…” She made a movement with her hands making the curtain fall to reveal a stele behind protective glass. It looked like the one they had discovered but had more of a funeral style to it.

“Killua…” He heard Gon’s voice next to him among the awe of the crowd. 

“ Zedora ! The last queen of the Bastien empire !” The cheering of the people grew bigger while Killua’s eyes looked at the stele more intently. 

“Killua, what does the stele say ?” 

But he didn’t have time to give him the answer because Camelia was giving it to them. “I am proud to reveal today one of the greatest discoveries of our times, we have for many years thought of Senad as being the last King of the empire and the history was filled with mystery. As this stele proves it, rulers could be both queens or kings and the legend of Zedora is now confirmed.” 

She didn’t need to say more of what was implied. The stele was flashing under the press’s camera and the princess's smile only grew wider as she gave people time to process the information. 

To his side Gon had understood the same as Killua what she was saying between the lines. _ I am the next ruler of Kakin and you better be kissing my boots. _ “Do you think Ging knew ?” 

Ging ? 

Killua tried to find him in the crowd but only saw the outline of his shape. He was still, unmoving but he couldn’t see any tension in his shoulders… Ging knew about that stele, there was no doubt in that but did he know that the princess wanted to reveal it here tonight ? Could she even do that without his permission ? 

Images of Ging’s being more exhausted and grumpy on the field and all these new people and extra meetings he was having flewed back in Killua’s mind. Ging was the type of man to always be a few steps ahead of everyone. 

His eyes caught Pariston’s, standing not so far from Ging. He was actually near one of the photographers and when another flash of the camera went off, he saw Pariston eyebrows raised and a creepy smile vaguely hidden behind his champagne glass. 

All these new information accumulating turned Killua’s insides upside down. What did Killua really know about Ging ? From the first time they talked, Killua knew Ging had a mountain of knowledge and experience he couldn’t even imagine. He stupidly tried to be his match. Now what he thought was a mountain, was in fact the tip of an iceberg and underneath lurked a lot of unknown. 

As if he was stealing any chances for Killua to ever find out more, Ging turned to leave. 

Had Pariston not talked to Killua, he would have found it understandable. Ging would want to avoid having to answer questions. Killua might have even gone after him, trying to convince him to find a quiet place just for the two of them. Now he felt glued to his place. 

“Let’s get another drink Gon” he said simply, and Gon didn’t question it. He looked just as surprised as most people in the crowd.

An hour had passed since the big reveal. A lot of people had left the party, mostly the press and some elite politicians that only came for the speech and the photos and probably had other events to cram into the rest of the night.

The group of students managed to find each other and started to speculate on the information tossed at them. Kite hadn’t said anything to anyone either, and they all suspected he might not have known. 

They were sharing a bottle of vodka that Spinner and Pokkle managed to convince one of the bartenders to let them have. Most of them were getting tipsy as they sat in one of the lounge areas, getting into absurd debates and conspiracy theories. Killua nursed the same glass of vodka the whole time, not feeling up to the challenge to seek the same buzz they were all going for. 

“When I become a famous zooarchaeologist, I’ll make myself a Zedora palace like this one !” Pokkle had slurred, a groggy smile on his face as he looked up to the many paintings and mosaics on the ceiling. 

Killua followed his gaze, thinking he didn’t actually visit the palace outside the main room and the entry gardens. He nudged Gon who had sleepy eyes to see if he wanted to join him. “Mmmm, I actually looked around earlier, but if you want to go to the gardens later, I’m in !” 

Killua nodded and told him he’d call him when he goes outside. In the meantime, he walked out of the main ballroom and realized, once alone and far from the commotion, how taxing the event had been. The quietness of the halls was welcome as he walked alongside the columns and lost himself in the maze that was the inside of the palace. 

This country was known to be warm all year long and the way this palace was made had the inside and out merge in and out from room to room. It was amazing how one moment he was inside what seemed to be a dinning room and the next, the ceiling would disappear and fruits trees replaced the colonnes. 

He took some stairs and found himself in another outdoor space that gave a beautiful view of the old city and the gardens that separated them from it. He sat on the railing, nursing the rest of his vodka that was now too warm to be enjoyable and taking in how the gardens were organised 

A few minutes passed of blissful peace before he heard footsteps coming his way. He thought that this would be his cue to leave and maybe actually visit the gardens now. 

“This party was a drag.” 

Of course. Who else would want to seek some alone time other than Ging Freecs himself? 

Killua took him in and noticed his cheeks were slightly flushed and his shirt had been loosen up a little. Did he go off to drink ? He wouldn’t be surprised if Ging knew one of the bartenders personally and hid with him to drink until he felt the strength to talk to some more people. 

Ging came and sat next to him. He wasn’t too drunk; his eyes were sharp, but he did seem more relaxed. He leaned on Killua to take in his smell. 

“I didn’t get a chance to tell you how good you looked tonight,” he said quietly. Even with no one in eavesdrop, he told him those words like they were a secret he didn’t even want the stars to know. 

Killua usually loved these little moments of attention, but after the event of the night, he couldn’t muster the strength to enjoy them. He avoided Ging’s eyes and looked away into the garden. He hated that Pariston’s words had spread their venom inside him. He had no reason to believe any of them, but Ging’s kind words didn’t sound kind anymore and all the secrecy wasn’t endearing or expected but felt like they were confirming Pariston’s claims. 

The truth was, it made a fear spread in him. The fear of meaning nothing to Ging… Of being just a stain in his long career, a fleeting moment of greed and weakness he’d soon forget. But that was the deal, wasn’t it ? He knew in ten days, it was the end. Was he that hopeful for more ? Has that ever been a possibility ? 

And why was  _ more _ an indicator of anything ? Was the length of a relationship really what made it valuable ? Didn’t all these stolen moments have their weight and meaning even if they were bound to become memories soon? 

The ephemirity of their relationship didn’t mean he never thought their bond wasn’t profound. That it wasn’t love. 

“Killua.” 

He turned his head slightly to show he heard him but his eyes stayed glued to the gardens, fighting the tears that threatened to appear if he let his thoughts spiral more. 

Ging kissed him gently on the temple. “I’ve been wanting to sneak you in a room all night… I can’t stand this crowd but at least you are here.” He wrapped his arms around him and nuzzled his head on his shoulder.

A few hours ago, these words, these touches would have made Killua’s heart melt and he’d be on a mission to find an empty room, but now the impact of them made him swallow down the words he wanted to spat, knowing full well they weren’t fair to Ging. It was his own insecurities that wanted to come out, feeding on Pariston’s words. 

So he stayed mute. 

“Are you okay ?” Ging finally asked. His eyes never left Killua observing all of his body language that was practically screaming he wasn’t okay.

“I’m fine, I’m just-”

“tired ?” Ging didn’t let him finish his sentence, he had that no bullshit look on him. “Isn’t that the typical excuse to hide how you actually feel ?” 

Something snapped inside Killua at Ging’s tone. “Fuck off ! What do you care if I’m feeling like shit ?” 

Ging didn’t grace him with an answer, he expected him to just leave, let Killua deal with his angst like the immature teen he was and find him later when he was in a better mood. When he would be _ in the mood _ . 

But instead Ging grabbed him by the arm and dragged him up some more stairs that led to places of the palace that were still being restored. He opened the first door that seemed far enough and slammed it shut . 

The room was mostly empty with construction material lying around and a hole in the wall for a window, letting some of the moonlight shape their bodies. It was unfinished, abandoned… The parallels hit him and he took a sharp breath in. 

He turned to find Ging standing between him and the door, arms crossed. “Now talk.” 

Killua eyed the door, finding no way around Ging. “Did you tell anyone about us ?” He accused It was only a part of the issue. Pariston obviously knew something was up, and he wondered how close these two actually were. 

Ging frowned “What ? Of course not! Why would you-” He cut himself, eyes going wide “Did someone tell you something?”

“What if someone did ? Would your reputation suffer from it ?” _ I’m just a stain in your career, an outlet at best ? _ He snarled back with words that weren’t from him. 

Ging’s face had honest concern, and it managed to make Killua feel guilty about letting this get to his head. He dropped his gaze to look at their feet, noticing Ging had worn basket shoes. Despite all the effort he put into his outfit, he still sought comfort. 

“Killua, who did you talk to ?” His voice was stern and commanding. 

“No one... I’m just being paranoid. Maybe I am more drunk than I thought.” He pressed his finger at the bridge of his nose as the need to get out of this room and that conversation grew. His paranoid thoughts bumbling inside his now aching brain. 

“So is that it ? That’s the excuse ? You’re tired, paranoid and drunk ?” His sarcastic tone didn’t go unnoticed even as his voice stayed even. 

“Why aren’t you pissed ?” 

“About what ? Your accusation or your attitude ?” 

Killua ignored him, shifting the conversation about the next frustration passing through his foggy mind “About Camelia ! About that speech ! Did you know ? Doesn’t that change everything ? How did she even get that information ?” Killua spat out all he could burying his true concerns underneath it all. 

Though Killua had almost shouted that last question, Ging didn’t flinch. 

Ging always had all the cards in his hand. Killua was a bystander, and he shouldn’t be complaining about it. He had asked for it, begged for it even. 

To his surprise Ging didn’t answer even one of his questions. In the weeks they shared, Ging had become an expert at reading Killua and being so exposed made him that more anxious, that more scared. Ging saw through the layers of his worried words and cut right through.

“What’s  _ really _ bothering you Killua ?” 

Ging knew, of course he did. Of course he knew Killua was trying to take the conversation away from what was eating him. 

_ Why does nothing bother YOU _ ? He wanted to ask, but he made a move to leave instead. “Forget it, I’m just overthinking things. We should get back before people get suspicious.” He tried to pass, but Ging caught him, stopping him from getting anywhere near the door. 

He pulled his arm to wriggle himself out of his grip, struggling in doing so while Ging’s other hand grabbed his wrist and tried to spin him to face him. 

All of it felt ridiculous to Killua trying to fight his way out of Ging’s grasp. “Stop it ! Just let me go. This is stupid.” 

They wrestled back and forth until Ging’s exasperation reached its peak. 

“Will you just talk, you brat !” 

Killua froze at that. 

Ging had called him a brat many times, and he knew it was always meant to be somewhere in between a tease and a pet name. It usually made him smile, but tears were his only response this time. 

All the frustrated energy left Killua’sbody as he instantly stopped struggling and hid his face in Ging’s neck, shuddering slightly when Ging’s arms embraced him. His quivering lips let out a small sob, confirming that he wasn’t okay. 

Finally, in a low, shaky voice, he admitted to himself and Ging, “I don’t want this to end.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one chapter left... How are you feeling the angst ?   
> Are you going to cry with me ?   
> And what about Camelia "over the top gender party reveal" (as a friend kindly put it) ? 
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts below,   
> Thank you all for reading !


	13. Lapilli

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all ! Happy New Year! 
> 
> So this is it... It's over!!  
> This chapter is long and contains sexual content! Be warn. 
> 
> Thanks to Peach for helping me wrap this!! I couldn't have done it without you!

**Chapter 13 -** **Lapilli (little stones)**

The night ended without them talking much more. Ging kept Killua in his arms, soothing him until he felt better. 

Killua didn’t bring up his confession again and Ging didn’t give him any answer. 

It left Killua feeling a bit hollow inside even though he refused to regret anything he had said. The end weighed on him more than he anticipated. 

He had been warned that this wasn’t going to be a happy ending, that this would never get the chance to blossom into a full relationship, yet the reason why hardly felt convincing. 

Killua’s mind kept trying to find possible avenues for a future, for more. Like a drug addict trying to hatch a ridiculous plan just to be sure he’ll be able to afford his next hit. He was awake in his large bed, alone ever since the early sun hit his window. The heat on his skin was the only comfort he found there. 

The group had left the party around midnight. It was a quiet ride back with small, hushed exchanges breaking the silence only a few times. A mixture of drunkenness, tiredness and shock enveloped them, siphoning their energy. 

Killua waited for a sign of life outside his door before finding the will to get up. Today, they only had one thing on the schedule: visiting Itra’s ruins. After the party, Kite decided to keep things light and simple. He knew one of the scientists that worked on the site and the visit would include a personalised tour guide with hopefully engaging commentary, making the idea of being stuck with hundreds of tourists much easier to swallow. 

A few muffled steps echoed outside his door before a soft knock came. Killua recognized Gon immediately. The day was about to start. 

Itra was a NACPO - 5 wonder, they arrived before the site opened, and thanks to Kite’s connection, they entered before anyone else could. 

As they walked their first steps, they all fell silent in awe at the view. Miles of carved stones spread out in front of them with many hidden doors, windows and other mysteries. The first thing Killua noticed was how different the worn architecture were from what they were used to seeing in Kakin.

“You can walk around here for thirty minutes, then we’ll meet at the first temple to start the tour with Dr. Saiyu,” said Kite before heading off with Dr. Saiyu. 

Further down the path, they met their first Beduns settling their tents and shops for the upcoming tourists. 

“We aren’t open yet, but you can look at our amulets, young boy.” 

A girl appearing to be a few years younger but with eyes so deep she looked like she had lived many lives before, gestured towards her wares. She eyed Killua with curiosity. He always had to remind himself how odd looking he was for most people here. “Thank you, but I don’t want to buy anything.” 

“Wait, what kind of amulets are we talking about here.” Pokkle popped up from behind. “Anything for…” he hesitated and began to look uneasy. 

“Down there ?” The girl asked unphased. Killua burst into laughter. 

“NO!” He whined. “I meant… For good luck in love.” 

The girl silently pointed to the stones next to an older woman wearing many necklaces and a light veil over herself. Pokkle followed her lead and soon enough, he was spilling his heart out to the woman. The girl turned to Killua. 

“Are you also looking for luck in love ?” 

It was surreal to see such a young girl with such awareness. 

“No.” Luck wouldn’t do anything for him. 

“Good, because they don’t work.” She smirked and went about staging the rest of her goods. 

The rest of the morning went about uneventfully. They ended the tour at the main temple that sat high above a hill while tourists from many different countries started to flood in. Some of the interns who were getting tired took the offered donkeys to get there. 

At the top of the hill, the group took pictures with the astonishing view behind, one of their last outings and souvenirs together. Even that notion started to ache at Killua’s heart. He was so caught up in quietly mourning the inevitable end with Ging that he barely considered his time was also ending with the other interns.

\---

They returned to the hotel in the afternoon. The interns had briefly mentioned the idea of going out to party, the capital was famous for its extravagant nightclubs. Killua wasn’t a fan of these clubs back home and he didn’t find it any more appealing in Kakin but he had no desire to stay the night alone in his room with his whirling thoughts. 

As he arrived in front of his door, Killua passed his keycard and the light flashed red. He frowned, annoyed and passed it a few more times, huffing. He let his head drop back at the idea of going back down to the lobby to try and figure the issue. 

Thankfully the lobby was clear aside from the concierge looking slightly bored. 

Killua coughed softly to get his attention. There was no way he was going to ring the little bell. He hated when his mom did that. 

“Hmmm,” he said, gaining the concierge's attention. “Excuse me, I think my keycard has been deactivated.”

The concierge moved to his computer. “Room, please.”

“402.” 

“Ah ! Killua Zoldyck, yes, you have been checked out.” 

“I’m sorry, what ? We aren’t leaving until tomorrow.” A mild panic took over but he also knew he could just bump in Gon’s room. What he dreaded more was having to deal with procedure and getting Kite involved. He was going to brush it off when he saw the concierge look at his screen more thoroughly. 

“There’s a note. I’ll check with my manager. Just a moment.” 

Killua crossed his arms on the counter. It was late in the afternoon and he hoped Gon hadn’t dosed off already. 

He heard the concierge speak to his manager in KaKin language. The accent of the capital was more articulated than in the rural region, but there wasn’t much information from this end of the conversation to get, so he waited for him to finish. 

When the concierge hung up, he had a small smile on his face like he just had been tipped or something. “We actually have a car waiting for you, Mr. Zoldyck.”

Killua’s cheeks went hot. He had a suspicion as to who was behind this, but he wanted confirmation. “Who made that arrangement ? Where to ?”

The concierge hesitated as if he second guessed if Killua was in fact the right Killua. “I wasn’t given the details, but I was told you would know.” 

A shy smile appeared on Killua’s face, the pit of his stomach filling with excitement when another thought crossed his mind. “Wait... what about my stuff ?” 

“It was all taken care of and has been placed in the car.”

The notion of someone going through his stuff didn’t sit right,but he had left most of his luggage unpacked.

“You will find the car in our back parking. It’s a black Jeep, and the driver’s name is Asha.”

Killua stepped outside. The sun hid behind the tall building, leaving long shadows stretching over the parking, but the heat was still present, bouncing off of the surrounding rocks.

He assumed the person standing next to the jeep drinking an espresso and finishing his cigarette was Asha.

Once he was a few feet from the car, Asha threw his cigarette away and moved promptly to open the door for him. It felt surreal but Killua didn’t complain. He ducked inside and sat on the leather squeaky seats, finding his luggage there and a bottle of water. 

Asha got inside and through the mirror looked at him. “Please, fasten your seatbelt.” 

As he did so, he couldn’t help but ask, “can I know where we are going ?” 

“I was told to keep that information a secret.”

Killua leaned back on his seat. The unknown that was seconds ago exciting now started to become stressful. The paranoid part of him was scared this was a scam, that it wasn’t Ging who organised this… but he was overthinking again. In an attempt to distract himself, he took his phone out and texted Gon, warning him he probably won’t make it to dinner and probably not even the club. 

Gon’s answer came seconds later: a brief “okay.” Ever since his little affair with Ging, it wasn’t rare for Killua to skip certain group activities, and Gon never pried which was convenient for the both of them.

Killua looked outside the window as they were leaving the city and drove into the desert. He hadn’t talked to Ging ever since he confessed his feelings. No messages or phone calls. Nothing. 

The night before was still fresh in his mind and he took that time to cool down. He couldn’t help but wonder how Ging was processing it all, and if he would even bring it up. He knew Ging cared for him greatly. How could he doubt that with everything Ging did to make him feel comfortable? If his words were always vague, his touches and his eyes never lied. 

Fickle. 

Pariston had used that word to describe Ging, and now he realized that Pariston hit the nail on the head with that word. The nail being Killua’s fear. That word was the very fragile string on which Killua’s emotions were trying to balance themselves. What did Ging’s genuine feelings for him really mean when things were bound to end? 

The road disappeared, and the Jeep drove through the desert with ease, shaking Killua and his thoughts. Eventually, they parked in front of a large traditional tent made of raw cotton patches of different colors. There was a small fire outside with little rocks as makeshift benches and a few meters further was a table with two chairs, a tablecloth and… candles ? 

“I will be leaving you to your evening, sir.” 

Killua turned in mild panic at being left there alone. “Wait-”

“Thanks, Asha !”

From the tent, Ging came out wearing his usual scruffy clothes and devious smile. He came close to Asha first, shaking his hand before turning to face Killua. 

Killua’s mouth dropped. Not because of the weird kidnapping or the dinner table for two that was waiting for them… but because Ging shaved his beard. He looked younger and cleaner and much more handsome than Killua would have thought possible. 

He vaguely heard the engine of the car in the distance behind him when Ging closed the gap between them and tapped his chin,encouraging Killua to close his mouth. 

“What’s that face ?” He smirked knowingly. 

Killua swallowed hard and raised his hand to Ging’s cheeks “You shaved ! Why ?” The answer was evident but he couldn’t help himself. Ging’s skin felt so soft, and his hands were at risk of becoming greedy. 

“What do you mean why ? Don’t tell me you miss my beard !” He frowned, playfulness still making his eyes shine. 

“You’re–” he wanted to say sweet, but that word felt tainted now “—ridiculous” 

Yes, ridiculous was what Ging was, but Killua’s pounding heart fondly said he loved that about Ging. 

“I was expecting a compliment.”

Ging leaned in to give him a quick peck. 

“You look very nice,” Killua kissed him back before turning to take a better look at his surroundings because he needed to have some control over his raging hormones.

He noticed a small shovel next to the table for two. 

“So is this where you kill me and bury my corpse ?” 

Ging laughed. “Too much trouble, I would just leave you here.” 

Killua shoved his shoulder into Ging playfully while the older man laughed and prompted him to follow. “I arrived just an hour before you but I had people set up the place, I hope you are hungry because this—” he pointed to the small mound next to the shovel and the table “—has been cooking since this morning.” 

Killua eyed the sand, darker and slightly fuming. His curiosity piqued as he watched Ging take the small shovel to push the sand away, revealing a carpet that he pulled off. 

Underneath was a large cover that opened into what seemed to be an underground pit. He saw Ging grab some gloves to take the lid off and a mouthwatering, smoky aroma escaped. Spices Killua recognized from the market but he couldn’t name filled his nostril and his stomach made a small growl, approving the upcoming menu. 

“This, my dear, is the best meal you will ever experience.” A sort of cage came out of the pit with lamb, chicken and a variety of vegetables in layers on top of one another. “It has been slowly cooking all day with burning embers. Sit down.” He pointed to the table and chair as he brought the fuming meat and sat it on a platter. 

Ging stayed put, waiting for a reaction. Killua looked at the food, at the man above him, and then at the beautiful landscape around them as the sun set low, leaving long shadows over the now vibrant red rocks engulfing them. 

He swallowed hard so words would more easily come out of his hanging mouth. “I can’t believe you did all this. It’s- amazing.” His voice was low, sincere, coming from a part of himself that didn’t often see the light of day, too fragile for the world. 

Ging smiled and leaned for a soft kiss before sitting. “Felt like making this night special. We don’t often get a chance to have proper dates,” he added, without any shame or hesitation.

_ Dates.  _ Killua smiled at the word. 

The meal was above his expectation as he tasted the soft meat. It only needed a fork to be cut. As they ate, they talked about the history of the place and their anecdotes of the day, like that Bedun woman trying to convince Pockle that the rocks she sold could make anyone fall in love with him. 

The temperature started to drop as the sun slowly got swallowed by the horizon. Ging went to add more wood to the small fire he had prepared earlier. He then lit the torches next to their table, highlighting his features in orange and yellow light. 

Ging seemed so in tune with the desert. He was made to navigate these natural, beautiful yet wild environnements. 

“So I arranged the inside of the tent to be as comfortable as possible. Whenever you are tired… just let me know.” 

Killua couldn’t help but feel a part of his ego being poked at. “Why ? You don’t think I could sleep in the outdoors?” 

His experience was limited but he could handle himself. 

Ging raised an eyebrow at him, a little crooked smile asking to be convinced otherwise. “Really ?”

“Yeah, you hippie !” 

With a grin on his face and lamp torch in hand, Ging ducked inside the tent. Killua followed him to see how, indeed, the place was set up very nicely. His too sensitive heart grew twice its size as he noticed all the effort Ging had put in to make the place comfortable—the pillows, the mattress, the many layers of wool. There was also a copper sink and camping stove to heat water and a divider for washing up. He even made a place for Killua to lay out his clothes.

“Help me out with the mattress,” said Ging, snapping Killua out of his awe. 

They lifted it outside, not too far from the tent and all their stuff, but far enough from the fire so no coal would fly on it. They retrieved some pillows and covers and managed to recreate the little nest. 

“Now what ?” Killua tried to hide his mischievous thoughts as he got closer to the man that always managed to make him shiver more than any cold breeze. 

Ging fell back onto the bed, arms behind his head acting like he hadn’t noticed Killua’s attempted seduction. “Now we enjoy the view of a clear sky.” 

Killua didn’t let it phase him. Ging always liked to play games like that so he crawled on the bed, straddling him. Calloused hands followed up his thighs and stopped at his hip bones. Ging’s eyes grew darker than the sky. 

“Hmmm… The view just got better.” 

Killua leaned down against him, hands on either side of his head. “Thanks for tonight,” he said before going in for a soft kiss, moving his lips slowly. He appreciated how lucious Ging’s own lips were and how soft his skin was, hidden under that unkept beard.

“You having a good time ?” Ging mumbled between kisses. 

“Yeah…” 

Killua broke the contact to lock his eyes on him. A little worry passed through him as he remembered their last night. It felt like days had passed,his feelings having flipped once more thanks toGing’s ability to always surprise him. 

“I’m sorry about yesterday,” he said quietly, “I guess I’m getting a little angsty with us having only a week left…” He wanted to say so much more but kept it all tucked away. 

He leaned back, and Ging’s hands never breaking from the hold he had on him, anchoring him in the present moment. 

“Don’t apologize for that.” 

For someone who had no problem being blunt, Ging rarely dug deep inside his emotions with words. His actions, his touches were always louder, but Ging once more, surprised him. 

“I never thought about my reputation or career, you know. It was never the reason why I hesitated to be with you… I hesitated because I didn’t want you to get hurt. Do you regret it ?”

Killua's heart swelled. How ironic it was all. He was the one who was at a loss of words this time, and so he crashed his lips against Ging’s moving his hands to cup his face and kiss both of their worries away. 

The air was getting even colder as dusk bled into a dark night. Killua pressed his forehead to Ging’s. “No… I’m sorry for letting you think I did.” 

Ging’s hands moved up his back, playing under the fabrics protecting him from the cold air. He looked relieved and wrapped around him, caressing him in a grateful manor. 

Killua eventually rolled to the side to snuggle and take in the sky Ging had wanted to show him. They stole little kisses, enjoying a moment of peace of mind and tender touches. 

Killua broke their silence. “It’s beautiful out here.”

“Yeah. I love being in the desert,” Ging said, looking at Killua in his arms. 

Love.

That was the first time Killua heard him use that word. But he found himself agreeing, the infinite horizon was bewildering, emphasizing how little they were, and how every moment was as fleeting as sand slipping between your fingers. 

“Hmm ?” He encouraged softly for Ging to talk, to tell him more about his feelings for the desert.

Understanding, Ging complied. 

“This has been the project I was the most excited for in my career. Sure, the prospect of untouched land was appealing…” his fingers explored Killua’s skin beneath his clothes, “but it was really the landscape that drew me here.” His fingers moved over each one of Killua’s ribs. “The perfect place for some soul searching.” His hand stopped on his heart, feeling its rhythm. “The desert is ruthless and infinite, it strips you out of your ego and reveals to you your true nature.” 

They shared a look. 

A question unasked. 

An answer withheld. 

Their lips met.

“This place is special,” Ging added.

Killua remembered how Ging took him to see the  Maruth’s stones  on the first week of his arrival. He smiled at the memory. From the beginning, Ging had invited him in. How did he ever doubt him ? 

Unable to hold his gaze anymore, Killua turned his head to look at the stars above, completing the perfect scenery. Infinite horizon met infinite stars. Stars that were billions of years old, some already dead by the time their light reached their eyes. Even those stars were nothing more than a promise from the past. 

A shooting star passed above them. Killua shot up, amazed. “Did you see that ?” 

“Yeah” Ging smiled fondly. 

He fell back in Ging’s arms and his thoughts followed the shooting star. 

Killua felt his eyes sting, blinking away the wetness. “The desert,” he whispered, “everything is so still here, like time has stopped, but you and I… We are more like that shooting star, right ? It all passes so fast.” 

Ging brought Killua closer in his arms, kissing his forehead. “I guess we are.” 

Killua sighed. “It all passes so fast.”

A hand pushed Killua on his back suddenly, and then Ging’s broad form hovered over him. Killua’s fingers snaked to his neck to bring him closer to him. The invitation was taken hungrily as Ging kissed him on the forehead, then the tip of his nose and finally, his eager lips.

Killua closed his eyes, feeling the ghosts of warmth where Ging’s lips had graced him. He wanted more of these subtle marks on him, deeper in his skin so he could never forget. 

The many layers they wore to protect from the cold quickly became obstacles for the visceral need to feel each other’s heating skin. Ging took his time peeling each one of them, a ripe fruit ready for his ardent hands and mouth to consume. 

“Ging…” Killua pleaded. He grabbed at Ging’s sweater and pulled on it. He didn’t care that he sounded needy and desperate. That’s exactly the state he was in and he lifted his hips, urging the man still taking his sweet time to move faster, to get naked faster and take him so much faster. 

A small chuckle escaped Ging. “Can you be patient for once ?” He shook his head at Killua’s impatience. “I’ll make you feel good, just let me enjoy you a little first.”

And so Killua surrendered. 

Once a piece of fabric fell, feathered kisses covered the new exposed skin. Wherever those soft lips touched, brazing fire lit Killua alive. His body was uncovered piece by piece like a reverse puzzle that reveals a secret image only to the most patient. There was no time for the cold to take over as warm hands travelled every curve and line of his naked form. 

Ging leaned back, his eyes squinting to take in the view but his smirk told Killua he wasn’t done yet. They followed his perfect immaculate chest, down his navel, to his half hard dick and long legs. “I can’t get over how gorgeous you are.” 

Killua felt the heat move up to his face and cheeks, and he bit his lips to hide his smile. 

Ging showed no reaction as he offered in return an eyeful of himself, slowly stripping away the layers and revealing the golden muscle that Killua had so many times explored and adored. 

Both of their naked bodies met and their limbs intertwined under the stars. Burning desires rushed through Killua’s overwhelmed nerves demanding more touch, more friction and more connection. He dug his fingers hard against Ging’s back, tracing his spine all the way up to settle over his neck to bring Ging’s mouth down to the crook of his neck. 

“I want to trace and mark every inch of you,”Ging muttered, breathing out delirious words of adoration for his youthful body offered willingly on the desert’s altar. His lips parted to lick Killua’s ear from the junction between his neck to his shoulder where he lingered and nibbled. A sensation so tender yet so vivid. A first mark was left there. 

Killua took a sharp breath of hot air as Ging’s wet tongue continued its venture down more sensitive parts. His nipples, pink and erect, asked for attention and Ging’s expert mouth knew how to satisfy each one equally while Killua squirmed underneath him. 

“I like feeling every one of your shivers when I pinch your nipples,” Ging said, smirking deviliously before switching his attention to the other. 

A whine left Killua’s lips, and it was the only answer he could give as he tried desperately to stay in the mortal realm, to be fully aware for when Ging would finally stop messing around and fill him. 

As if his body was an instrument, Ging played on his clavicles with his fingers and the ticklish sensation rolled all the way down his skin as Ging trailed each rib with care and finally curved around his side to grab his ass with his full hands, making Killua jolt at the smilluation and the upcoming promise. 

“Ging,” he sighed, “please, I can’t wait anymore.” Ging laughed next to his ears, to Killua’s annoyance. 

“I also like how shamelessly eager you are, but I’m not done enjoying this.” 

A resigned growl escaped Killua, too pent up to take his teasing with grace. He made a move to touch himself, incapable of ignoring his leaking cock anymore. How was Ging able to contain himself ? 

But Ging caught his hand and rose it to his lips, giving little pecks before parting his lips and sucking on his fingers languidly and coating them from base to tip. Killua swallowed at the sight, so hot and definitely not helping him be any more patient.

“If you are really so desperate to touch yourself,” he trailed, giving a final lick and guiding his hand to his entrance, “let me at least help you.” 

He took Killua’s middle finger and pressed it gently, observing Killua’s features shifting from awe to satisfaction. With his other hand, Ging massaged his ass and spread his legs so he could settle himself where another matter was in dire need for attention. While still helping Killua prepare himself, Ging's mouth took the top of his cock slowly, letting his tongue play with the glans. 

“Fuck!” Killua’s head snapped backward at the pleasure travelling through him. He was afraid to come too fast, having waited for what seemed like hours to get any attention on his throbbing dick. This ecstatic feeling accompanied by the stimulation and opening of his sensitive rim made Killua’s eyes roll , mouth agape but incapable of letting sounds come out. 

As if he sensed his distress, Ging took him all in to the base and slowly moved up and down at an achingly slow pace. 

Killua planted his feet on the fabric, curling his toes in the covers, his silent bliss rapidly turning into muffled sounds. As if it wasn’t enough to drive him crazy, he could feel Ging’s grin around his cock. 

“Please…” He managed to growl, meeting Ging’s throat with a movement of his hips,but Ging only pinned him harder on the mattress. 

Long delicious minutes passed before Killua’s prayers were finally heard. Ging rose over him, a shit-eating grin on his face (or a dick-eating grin) as he spread Killua’s legs further apart.

“Where’s the fucking lube ?” Killua’s voice came out wrecked. He hoped it wasn’t forgotten inside the tent. There was no way he could let Ging leave him like this, not even for a minute. He would take him raw if it was the last thing he did. 

Ging laughed before catching his mouth for a deep kiss. “Don’t worry, I said I’d take care of you.” The rip of a condom, the snap of a bottle’s cap and the heavenly sound of a lube squishing over what Killua hoped to be Ging’s shaft made him unbelievably excited. 

“I’m so fucking ready,” he said eagerly. 

“Good,” Ging whispered in his ear.

He planted his forehead on Killua’s shoulder as he aligned his ready dick to Killua's sensitive entrance. 

“Please, Ging… I really need to feel you.” He panted out, grabbing desperately at Ging’s neck. 

For a second, he thought Ging would tease him by pressing lightly at his anus but he soon felt the first inch of his cock slide in. Killua bit into Ging’s shoulder to keep a semblance of composure. 

The familiar stretch somehow always felt new and oh so alleviating. He clutched onto Ging as he pushed slowly inside inch by inch, filling him with everything he had and fitting inside him perfectly.

Once Killua accommodated to the feeling, Ging started to move slowly, making sure to hit his prostate every time. 

Killua had been aching for a release for so long that the slow thrusting drove him crazy, and he made a shy attempt to quicken the pace, but Ging steadied him with a firm grip on his hips. 

What made the torturous rhythm acceptable wasn’t Ging’s hold, but the way he looked at him while he pushed deep inside. His eyes bore in him deeper than his dick, leaving him both vulnerable and safe. An overwhelming rush of happiness took over every single one of Killua’s nerves and tears rose to his eyes. He tried to blink them away but Ging's thumb caught one falling on his cheeks. 

He leaned in to whisper in his ear, “you’re so pretty”. 

Killua couldn’t tell what was more satisfying anymore, Ging slowly moving in and out of him, filling him each time with care, the sweet words that tickled his neck and made his breath hitch or the way Ging’s toned arms embraced him so closely, not wanting to leave any space for thoughts or doubts. 

It was them, alone, and nothing else. 

“Ging… I—l…” 

Killua wanted to say it so badly, felt it rise from the pit of his stomach to the tip of his tongue, but Ging swallowed his confession with his lips. Words would never be enough for that man. 

Ging still moved painfully slow, savoring each of Killua’s moans, tears rolled down freely as he got closer to his tipping point. The moment he had been waiting for was now coming too soon. He wanted their bodies to be engulfed by the desert, to petrify them into an artifact for future generations to discover. He wanted to live this moment in a loop forever, and the way Ging held him, he let himself believe it was mutual. 

“I’m… too close,” he cried. 

Ging rose his head to look at him. His golden pool sucked him in, inviting, “I want to see you… all of you…” 

Killua’s body froze and shuddered blissfully, the protective darkness turning white for the longest second. He felt Ging follow him and their breath blended together like their limbs. 

They stayed like that, both of them unwilling to let go of the other.

\---

Killua woke up the next morning to the first ray of sunlight, still enlaced by Ging’s warmth and the many blankets they had over their naked bodies. 

The tip of his nose was cold and he nestled closer to Ging, seeking his heat and the smell of his musky skin. Ging snored next to his ear, deeply asleep and arms heavy around him. A smile curved Killua’s lips as he dwelled in the moment and engraved it in his brain, like a bookmark placed in a favorite story. 

That was what they were slowly becoming. A story. 

Killua took the challenge to get up and get dressed after giving a kiss to Ging’s head and covering him up better. The scenery around him had changed with the morning light, the reddish rocks didn’t have hues of purples anymore but now leaned into oranges. 

He walked around, looking at every detail he could carry in his memory. The patterns on the tent, the sand shaped by the wind, the plastic chairs and tables covered with fabrics to make them more… sophisticated ? He laughed at that. 

His eyes then went up to the rocky structure that had kindly protected them from the winds, and a sudden urge to climb it and watch the scene from afar crossed him. His hands easily found the grips he needed to lift himself up. As he rose, the soft wind blew on his skin. He finally settled on a spot, about 60 feet from the ground. He sat there, satisfied, bringing his legs to him hugging them. 

The view was breathtaking, the horizon spreading even further with no trace of life. They really were alone in the desert. Ging was still laying on their bed with only his messy hair poking out from the covers. 

It took a good 15 minutes before Ging tossed and turned and slowly sat up, his head spinning right and left before he got up and grabbed his clothes, still looking around. 

Killua smirked, Ging looked so small from up here. He regretted leaving his phone in his bag because he would have loved taking a picture of Ging from this distance. 

He didn’t move, waiting for Ging’s head to snap up and find him, and as the thought crossed his mind, Ging did. He saw Ging’s white teeth from afar. His smile was always so bright.Ging raised his phone and snapped a picture of him as if he heard his thoughts. He liked thinking Ging wanted to treasure that memory too. 

Ging marched to the base of the cliff and quickly climbed to reach Killua. 

“There you are.” He said, sitting next to him and offering a kiss. “Did you have breakfast yet ?” 

“Nah, was waiting for you to wake up and… decided to change perspective.” He looked at him sideways, his lips curled to the side. 

“Smart.”

Their shoulders touched and Killua dropped his head on his, which Ging welcomed as his hand rose to play with his hair, white and tangled like . 

The memories of the night before were still in the air, lulling them into a tender bubble. He listened to Ging’s heartbeat and was sure Ging could hear his own, going faster as time passed by.

“So when do we need to leave ?” 

He wished Ging would ask him to stay here with him forever. But he held onto that thought for later, when he’d want to revisit that time. 

“We should be back in the city before check-out at 11…” He pressed Killua closer to him. “We still have time to enjoy ourselves.”

The sun was warming their skin and the heat inside Killua’s stomach was threatening to burst into a fire he wouldn’t be able to contain. His fingers curled on Ging’s clothes, demanding his attention and when he turned, he crashed his lips on his, parting his lips to let him invade him, the same way he had already invaded his thoughts and his heart. 

Ging’s hand that was gently playing with his hair was now gripping fiercely and tilting his head so that their tongues could meet. Killua let a moan out as the fire spread inside him. 

He broke the kiss, panting and lips tingling. Ging’s lips were shining with the saliva he had left there. He wanted to plunge back in, but he caught Ging’s eyes… those perfect golden eyes were casting their spell on him and his lips were only able to do one thing. 

“I love you.” 

He watched Ging’s face carefully as the words sunk in. He looked dazed, but it quickly lifted and he frowned slightly. Did he not hear him or not believe him? “I-”

“Killua… Don’t…” Ging cut him off, and his heart contracted inside his chest as he watched Ging's face get serious. It hurt but not as much as keeping everything in did. He was committed and didn’t care about the consequences. If it was over, he wanted it to end with no regrets.

“I’m not expecting you to say it back. I’m not saying this because I want more, I’m just saying it because that’s how I feel.” His eyes flickered “I am happy with how things are.” 

Ging’s shoulder sunk as he shook his head. He rarely looked so disarmed. Ging averted his eyes, looking down on their camp. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” he muttered.

“Like what ?”

“Like you think any of this is easy on me.” His voice had a fragility to it that shut Killua up. 

He realized then how selfish he had been. He had assumed so much out of fear of rejection, and even if he saw the signs that Ging cared for him, he never thought that maybe… maybe Ging also had his own apprehension over the end of their summer love, that maybe Ging had been refraining from sharing his own doubts. 

With everything that had happened on the site, Killua hated to think he might have been an extra burden to him. 

“I’m sorry” flew out of his mouth. 

Ging’s head snapped back to look at him, his frown bigger. “No. There’s nothing to apologize for.” He caressed Killua’s cheek with the back of his hand. “You’ve always been braver than me.” His words were hushed like a secret. 

He opened his mouth to say something that seemed painful to come out. He stopped himself and leaned in for a kiss instead which Killua took, closing his eyes to taste it. His hand travelled to his neck and rubbed at the nape, massaging his muscles before pulling him in his arms for a hug. “I’m the one who’s sorry, for keeping so many secrets.” 

Killua wondered what he met, were there more secrets outside of his work? But he chose to push the thought away and bask in Ging’s warmth. 

\---

On their way back, they both sat in a silence heavy with emotions. Something was being left behind them, and Killua knew they were now in their final chapter. 

There was no turning back. 

Ging’s hand found his and held it for the rest of the car ride as if he sought strength in it since he couldn’t meet his gaze. Killua slouched in his seat, eyes roaming the horizon, searching for a hope that wouldn’t turn into a mirage. 

As the landscape changed, the sand dissolving into scattered houses and then taller buildings, it lulled him. He closed his eyes to drift into a dreamless sleep. A little squeeze on his hand stirred him a little later, indicating that they had arrived back at the hotel. He recognized the parking spot where Asha had waited for him. 

He felt it all had been a dream, but Ging’s presence reassured him it wasn’t. 

“Kite will be in the lobby waiting for you guys in ten minutes or so.”

Killua hummed, his mind unable to get back to reality with Ging next to him. “I guess, I’ll see you later...” 

Ging sighed, getting closer to take his face between his hands. He looked so sad. Was he also struggling to get back to his normal life ? Did he have a lump that threatened to choke him, too ? 

“Killua…” His name was always safe in Ging’s mouth. It was always said in a firm way, but this time, it had an hesitation that made Killua wonder what he was holding back. 

Killua frowned, eyes questioning what other secret he kept. Would he just share the one? 

“I’m leaving.”

Killua’s frown grew bigger with confusion. Weren’t they all leaving? 

“I’m leaving Kakin tomorrow, I need to be at the NAPCO-5 board meeting in  Swaldani ,” Ging clarified.

Killua saw his mouth move, he heard the words but he wasn’t sure what to make of them. What did that even mean? Ging was talking about Kakin now, how the empire was going to be part of the V5 and that they needed to act fast … He knew all that already. But all he could think about is how they still had a week, and now it was taken from under him and he felt his insides falling into the chasm that was created by Ging’s announcement. 

A cold shower fell on him, washing away all the colors around him, making his vision blurry. Or was that the tears gathering in his eyes? Air struggled to get to his lungs, and he was astonished by how violent words could be. 

It was over. This was it. 

Two amber stones shimmered in front of him, guiding him back to the present moment, a beacon to reality. He tried his best to keep himself focused on them, almost forgetting to blink in the process. 

“Killua.” He called him, his face got closer as their forehead met. “I’m sorry.” 

“You keep saying that…” His voice was raw. He hated the idea of Ging keeping this information from him, of not trusting him. “When-” but that didn’t matter anymore did it? “So that’s what this night was about?”

Ging’s nod was more felt than seen “last night meant a lot…” He let Killua finish the sentence alone. Last night was Ging’s way of showing his feelings one last time.

Killua parted his dry lips slightly. “To me too,” he whispered, not sure if Ging heard him. 

Killua took a deep breath, trying to find the energy he needed to push through, to get back to his place with the interns. He managed to summon enough strength in his hands to raise them and grip on Ging’s wrists still cupping his face. 

He closed his eyes and pressed his fingers inside Ging’s wrists trying to recall the memories of the night before, trying to keep that feeling under his skin as long as possible. He wanted to brand those memories into his flesh like they were hot iron. 

Ging’s hands urged for more contact. His wordless demand turned into a kiss, closing the book once and for all. 

When the kiss broke, Killua’s arms fell heavily on his side, he grabbed his bag and took a last look at Ging, trying to keep as much of his composure as he could, a shaky smile on.  _ It was always going to end like this anyway _ , he thought as his feet marched on their own toward the hotel lobby, feeling like a zombie out of this world. 

\---

The rest of that morning was nothing but a blur of movements and words. He recognized some of them: the excited buzz of the other interns as they threw around words like “club”and “exciting,” but he couldn’t form any coherent phrases. He still tried to grasp at them anyway, to fill that void he was now left with. 

A big shadow arrived and hovered over them and after blinking a few times, Killua recognized the blue bus that brought them here. 

Kite was standing with them when he heard Monta ask him, “Where’s Doctor Freecs ?”

Killua’s heart stuttered at the mention of the one name that still commanded all of his attention. 

“Doctor Ging is staying another night in the Capital, he has business to deal with,” answered Kite. 

So Kite knew. Of course he did. The interns accepted that answer quite easily, afterall. Ging should have a meeting with Camelia, right ? 

“Come now, put your bags in the luggage compartment and hop in. We have 5 long hours ahead of us.”

Killua boarded first and headed straight for the back of the bus, sitting by the window and watching the crowd walk in the streets. It was just another day for most of them, and he envied them for it, wanting to be ignorant of what it was to feel so strongly and to lose it all with only a few words. 

In the middle of the crowd, he saw those amber eyes again. Ging was standing there, watching him, making Killua’s body feel heavier by the second. He saw his lips move, those lips he would never taste again.

What was he saying ? Did he even have the strength to try to understand?

This image of Ging alone in the crowd with a sad frown was the last Killua would get of him. And that kiss when Ging dropped him off to the hotel was the last trace of their intimacy. Those hands cupping his face with sorrow was the last warmth he would get. 

He was still facing the window as the bus drove away from Ging and from where his heart had fallen, splattered on the floor of Kakin’s capital. He vaguely wondered, inside his frozen body, if 5 hours would be enough to get out of this stupor. 

His numb mind managed to register a form in his peripheral vision. A person sat next to him, yet he couldn't pretend at any normalcy, his shell was cracked and anything could shatter it. 

“Hey…” 

He lets a few beats pass before turning. 

For a hopeful delusional second, Ging was next to him, but one blink was enough to make Gon appear in his stead, his face torn with concern. Killua wondered if he understood what happened… or worse 

“Did you… know ?” His voice was strangled by the pain of his loss and the guilt for asking Gon this.

Gon shook his head no. “But I’m not surprised…” 

Of course he wasn’t. Gon had even warned him. One of Gon’s first memories was a feeling of abandonment thanks to Ging. Killua knew that even though Gon worked his issues, he still had that experience marking him. 

He wanted to apologize to Gon for dragging him in his mess by being so naive… “Gon… I was so stupid…” For being a burden to his best friend because of the selfish quelm of his heart. 

Gon wraps his arms around him. “No, Killua, please.”

The shell shattered completely letting tears flow down his cheeks as he trembled in Gon’s arms. He didn’t care if people noticed. He couldn't force his mind to focus on any of it anyway. 

A moment ago, they still had a week. Now they really were nothing more than a summer story. A summer love that would soon  blow away with a desert night's cold wind.

\---

\---

A year passed. Coming back to life in Padokea was a rough ride but time really did make things hurt less. Killua had changed his major in the winter, deciding to go to law school. His parents were overjoyed about it, but little did they suspect he intended to work for international rights defense. 

Currently, he was in the park near campus waiting for Gon so they could have lunch together. They didn’t share any classes anymore, so they tried to share lunch as often as possible. 

He was resting his head on a blossoming apple tree when his phone buzzed. He expected a message from Gon, telling him he was late again because he got carried away assaulting one of his professor’s with one question after another.

But the number was anonymous, and there were no words… only a photo of a wall of warm colored rocks with a tiny white dot on the top left corner of the photo. It was him, Killua, on his last weekend in Kakin. 

His phone rang immediately after, and he knew who was on the other line. 

He answered, his mouth closed and heart beating fast. Months later, the effect Ging had on him was still unwaveringly the same. 

He first heard soft breathing and memories of kisses on his neck flooded his mind. 

Ging's voice finally came in.

“Hey, Killua.” 

It was solemn, private. Killua stayed mute, waiting for more words to confirm it wasn’t his mind relapsing. A few beats passed. They both needed time to reconnect. 

“You know, I lied about that winter flower,” Ging finally said, “I did find it.” 

Killua wasn’t surprised that Ging would have an anecdote to tell to circle around his intentions for the call. There was something comforting in knowing he hadn’t changed too much. 

“It grows under the ice,” he continued, “it has layers of petals with different shades of blues and violet. When the sun hit it… it glowed beautifully but looked so fragile under the ice. Like it was made of clouds and feathers.”

He took a long breath and Killua waited patiently, drinking his words like the rare gift they were. 

“I wanted to bring it back and show that I succeeded in my mission but I didn’t. I knew the flower would eventually wither if I did.” He paused. “That flower was beautiful because of where it was found, and how it was found. Picking it up would have destroyed it’s beauty.”

Killua felt a salty tear roll down his cheek. “Do you ever regret it ?”

“Yeah, all the time…”

They both fell silent, listening to each other’s breath. 

Killua tilted his head back and gazed up at the flowers blooming above.

"Goodbye, Ging," he said, hanging up with a strange finality settling in his chest. 

A gust of wind shook the tree's branches and a few of the flowers fell toward him.

A new summer was on its way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it, I hope you enjoyed this hell of a journey!  
> I know I did, I planned that ending from the very beginning because I couldn't see this work out, at least not in the near future?  
> I've enjoyed this ship and I hope other will want to explore them. 
> 
> If you wish to follow me on twitter, I'm not super active, but I do draw some naughty things from time to time: @killuamorow
> 
> I have another fic that is cooking but I'm taking a long break for now! 
> 
> Thank you for reading it, commenting, leaving kudos! It kept me going!

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave your thoughts below.  
> It's the whole fun of publishing a story, to get a grasp of what people think of your ideas. 
> 
> Might not be able to publish often since I'm trying to finish my other story first.  
> (But this story won't be as long as the previous one for sure !)
> 
> Thanks for anyone who gives this a try.


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